Tim Vine

@RealTimVine • 298,872 subscribers

Comedian. Plastic Elvis. https://t.co/V1C4agGVpJ https://t.co/qwcXHSNiwa

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Live Cam

Tim Vine

Shorts

Someone told me it’s possible to locate a dry spot in the centre of a sprinkler. It’s not.

It’s happened! Someone is building a nest in my repositioned Christmas wreath (with central nesting box.) Can anyone tell me what type of bird this is?

Yeh alright I’ll do my Murray Hamilton impression.

I shouldn’t let it get to me but few things annoy me more than when someone does this on The Chase.

So my New Year’s Eve hit three bulls in succession challenge failed. This was the closest I got. There’s always next year.

On a day as hot as today if you see a fridge at the end of someone’s drive you’re going to check at least.

You can’t just have any old idiot hosting a gameshow.

My submission for next year’s Chelsea flower show. Rewilded garden plus central walkway.

It makes me smile that Ted Rogers probably would have had to practise doing that 3,2,1 thing on his own to get good at it. Met him once. A charming man.

I don’t whether it’s deliberate or accidentally loud air conditioning, but walking down the corridor of The Titanic Hotel in Liverpool there’s a low hum as though the ship’s engine can be heard as it makes its way towards the you know what. Very atmospheric.

Flashing knee caps. #PROPSINEVERUSED

A very Happy New Year.

Had a fantastic time in Austria last week at The Altitude comedy festival. Loved it.

I’ve made a start.

I like songs like this.

I don’t think I’ve ever fully appreciated how tall masts can be.

Dear Nature experts, Why is this caterpillar swinging around under a Willow Tree?

Trash talk.

As the big boxing event gets closer it’s getting more serious.

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I did it. With about 15 minutes to spare I think. The hand mirror split screen idea could catch on I reckon. Unless you want to go for 18s. Happy New Year everyone! #Onehour180challenge

My England World Cup Song. This could be out of date in two weeks. Listen while it’s still relevant! Come on England. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿#theWorldCup

Highlights of my appearance on The Weakest Link. Since filming it I have often used it to encourage my 85 year old Mum if she forgets something. I say “I wouldn’t worry about it Mum. I’m 57 and I don’t know what a carrot is”. Sally Lindsay Phil Tufnell Kerry Katona

Here we go! One more screening of my Plastic Elvis film and it’s in Manchester. Monday February 9th at 6pm at the Home Cinema followed by a Q&amp;A with me. I’ll try and think of some answers in advance. Hopefully they’ll match the questions.

An exciting evening ahead.

Tickets here! :

RIP to Val Kilmer who played the lead in my favourite comedy film called ‘TOP SECRET’ and he was brilliant in it. Here’s a bit of the trailer..

Possibly something for a pro to use.. Michael Van Gerwen Luke Littler Luke Humphries MBE WAYNE MARDLE PDC Darts John Part

Heeeey!! My Brand new stand up show BREEEEP! is AVAILABLE NOW! As a download on Amazon Prime, Apple TV and Sky Store. And as a physical object DVD thing from

I always like it when this happens on the News.

Newcastle! I’ll be with you. May 7th 7.30pm Tyneside Cinema.

Massive news viewers!

Rocker ‘Brella Fella. Saturday August 30th .

Sir John Gielgud reciting my short poem: ‘We owe it all to mothers’.

🎶Coming soon 🎶 The Soundtrack Album for Rocker ‘Brella Fella will be available for you to listen to on Spotify. 26 songs from the film. Plus one bonus track. So that’s……wait a minute…..27 songs!!!

Brighton Friday May 8th 7.30pm. Rocker ‘Brella Fella screening plus Q&amp;A with me. Tickets here:

Exciting physical news!! You can Pre-order my brand new stand up DVD Breeeep! from HMV. Right now! Right here! A physical object! Released on November 18th.

Busy old day.

It’s time for this again. X

Here we go! One more screening of my Plastic Elvis film and it’s in Manchester. Monday February 9th at 6pm at the Home Cinema followed by a Q&A with me. I’ll try and think of some answers in advance. Hopefully they’ll match the questions.

Brighton Friday May 8th 7.30pm. Rocker ‘Brella Fella screening plus Q&A with me. Tickets here: