Chino

@ChinoUTD • 18,270 subscribers

Football fiction & satire only | Pure banter for laughs | Don’t believe a word | Sponsored by @rainbetcom

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🚨 Miguel: “People saw Sesko miss… I watched Bruno. Man reacted like he lost a trophy, not an assist. Obi, that record is haunting him. Break Henry & KDB’s number and you don’t join history… you become it. Teammates, stop wasting chances. Eat them.”

🚨 Miguel: “People saw Sesko miss… I watched Bruno. Man reacted like he lost a trophy, not an assist. Obi, that record is haunting him. Break Henry & KDB’s number and you don’t join history… you become it. Teammates, stop wasting chances. Eat them.”

314,579 просмотров

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🚨 Rooney: “Kagawa’s first day, I asked why he was special. He said: ‘short legs, better control.’ one-touch magic. He was impossible to press. If Fergie stayed longer, we’d talk about Kags like David Silva. Some players don’t fail… timing fails them.”

🚨 Rooney: “Kagawa’s first day, I asked why he was special. He said: ‘short legs, better control.’ one-touch magic. He was impossible to press. If Fergie stayed longer, we’d talk about Kags like David Silva. Some players don’t fail… timing fails them.”

2,706,683 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

🚨 Rio Ferdinand: “People gas Palmer like we didn’t have Januzaj doing this a decade ago. Same flair, same IQ...and more sauce. Bro moved like he was playing FIFA on beginner mode. Calm, fearless, cooked defenders for fun. Streets won’t ever forget him.”

🚨 Rio Ferdinand: “People gas Palmer like we didn’t have Januzaj doing this a decade ago. Same flair, same IQ...and more sauce. Bro moved like he was playing FIFA on beginner mode. Calm, fearless, cooked defenders for fun. Streets won’t ever forget him.”

4,556,991 просмотров • 8 месяцев назад

🚨 Defoe: “Pedri plays in a museum. Bruno plays in a war zone. One keeps the ball. The other decides games. Swap them & Pedri drowns in Manchester noise. Bruno in Barca? Lewa gets fed, La Liga gets more exciting, & the assist charts get rewritten.”

🚨 Defoe: “Pedri plays in a museum. Bruno plays in a war zone. One keeps the ball. The other decides games. Swap them & Pedri drowns in Manchester noise. Bruno in Barca? Lewa gets fed, La Liga gets more exciting, & the assist charts get rewritten.”

2,691,781 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

🚨 Roy Keane: “£40M for promise or £64M for impact? I’m not running a charity. Semenyo changes games, Garnacho trends online. Smart clubs pay for damage, not discounts. Saving £24M means nothing if you’re still begging for end product.”

🚨 Roy Keane: “£40M for promise or £64M for impact? I’m not running a charity. Semenyo changes games, Garnacho trends online. Smart clubs pay for damage, not discounts. Saving £24M means nothing if you’re still begging for end product.”

2,186,882 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

🚨 Giggs: “Sir Jim basically said: the manager isn’t the problem, you are. And suddenly, the squad woke up. You don’t come back vs Spurs with ten men unless the mentality’s shifted. INEOS, back Amorim with real quality now…and the league’s in trouble.”

🚨 Giggs: “Sir Jim basically said: the manager isn’t the problem, you are. And suddenly, the squad woke up. You don’t come back vs Spurs with ten men unless the mentality’s shifted. INEOS, back Amorim with real quality now…and the league’s in trouble.”

1,974,976 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

🚨 Andy Cole: “Liverpool could’ve had Sesko but chose Ekitike? That’s like leaving Haaland for Wood. Sesko don’t need 10 chances, give him 5, he buries 4. Top 3 clinical finishers in the PL. Once United click, he’s scoring for breakfast, lunch & dinner”

🚨 Andy Cole: “Liverpool could’ve had Sesko but chose Ekitike? That’s like leaving Haaland for Wood. Sesko don’t need 10 chances, give him 5, he buries 4. Top 3 clinical finishers in the PL. Once United click, he’s scoring for breakfast, lunch & dinner”

2,354,064 просмотров • 9 месяцев назад

🚨 Evra “Back then, nobody cried about systems. You perform where the boss puts you. Park once said, ‘If the boss puts me at RB, he’s right & I’ll make it work.’ & he did. That’s why we won it all. No ego, no complaints… just warriors doing their jobs”

🚨 Evra “Back then, nobody cried about systems. You perform where the boss puts you. Park once said, ‘If the boss puts me at RB, he’s right & I’ll make it work.’ & he did. That’s why we won it all. No ego, no complaints… just warriors doing their jobs”

1,614,650 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

🚨 Andy Cole: “Carrick showed Dorgu his Lecce clips & said: ‘That’s why we signed you.’ Defender by name, winger by attitude. Ask City how fun that was. 5th most fouled, ahead of Saka. Keep that confidence…and United just found a cheat code.”

🚨 Andy Cole: “Carrick showed Dorgu his Lecce clips & said: ‘That’s why we signed you.’ Defender by name, winger by attitude. Ask City how fun that was. 5th most fouled, ahead of Saka. Keep that confidence…and United just found a cheat code.”

1,122,242 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

🚨 | Cristiano Ronaldo on Frank Ribery “Maybe he’s still salty, I don’t know. No disrespect, but I genuinely can’t tell you what Ribery’s game was about. Robben? Had a signature style. Salah even copied it and succeeded in it. That’s what greatness is.”

🚨 | Cristiano Ronaldo on Frank Ribery “Maybe he’s still salty, I don’t know. No disrespect, but I genuinely can’t tell you what Ribery’s game was about. Robben? Had a signature style. Salah even copied it and succeeded in it. That’s what greatness is.”

2,697,764 просмотров • 1 год назад

🚨 Rio Ferdinand to Yaya Toure "Crazy how Grealish went from having City & United fighting for him to packing for Everton. That Villa version was press-resistant and electric. Imagine his best City game ×2... that was every week at Villa. Yaya, explain"

🚨 Rio Ferdinand to Yaya Toure "Crazy how Grealish went from having City & United fighting for him to packing for Everton. That Villa version was press-resistant and electric. Imagine his best City game ×2... that was every week at Villa. Yaya, explain"

2,213,505 просмотров • 10 месяцев назад

🚨 Evra: “Salah didn’t join Liverpool’s success… he created it. And now they act like he’s replaceable. United would have treated him like royalty. When Salah leaves, the clock resets… back to ‘next year’ talk & nostalgia DVDs. Haha, I love this game.”

🚨 Evra: “Salah didn’t join Liverpool’s success… he created it. And now they act like he’s replaceable. United would have treated him like royalty. When Salah leaves, the clock resets… back to ‘next year’ talk & nostalgia DVDs. Haha, I love this game.”

1,363,827 просмотров • 6 месяцев назад

🚨 | Roy Keane on Olise vs Yamal “Talent? Both got it. But Olise trains like he’s got rent due. Yamal? Moves like he just signed a Netflix doc deal. Olise reminds me of early Rashford... Hungry, locked in, lethal. That's who I want in my XI.”

🚨 | Roy Keane on Olise vs Yamal “Talent? Both got it. But Olise trains like he’s got rent due. Yamal? Moves like he just signed a Netflix doc deal. Olise reminds me of early Rashford... Hungry, locked in, lethal. That's who I want in my XI.”

2,395,438 просмотров • 1 год назад

🚨 Schweinsteiger: “Every time I watch Olise, I ask myself how Yamal is ‘the best in the world.’ Talent wise, Olise clears him. Feels like Barca’s PR dept is working harder than their midfield. Stop forcing the next Messi...it’s giving Disney+ trailer.”

🚨 Schweinsteiger: “Every time I watch Olise, I ask myself how Yamal is ‘the best in the world.’ Talent wise, Olise clears him. Feels like Barca’s PR dept is working harder than their midfield. Stop forcing the next Messi...it’s giving Disney+ trailer.”

1,789,322 просмотров • 9 месяцев назад

🚨 Roy Keane: “System? Formation? Against Grimsby? Don’t make me laugh. That’s meant to be a glorified training session. Ji, you were an engine, you didn’t need Fergie whispering in your ear on how to run over lads who’ll be back at work Monday morning.”

🚨 Roy Keane: “System? Formation? Against Grimsby? Don’t make me laugh. That’s meant to be a glorified training session. Ji, you were an engine, you didn’t need Fergie whispering in your ear on how to run over lads who’ll be back at work Monday morning.”

1,970,741 просмотров • 10 месяцев назад

🚨 Rooney: “Huijsen or Yoro? Easy. When Madrid wants a player, you pay attention. United could’ve played it safe & gone for Huijsen. But they didn’t, they fought Madrid for Yoro. Clubs don’t go to war for ‘maybe’ players. They do it for the real deal.”

🚨 Rooney: “Huijsen or Yoro? Easy. When Madrid wants a player, you pay attention. United could’ve played it safe & gone for Huijsen. But they didn’t, they fought Madrid for Yoro. Clubs don’t go to war for ‘maybe’ players. They do it for the real deal.”

1,445,647 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

🚨 | Patrice Evra on Zirkzee “Bro's that guy who looks like he’s jogging through a match... then casually ruins defenders lives. He’s not a target man, he’s a vibe. You could sign Osimhen, Cunha and Mbeumo ..maybe even prime Drogba, Zirkzee still cooks.

🚨 | Patrice Evra on Zirkzee “Bro's that guy who looks like he’s jogging through a match... then casually ruins defenders lives. He’s not a target man, he’s a vibe. You could sign Osimhen, Cunha and Mbeumo ..maybe even prime Drogba, Zirkzee still cooks.

2,530,993 просмотров • 1 год назад

🚨 Schmeichel: “Onana’s talented. Lammens? He replaced Onana cause pressure doesn’t touch him. One hears the crowd & panics. The other hears it & his pulse doesn’t move. That calm at 22 isn’t normal. Give him time & you’re looking at the world’s best.”

🚨 Schmeichel: “Onana’s talented. Lammens? He replaced Onana cause pressure doesn’t touch him. One hears the crowd & panics. The other hears it & his pulse doesn’t move. That calm at 22 isn’t normal. Give him time & you’re looking at the world’s best.”

1,147,766 просмотров • 6 месяцев назад

🚨 Mourinho: “They keep losing stars to United and acting surprised. Van Persie hurt them. Now Heaven leaves them. Their backup defenders are better? (laughs) They talk league position, I talk trophies. Finish empty-handed & all that noise means nothing”

🚨 Mourinho: “They keep losing stars to United and acting surprised. Van Persie hurt them. Now Heaven leaves them. Their backup defenders are better? (laughs) They talk league position, I talk trophies. Finish empty-handed & all that noise means nothing”

1,069,666 просмотров • 6 месяцев назад

🚨 Louis van Gaal “Told Ten Hag, only the special survive United. He thought I insulted him. The media, the pressure…it eats people alive. To even leave and become a Ballon d’Or nominee? That’s escaping Alcatraz. McTominay, respect..you proved me wrong”

🚨 Louis van Gaal “Told Ten Hag, only the special survive United. He thought I insulted him. The media, the pressure…it eats people alive. To even leave and become a Ballon d’Or nominee? That’s escaping Alcatraz. McTominay, respect..you proved me wrong”

1,605,635 просмотров • 9 месяцев назад

🚨 Sneijder “Madrid told me I was finished. Mourinho rang 48 hours later: ‘Come Inter, we’ll shock the world.’ We won the Treble & lifted the UCL in Madrid’s stadium. If Jose succeeded Fergie at United, I’d have followed. The PL would’ve needed therapy”

🚨 Sneijder “Madrid told me I was finished. Mourinho rang 48 hours later: ‘Come Inter, we’ll shock the world.’ We won the Treble & lifted the UCL in Madrid’s stadium. If Jose succeeded Fergie at United, I’d have followed. The PL would’ve needed therapy”

1,027,698 просмотров • 6 месяцев назад