00 Days 00 Hours 00 Mins & 52 Seconds since last near miss. Parody.
Shorts
Employee of the month goes to Brian from our Balloon Club! Caught his wife on the joystick of our Flight School Instructor, yet he still came to work. You'd never have known. Top Lad. 🏆
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Don't worry about Jet fuel running low this Summer folks, Benny in Maintenance has already cracked it. Flight times might be slightly longer.
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Slight delay on the 16:20 to Alicante due to a fuel leak. Shouldn't be long, Wayne reckons it'll be sorted in a few minutes using our high tech cleaning equipment. He might need to stop for a cigarette break though.
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Just majestic. A triple salchow followed by a camel spin then an upright double. That's an easy 9.5 in the singles event and I can't wait to see him compete in the pairs.
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Following the tariff model, we've found a fantastic way to make aircraft more aerodynamic so they can fly faster and use less fuel. #Yuge #Chynah
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We managed to skirt around the Middle East fuel shortage for Jeff Bezos. We supplemented his last order with fat from our McDonald's deep fryer. He'll never know.
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Very honoured to have the Boeing Dreamlifter in for a tyre change today. Oh ffs...
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Super. A couple of American tourists board a private plane for a quick hop across the channel to France. Oh ffs…
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A lot of people ask us 'is it safe to land in fog?' Of course, with modern instruments and two qualified pilot's, it's really not a probPULL UP PULL UP FOR F**K'S SAKE...
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My guess is that Bob from Freight does have some regrets.
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Flying 1st Class? Then why not take advantage of our complimentary valet parking? Simply drink as much free alcohol as you want, then have a go at parking an economy passenger's car.
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Our sniffer dogs do more than patrol the terminal, they also check the outfield of the airport to make sur...oh ffs
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Told the new trainee that the rope was a pull start. He's been trying to fire up an A320 for the last 40 minutes. Bless.
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Forget the 'Miracle of the Hudson.' This is the 'fu*k up in Folkestone.'
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Just finished a film for our shareholder presentation! After the bit on record profits and enormous management bonuses, this shows what we're giving staff.
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Want to go on Concorde? Well you still can. We're offering once in a lifetime return trips from the maintenance shed to the WH Smith in Terminal 1. Fares start from only £5,900. Book early to avoid disappointment.
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Can you spot the mechanical issue? If you said the engine is running a little rich, you should apply for a job in our maintenance department.
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My phone's just made one of those 'memory' photo albums. Filling up here.