Lady Lulu Bell

Chapter One of my journey out of the Mormon church and toward myself began the first time I went through the Mormon temple. I have never in my life been so shaken. It felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. I had been a faithful Mormon girl my entire life. I was about to marry my high school sweetheart. I had grown up knowing exactly how my story was supposed to go. The temple was supposed to be one of the most sacred, beautiful, spiritual experiences of my life. But when I finally went through, I didn’t feel peace. I didn’t feel joy. I felt overwhelmed. Confused. Scared. I had never been one to rock the boat. I followed the rules. I did what was expected of me. I trusted the path that had been laid out for my life. So to find myself fighting an almost irresistible urge to flee, just as I was preparing to get married, was absolutely shattering. But I didn’t flee. I did what I had been taught my entire life to do. I endured to the end. But something in me had changed. For the first time, the world I had been taught to believe in didn’t match the world I was experiencing. And once I recognized that disconnect, I couldn’t simply pretend it wasn’t there. That experience would eventually lead me to leave the Mormon church and begin questioning everything I thought I knew about the world, my beliefs, my values, and, perhaps most importantly, who I truly was beneath all those expectations. That journey isn’t over yet. But my damn, has it been a roller coaster. And somehow, through all the uncertainty, heartbreak, and rebuilding, I’ve found more of myself than I ever knew was there. #exmormon #findingyourself #ladylulu #glowup #exmo