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Darth Putin

@DarthPutinKGB • 636,836 subscribers

Czar for life of all Russians. Master Strategist. Tea connoisseur. Window installer. Author. Wanted in 123 countries. Parody, apparently.

Shorts

The Russian economy is rapidly transitioning to the cloud.

The Russian economy is rapidly transitioning to the cloud.

368,860 görüntüleme

A day ago we killed around 30 civilians in Kiev. Apparently this isn't worth a mention on Amnesty International's main account. Wonder why.

A day ago we killed around 30 civilians in Kiev. Apparently this isn't worth a mention on Amnesty International's main account. Wonder why.

425,365 görüntüleme

Peskov: "Russia has never started a world war" The history of Russia:

Peskov: "Russia has never started a world war" The history of Russia:

194,333 görüntüleme

The only tank in today's victory parade was a T-34. When it heard it was to be sent to Ukraine it tried to play dead.

The only tank in today's victory parade was a T-34. When it heard it was to be sent to Ukraine it tried to play dead.

4,301,251 görüntüleme

"You can literally see other state's intentions in real time". Like when they park nearly 200,000 soldiers on a country's border after saying said country shouldn't exist. Which causes us to say stuff like this....

"You can literally see other state's intentions in real time". Like when they park nearly 200,000 soldiers on a country's border after saying said country shouldn't exist. Which causes us to say stuff like this....

94,436 görüntüleme

In response to Leopards & Abrams, Russia will deploy our Amrata tank which will prevent any retreat as it can't move.

In response to Leopards & Abrams, Russia will deploy our Amrata tank which will prevent any retreat as it can't move.

1,642,287 görüntüleme

Have to admire Amnesty International for consistency. Its becoming normal that they won't mention our endless attacks on civilians. They probably wonder how things like this get normalized.

Have to admire Amnesty International for consistency. Its becoming normal that they won't mention our endless attacks on civilians. They probably wonder how things like this get normalized.

41,561 görüntüleme

For some reason Agnes Callamard hasn't mentioned our deliberate killing of civilians with ballistic missiles over the past few days. Wonder why. Other crimes against humanity seem to get their due attention...

For some reason Agnes Callamard hasn't mentioned our deliberate killing of civilians with ballistic missiles over the past few days. Wonder why. Other crimes against humanity seem to get their due attention...

66,152 görüntüleme

OTD in 1939 the German–Soviet victory parade took place in Polish town of Brest-Litovsk. As allies, we celebrated liberating Poland from the Poles

OTD in 1939 the German–Soviet victory parade took place in Polish town of Brest-Litovsk. As allies, we celebrated liberating Poland from the Poles

710,255 görüntüleme

Ever noticed that your dog is so happy when you put a collar on it?

Ever noticed that your dog is so happy when you put a collar on it?

322,630 görüntüleme

Our response to Ukraine's strike program in one video. He might as well piss on it.

Our response to Ukraine's strike program in one video. He might as well piss on it.

62,564 görüntüleme

Day 1546 of my 3 day war. Russia never loses wars*. Ukraine is Russia and Ukrainians are Russians. Therefore, Russia is winning this war whilst losing it. I remain a master strategist.

Day 1546 of my 3 day war. Russia never loses wars*. Ukraine is Russia and Ukrainians are Russians. Therefore, Russia is winning this war whilst losing it. I remain a master strategist.

40,230 görüntüleme

Here's one donkey that's going to the front line. The one that made an analogy for Russia by going back instead of forward with me in charge of it.

Here's one donkey that's going to the front line. The one that made an analogy for Russia by going back instead of forward with me in charge of it.

108,245 görüntüleme

Videos

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Fuel crisis in Moscow isn't all bad. It'll be easy to find everyone for the mobilisation. I remain a master strategist.

Fuel crisis in Moscow isn't all bad. It'll be easy to find everyone for the mobilisation. I remain a master strategist.

102,908 görüntüleme • 1 gün önce

I hate it when my trolls claim those innocent guys who totally weren't GRU were deliberately burned alive. It means I have to post the video of them throwing the petrol bombs that they later killed themselves with. All my trolls are morons.

I hate it when my trolls claim those innocent guys who totally weren't GRU were deliberately burned alive. It means I have to post the video of them throwing the petrol bombs that they later killed themselves with. All my trolls are morons.

508,445 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

There are not petrol shortages on the Moscow - Saint Petersburg highway. It is a Special Queuing Operation.

There are not petrol shortages on the Moscow - Saint Petersburg highway. It is a Special Queuing Operation.

278,999 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

This crying woman telling what Ukrainian drone strikes were like in Novorossiysk show how Russians have a very high tolerance for pain. Other people's. Not our own.

This crying woman telling what Ukrainian drone strikes were like in Novorossiysk show how Russians have a very high tolerance for pain. Other people's. Not our own.

33,106 görüntüleme • 9 gün önce

Everything is going to plan. Please ignore the very loud distractions distractions. There are no petrol shortages, they are "special queuing operations". Everything is going to plan.

Everything is going to plan. Please ignore the very loud distractions distractions. There are no petrol shortages, they are "special queuing operations". Everything is going to plan.

137,115 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

North Koreans troll me with mass group of sunflowers.

North Koreans troll me with mass group of sunflowers.

1,302,988 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Ukraine will keep hitting Russian oil refineries. Russia is unable to stop this. For the sake of peace Russia should cede territory, commit to de-armament & be neutral. Noam Chomsky

Ukraine will keep hitting Russian oil refineries. Russia is unable to stop this. For the sake of peace Russia should cede territory, commit to de-armament & be neutral. Noam Chomsky

166,242 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

I hate it when my trolls claim we got a promise from NATO. It means I have to post this video of Gorby saying we didn't.

I hate it when my trolls claim we got a promise from NATO. It means I have to post this video of Gorby saying we didn't.

297,922 görüntüleme • 10 ay önce

OTD in 1941 the Soviets had a military parade in Moscow. So they invited their Nazis allies cos it would be rude not to.

OTD in 1941 the Soviets had a military parade in Moscow. So they invited their Nazis allies cos it would be rude not to.

889,918 görüntüleme • 3 yıl önce

The Russian military sitzkrieg is spreading to society.

The Russian military sitzkrieg is spreading to society.

46,910 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

Crimean tourism advert: "You come to Crimea for the beaches. You stay cos Ukrainians are destroying our logistics system and there's no fuel to drive home afterwards"

Crimean tourism advert: "You come to Crimea for the beaches. You stay cos Ukrainians are destroying our logistics system and there's no fuel to drive home afterwards"

57,644 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

There is one universal rule. Whenever Moscow is thrown out of a country, mass celebrations happen

There is one universal rule. Whenever Moscow is thrown out of a country, mass celebrations happen

78,501 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

Citizens in newly liberated parts of Donetsk express delight that Kremlin has replaced drinking water with coffee on tap for every resident.

Citizens in newly liberated parts of Donetsk express delight that Kremlin has replaced drinking water with coffee on tap for every resident.

181,790 görüntüleme • 11 ay önce

Western sanctions flop as Russian residents enjoy strong, pungent odour of fountain of free coffee….

Western sanctions flop as Russian residents enjoy strong, pungent odour of fountain of free coffee….

302,638 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

Day 1274 of my 3 day war. It's going so well that a country with massive reserves of oil is running out of fuel. I remain a master strategist.

Day 1274 of my 3 day war. It's going so well that a country with massive reserves of oil is running out of fuel. I remain a master strategist.

121,182 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

The stone age did not end cos they ran out of stone. But when it runs out of oil, Russia's army will return to the stone age.

The stone age did not end cos they ran out of stone. But when it runs out of oil, Russia's army will return to the stone age.

101,116 görüntüleme • 10 ay önce

Imperialists provide video evidence of Gorby saying there was no promise, as it was illegal & impossible as well as the texts of treaties. And this vid of Prez accidently forgetting we totally got a promise, Tankies provide the voices in their heads.

Imperialists provide video evidence of Gorby saying there was no promise, as it was illegal & impossible as well as the texts of treaties. And this vid of Prez accidently forgetting we totally got a promise, Tankies provide the voices in their heads.

83,138 görüntüleme • 8 ay önce

This war isn't for western defence contractor's profits, it for Russian flag makers and florists.

This war isn't for western defence contractor's profits, it for Russian flag makers and florists.

44,289 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce