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Governor Newsom Press Office (parody)

@AwesomeNewsom • 58,005 subscribers

YOUR FAVORITE GOVERNOR. SOME SAY THE MOST FAVORITE GOVERNOR IN THE HISTORY OF FAVORITES. (PARODY)

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HEY DUMBURGER. IF YOU FINISHED 2ND GRADE YOU’D KNOW YOU CAN'T LOWER BY 600%. MAX IS 100%. I.E. YOUR APPROVAL DROPPED BY 100%. YOUR CANKLES GREW BY 100%. YOU'RE 100% IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. YOUR SPEECH WAS 100% LOCO. YOU'RE 100% SCUMMIER & DUMBER THAN ME. --GCN (C IS FOR CALCULUS.)

HEY DUMBURGER. IF YOU FINISHED 2ND GRADE YOU’D KNOW YOU CAN'T LOWER BY 600%. MAX IS 100%. I.E. YOUR APPROVAL DROPPED BY 100%. YOUR CANKLES GREW BY 100%. YOU'RE 100% IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. YOUR SPEECH WAS 100% LOCO. YOU'RE 100% SCUMMIER & DUMBER THAN ME. --GCN (C IS FOR CALCULUS.)

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IF YOU'RE PROTESTING DON'T FORGET THAT WE'RE PAYING $100/HOUR, PLUS DENTAL, PARKING, AND A FREE JET FROM QATAR. OVERTIME PAY INCLUDES $2 BILLION FROM SAUDI ARABIA AND A JARED KUSHNER CALENDAR. BRING YOUR ANTIFA ID AND HAVE FUN! REMEMBER TO GRAB YOUR BALLROOM ON THE WAY OUT. --GCN

IF YOU'RE PROTESTING DON'T FORGET THAT WE'RE PAYING $100/HOUR, PLUS DENTAL, PARKING, AND A FREE JET FROM QATAR. OVERTIME PAY INCLUDES $2 BILLION FROM SAUDI ARABIA AND A JARED KUSHNER CALENDAR. BRING YOUR ANTIFA ID AND HAVE FUN! REMEMBER TO GRAB YOUR BALLROOM ON THE WAY OUT. --GCN

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FDA HAS RELEASED A NEW GUIDELINE: IF YOU HAVE ACCIDENTALLY DIGESTED A TOXIC SUBSTANCE, IMMEDIATELY WATCH THIS VIDEO TO INDUCE VOMITING. ⚠️WARNING⚠️ VOMITING CAN LAST FOR UP TO 10 DAYS. SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE NAUSEA, NIGHTMARES, AND A PERMANENT LOSS OF APPETITE.

FDA HAS RELEASED A NEW GUIDELINE: IF YOU HAVE ACCIDENTALLY DIGESTED A TOXIC SUBSTANCE, IMMEDIATELY WATCH THIS VIDEO TO INDUCE VOMITING. ⚠️WARNING⚠️ VOMITING CAN LAST FOR UP TO 10 DAYS. SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE NAUSEA, NIGHTMARES, AND A PERMANENT LOSS OF APPETITE.

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AWW. DONNY IS TREATED UNFAIRLY. MAYBE TINY HANDS HAS A TINY VIOLIN. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESS, HOW WILL YOU HANDLE THE WORLD? YOU MOAN ABOUT EVERYONE. WE NEED GALVANIZED GAVIN, NOT COMMANDER-IN-BEEF. TOUGHEN UP! JOIN A GYM FOR JELLOs. WE WANT A WHITE HOUSE NOT A WHINE HOUSE.

AWW. DONNY IS TREATED UNFAIRLY. MAYBE TINY HANDS HAS A TINY VIOLIN. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESS, HOW WILL YOU HANDLE THE WORLD? YOU MOAN ABOUT EVERYONE. WE NEED GALVANIZED GAVIN, NOT COMMANDER-IN-BEEF. TOUGHEN UP! JOIN A GYM FOR JELLOs. WE WANT A WHITE HOUSE NOT A WHINE HOUSE.

544,933 просмотров

It's all a misdirection. A sleight of a tiny hand.

It's all a misdirection. A sleight of a tiny hand.

67,286 просмотров

CLEAN UP IN AISLE 47!

CLEAN UP IN AISLE 47!

43,608 просмотров

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THIS IS SAD. POOR NANA CAN'T REMEMBER A ONE PAGE SPEECH. THEN ENDS WITH, "I HOPE THIS IS MY LAST VISIT." WHAT??? KEEP YOUR DAY JOB!! NO WAIT, YOU SUCK AT THAT TOO. DEAR KING CHARLES, EVERY COURT NEEDS A JESTER. PLEASE TAKE OURS. LOVE, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. ("C" IS FOR COMEDIC GENIUS)

THIS IS SAD. POOR NANA CAN'T REMEMBER A ONE PAGE SPEECH. THEN ENDS WITH, "I HOPE THIS IS MY LAST VISIT." WHAT??? KEEP YOUR DAY JOB!! NO WAIT, YOU SUCK AT THAT TOO. DEAR KING CHARLES, EVERY COURT NEEDS A JESTER. PLEASE TAKE OURS. LOVE, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. ("C" IS FOR COMEDIC GENIUS)

Governor Newsom Press Office (parody)

1,435,988 просмотров • 10 месяцев назад

CONGRATULATIONS TO DONALD TRUMP ON ACING THE "IT TOOK YOU TWO HOURS TO IDENTIFY A GIRAFFE BUT YOUR MEDICAL MANSERVANT STILL DROPPED TO HIS KNEES AND CALLED YOU A TRIATHLETE PRODIGY BECAUSE HE'S TOO MORTIFIED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE BODY AND IQ OF A JELLY DONUT" TEST. --GCN

CONGRATULATIONS TO DONALD TRUMP ON ACING THE "IT TOOK YOU TWO HOURS TO IDENTIFY A GIRAFFE BUT YOUR MEDICAL MANSERVANT STILL DROPPED TO HIS KNEES AND CALLED YOU A TRIATHLETE PRODIGY BECAUSE HE'S TOO MORTIFIED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE BODY AND IQ OF A JELLY DONUT" TEST. --GCN

Governor Newsom Press Office (parody)

405,646 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

DEAR PATRIOTS. I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, WANT TO SHARE MY FAVORITE MUSIC WITH YOU. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, AND WE HAVE MORE DEMOCRACY TO DEFEND. BUT TONIGHT SIT BACK AND RELAX TO THIS SOOTHING MELODY. I CALL IT "CONCERTO NO. 47 IN DONNY MINOR." ENJOY! --LOVE, AMERICA'S GOVERNOR

DEAR PATRIOTS. I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, WANT TO SHARE MY FAVORITE MUSIC WITH YOU. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, AND WE HAVE MORE DEMOCRACY TO DEFEND. BUT TONIGHT SIT BACK AND RELAX TO THIS SOOTHING MELODY. I CALL IT "CONCERTO NO. 47 IN DONNY MINOR." ENJOY! --LOVE, AMERICA'S GOVERNOR

Governor Newsom Press Office (parody)

459,424 просмотров • 8 месяцев назад

DONNY, WE KNOW WHY YOU'RE HIDING. AMERICANS ARE SEARCHING FOR ME 9700% MORE THAN EVER! SINCE YOU DON’T SPEAK MATH, TRUST ME THAT'S ULTRA-BIGLY. AND 84% WANT A FIGHTER LIKE ME, NOT A FRIED CHICKEN LIKE YOU. GO BACK TO MAR-A-LOSER. AMERICA WANTS A WARRIOR, NOT A WORRIER. --GCN

DONNY, WE KNOW WHY YOU'RE HIDING. AMERICANS ARE SEARCHING FOR ME 9700% MORE THAN EVER! SINCE YOU DON’T SPEAK MATH, TRUST ME THAT'S ULTRA-BIGLY. AND 84% WANT A FIGHTER LIKE ME, NOT A FRIED CHICKEN LIKE YOU. GO BACK TO MAR-A-LOSER. AMERICA WANTS A WARRIOR, NOT A WORRIER. --GCN

Governor Newsom Press Office (parody)

376,018 просмотров • 11 месяцев назад

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