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Rodney Dangerfield

@RodneyNoRespect • 49,743 subscribers

Official Twitter account of the late great comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield, known for his iconic line “I don’t get no respect!”.

Shorts

“Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes till somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.”

“Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes till somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.”

119,545 Aufrufe

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“I didn’t know you wanted to get involved in the discussion, Mr. Helper.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to get involved in the discussion, Mr. Helper.”

Rodney Dangerfield

1,533,747 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

“I tell ya, life isn’t easy. Today’s been a terrible day. I got up this morning, picked up my shirt, a button fell off. Picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.”

“I tell ya, life isn’t easy. Today’s been a terrible day. I got up this morning, picked up my shirt, a button fell off. Picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.”

Rodney Dangerfield

1,441,677 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Remembering Rodney’s damsel in distress, Valerie Perrine. (September 3, 1943 – March 23, 2026)

Remembering Rodney’s damsel in distress, Valerie Perrine. (September 3, 1943 – March 23, 2026)

Rodney Dangerfield

224,726 Aufrufe • vor 7 Monaten

“I tell ya, I’m lucky I made it here tonight. This afternoon I got tied up. I went to see our family doctor. He’s tough, you know? He told me, if I keep smoking, I’ll take 10 years off my life. If I keep drinking, another 10 years off my life. And if I don’t pay him his bill, I’ll be dead by tomorrow.”

“I tell ya, I’m lucky I made it here tonight. This afternoon I got tied up. I went to see our family doctor. He’s tough, you know? He told me, if I keep smoking, I’ll take 10 years off my life. If I keep drinking, another 10 years off my life. And if I don’t pay him his bill, I’ll be dead by tomorrow.”

Rodney Dangerfield

71,360 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

“No respect at all. When I was a kid, Halloween, my old man dressed me as a hydrant. Took me to the dog show.”

“No respect at all. When I was a kid, Halloween, my old man dressed me as a hydrant. Took me to the dog show.”

Rodney Dangerfield

146,151 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

“With my wife, I got no sex life either. I mean the other night I told her, ‘Don’t laugh behind my back.’ She said, ‘I won't. The funny stuff’s on the other side.’”

“With my wife, I got no sex life either. I mean the other night I told her, ‘Don’t laugh behind my back.’ She said, ‘I won't. The funny stuff’s on the other side.’”

Rodney Dangerfield

113,754 Aufrufe • vor 10 Monaten

“I mean it, kids today they got it too good. When I was a kid it was different, I had it rough. Christmas I got batteries, toys not included.”

“I mean it, kids today they got it too good. When I was a kid it was different, I had it rough. Christmas I got batteries, toys not included.”

Rodney Dangerfield

87,024 Aufrufe • vor 10 Monaten

“My dog, he started trouble again. He went over to the front door, he started to bark. I went over, I opened the front door. The dog didn’t want to go out, he wanted me to leave.”

“My dog, he started trouble again. He went over to the front door, he started to bark. I went over, I opened the front door. The dog didn’t want to go out, he wanted me to leave.”

Rodney Dangerfield

15,867 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

“Things are going really good for me. I just finished my first book. Now I'm gonna read another one.”

“Things are going really good for me. I just finished my first book. Now I'm gonna read another one.”

Rodney Dangerfield

59,616 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

“I tell ya, when I was a kid I was ugly too. I told my old man he never took me to the zoo. He said, ‘If they want you, they’ll come and get you.’”

“I tell ya, when I was a kid I was ugly too. I told my old man he never took me to the zoo. He said, ‘If they want you, they’ll come and get you.’”

Rodney Dangerfield

56,546 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten

“On my block, the most important thing was to be able to take it. I remember the guys who could take it. Guys like Moose, Ox, Bull, The Bear. I mean these guys were animals.”

“On my block, the most important thing was to be able to take it. I remember the guys who could take it. Guys like Moose, Ox, Bull, The Bear. I mean these guys were animals.”

Rodney Dangerfield

31,721 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

“Everybody’s looking for love though, deep love. A lifetime of deep love. I’m looking for a shallow half hour.”

“Everybody’s looking for love though, deep love. A lifetime of deep love. I’m looking for a shallow half hour.”

Rodney Dangerfield

37,048 Aufrufe • vor 7 Monaten

“I tell ya, you talk to people today you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know who to believe. Girls say things like, ‘It’s all right if a man is older than a woman, age makes no difference. Looks is not important. Money means nothing.’ That’s what they say, but I never met a girl yet who fell in love with an old, ugly man who’s broke.”

“I tell ya, you talk to people today you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know who to believe. Girls say things like, ‘It’s all right if a man is older than a woman, age makes no difference. Looks is not important. Money means nothing.’ That’s what they say, but I never met a girl yet who fell in love with an old, ugly man who’s broke.”

Rodney Dangerfield

11,353 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

“People say to me, ‘How did you get a name like Rodney Dangerfield?’ I’ll tell you what happened.”

“People say to me, ‘How did you get a name like Rodney Dangerfield?’ I’ll tell you what happened.”

Rodney Dangerfield

12,321 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

“I tell ya, I’m all right now, but last week I was in rough shape, you know? Last week I bought a new book, 100 Ways to Make Love. I ended up in traction, it was a misprint.”

“I tell ya, I’m all right now, but last week I was in rough shape, you know? Last week I bought a new book, 100 Ways to Make Love. I ended up in traction, it was a misprint.”

Rodney Dangerfield

15,755 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

Rodney won the Grammy for Best Comedy Recording in 1981. He also presented the award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and had his fellow presenter laughing hysterically.

Rodney won the Grammy for Best Comedy Recording in 1981. He also presented the award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and had his fellow presenter laughing hysterically.

Rodney Dangerfield

34,405 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

When Eddie met Rodney. (🎬: W Magazine)

When Eddie met Rodney. (🎬: W Magazine)

Rodney Dangerfield

21,683 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten

Rodney couldn’t get anyone to go on vacation with him... so he took his dog.

Rodney couldn’t get anyone to go on vacation with him... so he took his dog.

Rodney Dangerfield

12,851 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten