mdtlion
@mdtlion • 6,745 subscribers
Flipping the narrative
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Paid $50 a Slap… She Asked for $200,000. MELBOURNE — In a heartwarming display of mutual respect, Sydney Swans star Isaac Heeney allegedly negotiated a transparent cash-for-contact arrangement with professional content creator Ellie Naughty at 4am in a Melbourne hotel room. Sources confirm the transaction was allegedly conducted with full enthusiastic consent and excellent customer service until the money ran out. The players have since been stood down for the season, proving once again that the real victim here is the Swans’ premiership window. Sydney Swans Fox Footy AFL
mdtlion361,150 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Who Decides Harm? “I Guess… Me.” CANBERRA — Digital Duty of Care™ applies to all online services. Except news sites. Except when it does. Sorry. Asked what risk a news site is offering its viewers, Comrade Wells declined the premise. Asked who defines a new serious harm, she did not. She does. On advice from the eSafety Commissar. Instruments later. Kids first. The algorithm, she has explained, is overwhelming public institutions. The institutions have taken the feed. This is not content. This is systems. This is not censorship. Well, we’ve changed our position. News24 Australia Anika Wells MP Anthony Albanese ABC News
mdtlion138,578 Aufrufe • vor 17 Tagen
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Tanya Couldn’t Name ONE Worker. Then Albo Said This… 😱 SYDNEY — Canberra has hailed a new era of Lived Truth™ after Dear Leader Albanese clarified he did not fall off a stage. He negotiated with it. Gravity, aides said, had become unnecessarily binary. Comrade Tanya Plibersek then confirmed Labor is overflowing with blue-collar labourers. She simply could not name one on the front bench. Naming, she implied, is divisive. “Labourer” may now be a harmful category. “Plenty of very good people” is safer. It cannot be fact-checked. If the Prime Minister says he did not fall, the footage is merely one lived perspective. If power prices did not fall $275, cheaper can still be a feeling. “No plans” can become “we’ve changed our position” without anyone having moved… provided the calendar is treated as hate speech. They lie. They are liars. When you are a liar it is very hard to become an Unliar™. There is nothing you can believe except the end card… FIRE THE LIAR. 🧡💀 Anthony Albanese Pauline Hanson 🇦🇺 Barnaby Joyce Tanya Plibersek nat barr News24 Australia 7NEWS Australia ABC News Australian Labor One Nation Australia
mdtlion129,609 Aufrufe • vor 26 Tagen
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: ONE RULE FOR CANBERRA. ANOTHER FOR YOU. Treasurer Jim Chalmers has bravely defended Australia’s world-leading retirement system by warning that letting workers touch 3% of their own deferred wages would “end superannuation as we know it.” Fortunately, civilisation has already been saved. Since 2017, political staffers have been able to take 3.4% of their super as a fortnightly cash allowance under the Super Flexibility Exemption™. Experts say this is completely different, because Canberra staff are not “workers.” They are Stakeholders™. Their cost-of-living crisis is called hospitality. Yours is called greed. One rule for Canberra. Another for you. Please clap. 👏 🫶💀 7NEWS Australia 9News Australia ABC News News24 Australia Anthony Albanese
mdtlion68,262 Aufrufe • vor 16 Tagen
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Brave Anti-Racist Has No Intention of Assimilating. Our ABC Called It Leadership. SYDNEY — We should thank Nyadol Nyuon. She has completed the most generous act a radical-left, anti-white, anti-Australia activist can perform: the Slow and Certain™ departure. For years she carried our shame. White Culture™ was a hallucination. “Anglo-Celtic” was a dog whistle. People from those shitholes countries™ were only ever in the news because of media racism. The ABC, our unofficial Department of Framing, gave her the chair so ordinary viewers could be improved. Then she told the former Deputy Prime Minister she has no intention of assimilating. The studio did not collapse. The lights stayed on. Someone in Ultimo filed it under “powerful.” Taxpayers, in a fit of civic love, had already handed her an $800,000 workplace project. She delivered the Perfect Failure™. It failed in all the ways. That is not mismanagement. That is decolonial pedagogy. Victoria Police said aggressive. She said paranoia framing. The South Sudanese crime wave said “media narrative.” Gach’s warrant said “please call Crime Stoppers.” She told the panel no particular group is especially criminal. The wanted poster disagreed. We built a country so eager to be kind it funded its own insult, then filmed the goodbye. ABC News John Anderson AC Barnaby Joyce Anne Aly Victoria Police Avi Yemini
mdtlion37,753 Aufrufe • vor 11 Tagen
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Australian tourist’s self-defence claim involves a dead 17-year-old and a suitcase strapped to a scooter PATTAYA — In what experts are already calling the greatest act of self-defence since the invention of the “she pulled a knife” defence, an Australian man has been charged with murder after a 17-year-old girl supposedly threatened him over $20. Rather than simply walking away, the man invented the “Body In A Bag Moped Delivery System™” and was shocked when Thai police failed to give him a medal. He now faces lethal injection for his innovative approach to conflict resolution. 7NEWS Australia
mdtlion235,337 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Albo’s $1m Wagyu Dinner That Definitely Didn’t Happen ADELAIDE — In a stunning display of Transparency™, Comrade Albanese spent an entire soft-focus ABC interview refusing to confirm he attended a private Point Piper dinner hosted by the son of a Chinese high-roller currently entangled with the Tax Office. When asked about the $1 million pledge, the father’s alleged money-funnelling, or why former Premier Dan Andrews was spotted the next morning at the Lee family’s Terrey Hills golf club, Albo simply repeated the sacred mantra: “I attend lots of functions.” Meanwhile the same regime that shrieked about Gina Rinehart buying access for One Nation somehow sees nothing wrong with Wagyu eye fillet and finger-lime ceviche in a $40 million harbourside mansion. Critics fail to appreciate the sophisticated fundraising model that delivered premium Wagyu eye fillet to the people’s champion. The ABC, as always, asked the tough questions with the appropriate level of respect. The revolution is safe. ABC News Anthony Albanese David Speers Dan Andrews
mdtlion117,704 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Brave Our ABC™ Holds State Funeral After Voters Accidentally Use Democracy SYDNEY — Thank God for Our ABC. Without their trembling composure, ordinary Australians might have thought a by-election was just a by-election. Instead the nation received a trauma-informed broadcast about the death of decency, safety, and the correct political party. Presenters heroically centred Labor’s feelings while the orange people celebrated in the background like uninvited extras. This is not bias. This is care™. If democracy hurts this much on air, it must be working. ABC News One Nation Australia Roger Cook Anthony Albanese Pauline Hanson 🇦🇺
mdtlion44,709 Aufrufe • vor 27 Tagen
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Five Carpenters Walk Into a Hotel. The Premiership Walks Out. 🏆 MELBOURNE — In a masterclass of tradie negotiation, five Sydney Swans players allegedly told two adult entertainers™ they were humble carpenters to lock in a reduced rate. One of the women has now clarified she doesn’t care about money at all… she only wants justice. The carpenters have been stood down for the rest of the season for bringing the wrong tools to the job. The culture is healing. 🫶💀 9News Australia Sydney Swans Fox Footy AFL
mdtlion51,960 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Said “Shall We Kill These C*nts?” Then He Did. MELBOURNE — In a stunning win for progressive justice, Jordan Kenyon… a brave young man living with complex trauma and substance-use challenges… was forced by systemic oppression into a fatal collision after the state cruelly fitted him with an ankle bracelet. His cocktail of GHB and alcohol was a cry for help. Mia Rossiter’s family must now do the hard work of unpacking their privilege and recognising that Kenyon is the true survivor of a carceral system that never understood him. Comrade Jacinta’s “tough new bail laws”™ remain the gold standard in evidence-based public safety. 7NEWS Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor
mdtlion82,278 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
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🚨 BREAKING: Comrade Wells Declares Graphic Anal Fantasy “Nuanced” and Fully Charter-Compliant™ BRISBANE — We should thank Comrade Wells. She has bravely explained that the ABC’s decision to platform a detailed anal-execution fantasy against Gina Rinehart was simply “nuance” in action. Calling for an apology would have been vulgar. Respecting editorial independence is the higher path. The panel laughed. The Charter was upheld. Kim Williams called it a regrettable error. Everything is working exactly as designed. ABC News News24 Australia Anika Wells MP
mdtlion70,937 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
🚨BREAKING NEWS: African Youth Stabbed to Death by Middle Eastern Pack in Comrade Allan’s Victoria MELBOURNE — In a powerful demonstration of decolonised justice practices, a 15-year-old African youth participated in a vibrant multicultural encounter with a Middle Eastern youth gang in Craigieburn last night. The boy unfortunately did not survive the deeply enriching experience outside the medical centre. Comrade Jacinta’s transformative bail and sentencing reforms continue to create space for these important expressions of lived experience. Labor’s inclusive migration framework ensures that diverse communities can bring their authentic conflict resolution traditions into Australian suburbs, challenging the colonial carceral state while the judiciary prioritises healing over outdated notions of accountability. Another triumph for equity and inclusion. Jacinta thanks all participants for their service to equity. Diversity is our strength™. 9News Melbourne Victorian Labor Victoria Police
mdtlion82,478 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Chairman Albo Changed His Position. Now He Wants to Change Yours. CANBERRA — In a historic act of User Empowerment™, Chairman Albo announced that Big Tech must protect Australians from the gravest threat since industrialised slaughter: an algorithm that shows you things you did not personally follow. You may now choose the algorithm, or the algorithm the state prefers you to choose. That is My Feed, My Way™. Adults keep “choice.” Children keep six official feelings. The Minister keeps a button marked new harms. Comrade Holdsworth briefed the war cabinet. Delay the Digital Duty of Care™ and the atrocities will be “equivalent to the atrocities that occurred through World War II.” If you still want a For You page, you are no longer a user. You are an atrocity-adjacent stakeholder. If that comparison feels large, report your distress to the eSafety Commissar, a wellbeing concierge with a $109 million attitude. Comrade Wells was clear: this is not censorship. It is Safety by Design™. This is not 1984. 1984 did not have a pop-up asking whether you consent to your own feed. We have changed our position. That is called listening. Clap. Goodwill is now a compliance product. ABC News Anthony Albanese Anika Wells MP Julie Inman Grant eSafety Commissioner News24 Australia
mdtlion20,411 Aufrufe • vor 18 Tagen
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: “Lift Up People” Slogan Now Official Soundtrack to Street Stabbing MELBOURNE — In a masterclass of timing, Premier Carroll’s inspiring “we will lift up people… fulfill their dreams” rhetoric played over the latest Malvern Road enrichment event: a 50-year-old man left critical with serious head wounds after a midnight beating and stabbing. A known woman is in custody. Victorian Labor’s Marxist soft-on-crime laboratory has once again delivered textbook results… maximum empathy, minimum deterrence, and another quiet street turned into a live demonstration zone. Same same dreams. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne Ben Carroll
mdtlion34,509 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Our ABC bravely protects Australia from the terrifying idea of having one shared culture ULTIMO — In what can only be described as a stunning display of journalistic courage, Sarah Ferguson interrogated Barnaby Joyce over whether Australia should continue importing people faster than it can house, hospitalise, or culturally absorb. She also made it clear that any discussion of screening arrivals from unstable regions or questioning whether all belief systems are equally compatible with Australian values is now officially considered problematic. The national interest was clearly in safe hands. 🫶🧡 ABC News Sarah Ferguson Barnaby Joyce
mdtlion63,307 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: She Said Voters Don’t Trust Her. Then She Asked for the Delete Key. CANBERRA — Chairman Albo’s Digital Duty of Care™ is simple. Adults get a pop-up. Children get six official feelings. The Minister gets a button marked harmful conduct. You may choose the algorithm, or the algorithm chosen for you. Comrade Wells identified the emergency: a woman at a mobile office asked a question and then failed to accept the answer. Officials named the suspect. The timeline. Translation: the institutions are fine. The public is over-informed. Cabinet has classified facial expression as harmful conduct. On Today, Comrade McCarthy arrived with three approved nouns: kids, choice, parents. Canavan used a fourth… power… and the nouns collapsed. She recommended not answering Matt. The host offered to finish the sentence off-air. World-Leading™ transparency. It is not censorship. Censorship answered the question. This is not 1984. 1984 did not have a breakfast panel. 9News Australia ABC News News24 Australia Senator Matt Canavan Malarndirri McCarthy Anthony Albanese Anika Wells MP Julie Inman Grant eSafety Commissioner
mdtlion13,729 Aufrufe • vor 17 Tagen
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Jacinta’s Tough Bail Laws™ Just Chopped Another Arm Off MELBOURNE — In a stunning victory for equity, young people with extensive lived experience and currently on bail have begun actively redistributing limbs and phones across Elizabeth and Flinders Streets. This is what real systemic change looks like. Police know their names. Courts know their records. Yet the progressive regime correctly refuses to let outdated concepts like “accountability” interrupt their important community work under Restorative Justice™ and “second chances.” Local traders report the area is now a vibrant open-air marketplace for stolen goods, underage prostitution and casual limb removal. Traders calling it a “wretched hive” simply fail to understand trauma-informed urban renewal. Dear Leader Allan remains “encouraged” by the data. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne 10 News Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor
mdtlion38,078 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: My Feed, My Way™ Not Found in Bill. Minister Found Instead. CANBERRA — Digital Duty of Care™ remains a safety product. Adults get illegal. Children get six feelings. Comrade Wells gets any new category of harm. The Coalition called it a blank cheque. She called that a distortion. News websites are not captured. Except the draft forgot to carve them out. Parents are in control. Except the eKaren™ may demand documents from parents. And children. Chairman Albo says this is not about giving her power. The instrument says otherwise. This is not censorship. This is scrambling. Well, we’ve changed our position. ABC News News24 Australia 9News Australia Anika Wells MP Anthony Albanese Julie Inman Grant eSafety Commissioner Angus Taylor MP Senator Sarah Henderson Senator Matt Canavan
mdtlion11,768 Aufrufe • vor 16 Tagen
🚨BREAKING NEWS: The Moment Conroy’s Diplomatic Mask Slipped Speaking on ABC’s Insiders, Comrade Conroy delivered a masterclass in responsible statecraft, calmly explaining why selling uranium to a non-NPT country is actually a sign of profound strategic maturity. He assured viewers that India’s refusal to sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty was, in fact, further proof of their trustworthiness. Patricia Karvelas appeared briefly lost for words as the Minister outlined how years of careful bipartisan work had produced safeguards so robust that any future consequences would clearly be India’s problem. The uranium, he noted, comes with a sternly worded letter and Australia’s best wishes. Peace in our time, secured through paperwork and good vibes. ABC News Pat Conroy MP Patricia Karvelas
mdtlion42,508 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten