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Darth Putin

@DarthPutinKGB • 636,836 subscribers

Czar for life of all Russians. Master Strategist. Tea connoisseur. Window installer. Author. Wanted in 123 countries. Parody, apparently.

Shorts

The Russian economy is rapidly transitioning to the cloud.

The Russian economy is rapidly transitioning to the cloud.

368,860 次观看

A day ago we killed around 30 civilians in Kiev. Apparently this isn't worth a mention on Amnesty International's main account. Wonder why.

A day ago we killed around 30 civilians in Kiev. Apparently this isn't worth a mention on Amnesty International's main account. Wonder why.

425,365 次观看

Peskov: "Russia has never started a world war" The history of Russia:

Peskov: "Russia has never started a world war" The history of Russia:

194,333 次观看

The only tank in today's victory parade was a T-34. When it heard it was to be sent to Ukraine it tried to play dead.

The only tank in today's victory parade was a T-34. When it heard it was to be sent to Ukraine it tried to play dead.

4,301,251 次观看

"You can literally see other state's intentions in real time". Like when they park nearly 200,000 soldiers on a country's border after saying said country shouldn't exist. Which causes us to say stuff like this....

"You can literally see other state's intentions in real time". Like when they park nearly 200,000 soldiers on a country's border after saying said country shouldn't exist. Which causes us to say stuff like this....

94,436 次观看

In response to Leopards & Abrams, Russia will deploy our Amrata tank which will prevent any retreat as it can't move.

In response to Leopards & Abrams, Russia will deploy our Amrata tank which will prevent any retreat as it can't move.

1,642,287 次观看

Have to admire Amnesty International for consistency. Its becoming normal that they won't mention our endless attacks on civilians. They probably wonder how things like this get normalized.

Have to admire Amnesty International for consistency. Its becoming normal that they won't mention our endless attacks on civilians. They probably wonder how things like this get normalized.

41,561 次观看

For some reason Agnes Callamard hasn't mentioned our deliberate killing of civilians with ballistic missiles over the past few days. Wonder why. Other crimes against humanity seem to get their due attention...

For some reason Agnes Callamard hasn't mentioned our deliberate killing of civilians with ballistic missiles over the past few days. Wonder why. Other crimes against humanity seem to get their due attention...

66,152 次观看

OTD in 1939 the German–Soviet victory parade took place in Polish town of Brest-Litovsk. As allies, we celebrated liberating Poland from the Poles

OTD in 1939 the German–Soviet victory parade took place in Polish town of Brest-Litovsk. As allies, we celebrated liberating Poland from the Poles

710,255 次观看

Ever noticed that your dog is so happy when you put a collar on it?

Ever noticed that your dog is so happy when you put a collar on it?

322,630 次观看

Our response to Ukraine's strike program in one video. He might as well piss on it.

Our response to Ukraine's strike program in one video. He might as well piss on it.

62,564 次观看

Day 1546 of my 3 day war. Russia never loses wars*. Ukraine is Russia and Ukrainians are Russians. Therefore, Russia is winning this war whilst losing it. I remain a master strategist.

Day 1546 of my 3 day war. Russia never loses wars*. Ukraine is Russia and Ukrainians are Russians. Therefore, Russia is winning this war whilst losing it. I remain a master strategist.

40,230 次观看

Here's one donkey that's going to the front line. The one that made an analogy for Russia by going back instead of forward with me in charge of it.

Here's one donkey that's going to the front line. The one that made an analogy for Russia by going back instead of forward with me in charge of it.

108,245 次观看

Videos

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Fuel crisis in Moscow isn't all bad. It'll be easy to find everyone for the mobilisation. I remain a master strategist.

Fuel crisis in Moscow isn't all bad. It'll be easy to find everyone for the mobilisation. I remain a master strategist.

102,908 次观看 • 1 天前

I hate it when my trolls claim those innocent guys who totally weren't GRU were deliberately burned alive. It means I have to post the video of them throwing the petrol bombs that they later killed themselves with. All my trolls are morons.

I hate it when my trolls claim those innocent guys who totally weren't GRU were deliberately burned alive. It means I have to post the video of them throwing the petrol bombs that they later killed themselves with. All my trolls are morons.

508,445 次观看 • 1 个月前

There are not petrol shortages on the Moscow - Saint Petersburg highway. It is a Special Queuing Operation.

There are not petrol shortages on the Moscow - Saint Petersburg highway. It is a Special Queuing Operation.

278,999 次观看 • 2 个月前

This crying woman telling what Ukrainian drone strikes were like in Novorossiysk show how Russians have a very high tolerance for pain. Other people's. Not our own.

This crying woman telling what Ukrainian drone strikes were like in Novorossiysk show how Russians have a very high tolerance for pain. Other people's. Not our own.

33,106 次观看 • 9 天前

Everything is going to plan. Please ignore the very loud distractions distractions. There are no petrol shortages, they are "special queuing operations". Everything is going to plan.

Everything is going to plan. Please ignore the very loud distractions distractions. There are no petrol shortages, they are "special queuing operations". Everything is going to plan.

137,115 次观看 • 2 个月前

North Koreans troll me with mass group of sunflowers.

North Koreans troll me with mass group of sunflowers.

1,302,988 次观看 • 2 年前

Ukraine will keep hitting Russian oil refineries. Russia is unable to stop this. For the sake of peace Russia should cede territory, commit to de-armament & be neutral. Noam Chomsky

Ukraine will keep hitting Russian oil refineries. Russia is unable to stop this. For the sake of peace Russia should cede territory, commit to de-armament & be neutral. Noam Chomsky

166,242 次观看 • 4 个月前

I hate it when my trolls claim we got a promise from NATO. It means I have to post this video of Gorby saying we didn't.

I hate it when my trolls claim we got a promise from NATO. It means I have to post this video of Gorby saying we didn't.

297,922 次观看 • 10 个月前

OTD in 1941 the Soviets had a military parade in Moscow. So they invited their Nazis allies cos it would be rude not to.

OTD in 1941 the Soviets had a military parade in Moscow. So they invited their Nazis allies cos it would be rude not to.

889,918 次观看 • 3 年前

The Russian military sitzkrieg is spreading to society.

The Russian military sitzkrieg is spreading to society.

46,910 次观看 • 1 个月前

Crimean tourism advert: "You come to Crimea for the beaches. You stay cos Ukrainians are destroying our logistics system and there's no fuel to drive home afterwards"

Crimean tourism advert: "You come to Crimea for the beaches. You stay cos Ukrainians are destroying our logistics system and there's no fuel to drive home afterwards"

57,644 次观看 • 2 个月前

There is one universal rule. Whenever Moscow is thrown out of a country, mass celebrations happen

There is one universal rule. Whenever Moscow is thrown out of a country, mass celebrations happen

78,501 次观看 • 4 个月前

Citizens in newly liberated parts of Donetsk express delight that Kremlin has replaced drinking water with coffee on tap for every resident.

Citizens in newly liberated parts of Donetsk express delight that Kremlin has replaced drinking water with coffee on tap for every resident.

181,790 次观看 • 11 个月前

Western sanctions flop as Russian residents enjoy strong, pungent odour of fountain of free coffee….

Western sanctions flop as Russian residents enjoy strong, pungent odour of fountain of free coffee….

302,638 次观看 • 1 年前

Day 1274 of my 3 day war. It's going so well that a country with massive reserves of oil is running out of fuel. I remain a master strategist.

Day 1274 of my 3 day war. It's going so well that a country with massive reserves of oil is running out of fuel. I remain a master strategist.

121,182 次观看 • 1 年前

The stone age did not end cos they ran out of stone. But when it runs out of oil, Russia's army will return to the stone age.

The stone age did not end cos they ran out of stone. But when it runs out of oil, Russia's army will return to the stone age.

101,116 次观看 • 10 个月前

Imperialists provide video evidence of Gorby saying there was no promise, as it was illegal & impossible as well as the texts of treaties. And this vid of Prez accidently forgetting we totally got a promise, Tankies provide the voices in their heads.

Imperialists provide video evidence of Gorby saying there was no promise, as it was illegal & impossible as well as the texts of treaties. And this vid of Prez accidently forgetting we totally got a promise, Tankies provide the voices in their heads.

83,138 次观看 • 8 个月前

This war isn't for western defence contractor's profits, it for Russian flag makers and florists.

This war isn't for western defence contractor's profits, it for Russian flag makers and florists.

44,289 次观看 • 4 个月前