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Nick Offerman

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Citizen 🇺🇸🐷 he/him 🎨:@MatttDavies

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Anya Rossi

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Folks, I got so much positive feedback when I played this song on the @ComicsForKamala fundraiser that I went ahead and made you a professional-style version. Coming soon to a music streamer near you, through your rectangle. #Kamalaman 🇺🇸

Folks, I got so much positive feedback when I played this song on the @ComicsForKamala fundraiser that I went ahead and made you a professional-style version. Coming soon to a music streamer near you, through your rectangle. #Kamalaman 🇺🇸

2,429,225 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Governing any group of humans is a tall, tall order indeed. Downright altitudinous. And we’ll never be done improving our system and our policies, “in order to form a more perfect union." So we all have a responsibility to get off our substantial American cabooses and vote! Make a plan to vote: Make calls to urge others to vote: Find events near you to volunteer: Video: All streaming platforms:

Governing any group of humans is a tall, tall order indeed. Downright altitudinous. And we’ll never be done improving our system and our policies, “in order to form a more perfect union." So we all have a responsibility to get off our substantial American cabooses and vote! Make a plan to vote: Make calls to urge others to vote: Find events near you to volunteer: Video: All streaming platforms:

1,341,571 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Friends, I am simply gobsmacked at the fulsome love and positivity for my latest song, so I have posted it on your favoritest music channel, with an ADDITIONAL BONUS LYRIC, so that probably means…awards. I’m also putting a new version of the video on YouTube without any bleeps so you can fully enjoy my richly faceted cursing. And I just want to say to all the MAGA boys & girls who have expressed such a fascination with my powerful masculinity, that I can’t take even one squirt of credit for it - all glory and praise for my virility has to be credited to Mother Nature! But please be aware that when you appear so focused on my Alpha qualities that onlookers are prone to suspect “the lady doth protest too much, methinks”, which was something penned a fellow named Shakespeare. Uncensored version now streaming on all platforms: Uncensored version available on YouTube:

Friends, I am simply gobsmacked at the fulsome love and positivity for my latest song, so I have posted it on your favoritest music channel, with an ADDITIONAL BONUS LYRIC, so that probably means…awards. I’m also putting a new version of the video on YouTube without any bleeps so you can fully enjoy my richly faceted cursing. And I just want to say to all the MAGA boys & girls who have expressed such a fascination with my powerful masculinity, that I can’t take even one squirt of credit for it - all glory and praise for my virility has to be credited to Mother Nature! But please be aware that when you appear so focused on my Alpha qualities that onlookers are prone to suspect “the lady doth protest too much, methinks”, which was something penned a fellow named Shakespeare. Uncensored version now streaming on all platforms: Uncensored version available on YouTube:

276,662 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Friends, it’s time for more sexy soil talk. I’m keen for you to stop and think about this: regenerative farming is key to fixing food nutrition and climate change. There’s no better place to start than with nurturing our soil. Hit the link in NRDC 🌎🏡’s bio to see how you can help.

Friends, it’s time for more sexy soil talk. I’m keen for you to stop and think about this: regenerative farming is key to fixing food nutrition and climate change. There’s no better place to start than with nurturing our soil. Hit the link in NRDC 🌎🏡’s bio to see how you can help.

370,582 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

Come on out for a very gratifying evening. I will bring you to completion, woodworking-wise! Wait. What I meant was I will apply a smooth finish. Wait.

Come on out for a very gratifying evening. I will bring you to completion, woodworking-wise! Wait. What I meant was I will apply a smooth finish. Wait.

63,472 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

Don’t give the lazy gift of factory-made crap this year — give the gifts of affection and creativity, hand-hewn by my book elves and my woodshop elves, or better yet, by your loving self! Get your copy of LITTLE WOODCHUCKS :

Don’t give the lazy gift of factory-made crap this year — give the gifts of affection and creativity, hand-hewn by my book elves and my woodshop elves, or better yet, by your loving self! Get your copy of LITTLE WOODCHUCKS :

34,225 Aufrufe • vor 7 Monaten

Your world will get bigger and brighter. THE LIFE OF CHUCK. From the hearts and souls of Mike Flanagan and Stephen King. In Select Cities 6.6, Everywhere 6.13.

Your world will get bigger and brighter. THE LIFE OF CHUCK. From the hearts and souls of Mike Flanagan and Stephen King. In Select Cities 6.6, Everywhere 6.13.

57,844 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Please check my recent interview with CBS News at Offerman Woodshop where we talk about Would Works - an amazing nonprofit in Los Angeles that teaches woodworking skills & practical training to Angelenos facing barriers to employment, housing insecurity and mental or physical health challenges. Consider making a donation to Would Works at:

Please check my recent interview with CBS News at Offerman Woodshop where we talk about Would Works - an amazing nonprofit in Los Angeles that teaches woodworking skills & practical training to Angelenos facing barriers to employment, housing insecurity and mental or physical health challenges. Consider making a donation to Would Works at:

49,119 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Holy Cattails, Pigtails and half-blind Dovetails, my Diminutive and Humongous Woodchucks, your eponymous new book LITTLE WOODCHUCKS is published TODAY! Written by my friend Lee and myself, this book is guaranteed to keep you from becoming a robot! Act now!

Holy Cattails, Pigtails and half-blind Dovetails, my Diminutive and Humongous Woodchucks, your eponymous new book LITTLE WOODCHUCKS is published TODAY! Written by my friend Lee and myself, this book is guaranteed to keep you from becoming a robot! Act now!

29,063 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten

Me trying to gently insert a butt plug joke into my cow monologue

Me trying to gently insert a butt plug joke into my cow monologue

21,047 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

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