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9mmSMG

@9mmsmg • 261,074 subscribers

Just a dude traveling around before the world ends. American, part-time Eurotrash.

Shorts

Hide the pain Harold moment.

Hide the pain Harold moment.

25,829,653 Aufrufe

This could have been solved differently in a just world.

This could have been solved differently in a just world.

13,767,422 Aufrufe

No archer is dry firing his bow. This is probably the 5th disaster I've seen doing so. I don't know how this isn't common knowledge among owners.

No archer is dry firing his bow. This is probably the 5th disaster I've seen doing so. I don't know how this isn't common knowledge among owners.

6,572,877 Aufrufe

Oh, you were celebrating lahoewaheeaaaaaaaa, why didn't you say so? I can't stand Hawaii. The natives all hate you unless they're directly making money from you. Outside tourist areas, it's a hellhole, and everyone is rude. One of the worst states in the country.

Oh, you were celebrating lahoewaheeaaaaaaaa, why didn't you say so? I can't stand Hawaii. The natives all hate you unless they're directly making money from you. Outside tourist areas, it's a hellhole, and everyone is rude. One of the worst states in the country.

7,083,606 Aufrufe

Sudden urge to sneak into their house and steal their who pudding, the roast beast, and even steal their last can of who hash.

Sudden urge to sneak into their house and steal their who pudding, the roast beast, and even steal their last can of who hash.

7,015,594 Aufrufe

Must be another "Welsh" man. Machete people sure are getting difficult to endure.

Must be another "Welsh" man. Machete people sure are getting difficult to endure.

5,853,899 Aufrufe

Will steal anything not bolted down.

Will steal anything not bolted down.

5,165,478 Aufrufe

She's perfect. I hope she called him a dork for wearing them before she broke them.

She's perfect. I hope she called him a dork for wearing them before she broke them.

1,671,258 Aufrufe

You have to be smarter than the gun.

You have to be smarter than the gun.

2,496,448 Aufrufe

The way this woman just bounces off of him like she ran into an invisible force field is hysterical.

The way this woman just bounces off of him like she ran into an invisible force field is hysterical.

1,217,786 Aufrufe

This is the best thing short dudes can do. I have a friend who's 5ft 3, and he got so jacked that no one even noticed his height. He's just a wrecking ball now. You don't get to be short and fat or short and skinny. Be short and become a monster. It's easier, too. Your muscles look way bigger on short limbs.

This is the best thing short dudes can do. I have a friend who's 5ft 3, and he got so jacked that no one even noticed his height. He's just a wrecking ball now. You don't get to be short and fat or short and skinny. Be short and become a monster. It's easier, too. Your muscles look way bigger on short limbs.

1,202,467 Aufrufe

Leave the man alone.

Leave the man alone.

1,508,033 Aufrufe

The Haka nonsense is hysterical. Liberals love putting the Maori people on some sort of pedestal because they were in New Zealand before Europeans. You know another fun fact about them? They were cannibals. It wasn't until the 19th century with increased European contact through missionaries and the spread of Christianity that Europeans were able to stop them from ritualistic cannibalism. It took colonial governance to ban the practice. Without European colonialists, they would still be bashing their enemies over the head and eating them. Throughout history, the vanquished tribes that were allowed to remain put on dramatic performative shows of their culture, pretending like it is vastly superior. The reality is, if they reverted to Maori culture, most of the modern Maori people would hate it. Their fondness to the culture only highlights the storybook versionsof that culture and rarely the historical version.

The Haka nonsense is hysterical. Liberals love putting the Maori people on some sort of pedestal because they were in New Zealand before Europeans. You know another fun fact about them? They were cannibals. It wasn't until the 19th century with increased European contact through missionaries and the spread of Christianity that Europeans were able to stop them from ritualistic cannibalism. It took colonial governance to ban the practice. Without European colonialists, they would still be bashing their enemies over the head and eating them. Throughout history, the vanquished tribes that were allowed to remain put on dramatic performative shows of their culture, pretending like it is vastly superior. The reality is, if they reverted to Maori culture, most of the modern Maori people would hate it. Their fondness to the culture only highlights the storybook versionsof that culture and rarely the historical version.

1,438,767 Aufrufe

This should put you on a no-fly list.

This should put you on a no-fly list.

1,186,394 Aufrufe

This video does something to me internally. The father failed, and the people who let that man inside their borders did as well.

Sensitive content

This video does something to me internally. The father failed, and the people who let that man inside their borders did as well.

2,389,254 Aufrufe

He did NOT feel like running that day.

Sensitive content

He did NOT feel like running that day.

2,409,555 Aufrufe

I've long held the belief that as long as John Daly is alive, whatever it is you're doing probably won't kill you. He is the canary in the mine. When he drops, you have to be more cautious.

I've long held the belief that as long as John Daly is alive, whatever it is you're doing probably won't kill you. He is the canary in the mine. When he drops, you have to be more cautious.

1,580,752 Aufrufe

Congratulations to all the dudes on estrogen getting cervical screening letters. It's going to be a very easy screening because you don't have a cervix.

Sensitive content

Congratulations to all the dudes on estrogen getting cervical screening letters. It's going to be a very easy screening because you don't have a cervix.

850,400 Aufrufe

At this point we can stop calling it a theory and just admit it's a law.

At this point we can stop calling it a theory and just admit it's a law.

618,803 Aufrufe

It's one of the biggest fraud rackets around. A single mother with eight children will receive her EBT payout. She now has a debit card that's loaded up, but SNAP benefits don't pay for cigarettes, nails, going to the bar, or make-up. Another person likes paying less for groceries and buys the woman's card off her at a discount of 50 or 25%. That person now gets groceries for 2010 prices, and the original card holder gets cash, and the kids live on instant noodles. It's why it always drove me nuts that using EBT didn't require showing a photo ID each time it was used. It's a dirty business that needs to end.

It's one of the biggest fraud rackets around. A single mother with eight children will receive her EBT payout. She now has a debit card that's loaded up, but SNAP benefits don't pay for cigarettes, nails, going to the bar, or make-up. Another person likes paying less for groceries and buys the woman's card off her at a discount of 50 or 25%. That person now gets groceries for 2010 prices, and the original card holder gets cash, and the kids live on instant noodles. It's why it always drove me nuts that using EBT didn't require showing a photo ID each time it was used. It's a dirty business that needs to end.

861,856 Aufrufe

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Obese Disney adults that break out with a rash when they move. 2024

Obese Disney adults that break out with a rash when they move. 2024

28,122,799 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

My old roommate and I discussing who was going to turn the dishwasher on.

My old roommate and I discussing who was going to turn the dishwasher on.

26,856,163 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

While it has obvious downsides, I'd take this over a cubicle and office chit chat 100%

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This media may contain sensitive content.

While it has obvious downsides, I'd take this over a cubicle and office chit chat 100%

13,353,947 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

A natural and healthy reaction to this would have been to remove your shoe and investigate the pain.

A natural and healthy reaction to this would have been to remove your shoe and investigate the pain.

18,690,462 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Well that's the scariest status I've ever seen.

Well that's the scariest status I've ever seen.

5,228,029 Aufrufe • vor 7 Monaten

I'm scared to death of female cops.

I'm scared to death of female cops.

22,577,808 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

At some point during the smash burger craze, they won't even have any beef anymore. They'll just drip some ground beef grease on a piece of cheese and call it good.

At some point during the smash burger craze, they won't even have any beef anymore. They'll just drip some ground beef grease on a piece of cheese and call it good.

4,907,176 Aufrufe • vor 7 Monaten

It's important to prep your car for 20 minutes in public with weird Home Alone nonsense before parking in sketchy neighborhoods. I mean, the airtag makes sense, but what was the tape on the dash for?

It's important to prep your car for 20 minutes in public with weird Home Alone nonsense before parking in sketchy neighborhoods. I mean, the airtag makes sense, but what was the tape on the dash for?

11,643,295 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

If your girl proposes to you, especially during the Olympics, you're cooked. There is nothing more emasculating than a woman proposing.

If your girl proposes to you, especially during the Olympics, you're cooked. There is nothing more emasculating than a woman proposing.

19,955,378 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

A man dressed as a woman scolds a woman dressed as an Indian for Halloween. We're hitting levels of hypocrisy we never thought possible.

A man dressed as a woman scolds a woman dressed as an Indian for Halloween. We're hitting levels of hypocrisy we never thought possible.

7,769,935 Aufrufe • vor 11 Monaten

Look, not to be Joey Swoll, but this is obnoxious. She should be banned from the gym, and a judge should sentence her to get fat.

Look, not to be Joey Swoll, but this is obnoxious. She should be banned from the gym, and a judge should sentence her to get fat.

8,667,050 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

No, you don't ask for a refund. You acknowledge that you willingly decided to fly on a plane with other people, and some of those other people may have babies that will cry. Then you learn an important lesson about bringing noise canceling headphones. If you don't want to risk listening to a crying baby, you can fly private. I promise you, the kids' parents are probably more stressed out about it than you.

No, you don't ask for a refund. You acknowledge that you willingly decided to fly on a plane with other people, and some of those other people may have babies that will cry. Then you learn an important lesson about bringing noise canceling headphones. If you don't want to risk listening to a crying baby, you can fly private. I promise you, the kids' parents are probably more stressed out about it than you.

6,816,314 Aufrufe • vor 10 Monaten

Just a reminder that if you're having a rough time, don't do it. Talk to someone, anyone.

Just a reminder that if you're having a rough time, don't do it. Talk to someone, anyone.

17,300,246 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

I can't stress this enough. You have to stay healthy. You have to avoid needing medical care for as long as possible. Your doctor may have a sub 500 MCAT and a 2.7 GPA.

I can't stress this enough. You have to stay healthy. You have to avoid needing medical care for as long as possible. Your doctor may have a sub 500 MCAT and a 2.7 GPA.

5,387,775 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten

This has to be the plot of a scary movie.

This has to be the plot of a scary movie.

15,911,980 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

This guy is gonna get so much heat in the yard for getting girl bossed 😂

This guy is gonna get so much heat in the yard for getting girl bossed 😂

12,993,176 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

Her attitude changed when she got 15 years.

Her attitude changed when she got 15 years.

12,697,024 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

This is arguably the single best explanation of anything ever given. He deserves a raise.

This is arguably the single best explanation of anything ever given. He deserves a raise.

12,479,596 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

Today, I learned that bums vs. drones was a thing. It's like a dystopian version of Bumfights.

Today, I learned that bums vs. drones was a thing. It's like a dystopian version of Bumfights.

12,249,858 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

At least it wasn't a Lego.

At least it wasn't a Lego.

9,228,018 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr