Tortured Phillies Fan. Art Collector . Miller Maestro. Amex Gold Authority. Handicap Stall Inspector. Kay Adams Lover. 7.9 HC . DM for Business Inquiries
Shorts
When your hinge date asks you who you voted for in the last election and you answer honestly
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There only two kinds of golfers and this video explains them in 10 seconds
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Imagine being the dad of the family that hired her, coming home from the bar and seeing her on the couch
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Clocked into work at 8 am Clocked out of work at 11:05 am Walking to liquor store now Tee time at 12:30 pm Happy hour with at 5pm Meeting the boys at the bar at 8pm Bag in my pocket Phillies on at 6:45 pm Parlays are locked in Vibes are immaculate Let’s have a weekend
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I’m crashing every wedding possible until I find a girl exactly like this
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Me drinking that pool water
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Walking into work not listening to a single word anyone says to me
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Looking under your tree and seeing no 5'2" blondes with doodle tattoos and an attitude problem
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Fuck it. They wanna show? They got it
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Me after the first sip of a frosty miller lite
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Work wife just told me she thinks her boyfriend is going to propose on Christmas
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Ex girlfriend posted her new boyfriend on her instagram story and looks happy