Seth Simons

@sasimons • 18,389 subscribers

I write Humorism, a newsletter about money and power in the comedy industry. Email me: [email protected]

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Seth Simons

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Mark Normand on Shane Gillis's "thank god she's good-looking because that bitch is not funny" line about Teyana Taylor at the Hart roast: "I spit my drink out… this fat doughy guy is like, 'I get to finally trash this beautiful A-list actress.' And he was right—she sucked!"

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Chris D'Elia says his manager prematurely committed him to the TPUSA event, whines about the backlash, says he'd do anything for a paycheck, even the Riyadh Comedy Festival, and complains about comics "who were head of the MeToo movement" but did the Riyadh Comedy Festival

via queen[dot]caitlyn0 on TikTok

here's Big Jay Oakerson's response to DL Hughley calling him a Nazi: "Be funny, fuck face. I'm tired of watching Black guys in fucking Django hats fucking tell me how the world works and let me know that I'm a Nazi."

Mark Normand on his new special: "I hit every group. I feel like everybody does trans jokes; I do trans, Mexican, Black, gay, Muslim, everyone. Equal opportunity. I'm inclusive… I'm writing jokes that I would want to hear or my friends growing up would want to hear"

Theo Von to Catholic bishop Robert Barron: "The Israel that we see that gets talked about in the Bible, is it the same as the government of Israel that's running the country that's there now?

Here's Kill Tony regular Ari Matti telling a story about "two big Black bitches" returning some clothes at a Nike outlet. The punchline? "Before moving to America I wasn't a racist, but after two years of living here, I'm beginning to see some patterns."

here's secret lib Shane Gillis on Abdul El-Sayed: "This is gonna be the gayest revolution in the history of all revolutions… I didn't know anything about him and then I saw that video and I was like, fuck that guy."

the New York Comedy Festival just announced this guy as a headliner

🚨 comedian-on-comedian violence… Dave Smith says Shane Gillis was wrong to promote socialized healthcare on Rogan. "Go talk to people in countries where there's universal healthcare, they have the exact same problems with healthcare that Mao's China had with food."

here's Shane Gillis talking about what a great time he had at the White House UFC event, where he says he was sitting with the troops who kidnapped Maduro

Dave Smith discusses anti-white racism with the podcaster Planet Tyrus. "At the height of slavery in America, most white people didn't own slaves… there were also free Black men who owned slaves. It's just a little more complicated than people want to make it out to be."

Theo Von: "I like to relate different things, like behaviors to different ethnicities." thank you for putting that on camera

great Grace Helbig video criticizing Whitney Cummings, who complained on Threads the other day that Miss Rachel talks to kids "like they're deaf morons"

more bangers from Anthony Jeselnik: "I try to curate my fan base so that the kind of people who would leave shitty comments aren't buying tickets to my shows… I know there are people who make their living catering to those people, and I hate them all."

Tim Dillon says Trump's second term is "the greatest con in history" and that one could not have expected any of it after his first term, when he "governed kind of like a nineties liberal"

this is crazy: on Maury Povich's podcast, Mark Normand casually admits he lied when he said Netflix told him to take a racist joke out of his podcast, and he told them he'd do it if they admitted Muslims are dangerous

Louis CK has a new special on Netflix today, his first on the platform since he confessed to serial sexual harassment nine years ago. in April, the comedian Megan Gailey said on Francesca Fiorentini's podcast that "Louis is still doing what Louis was doing."

unreal bit on Theo Von's podcast today where Dave Smith says there's a lot of nuance to bigotry, complains about the great replacement, and Theo agrees that he's sick of anti-white racism

here's secret libs Matt and Shane mocking the guy ICE harassed after he compared the former acting director to a Nazi. "It's like, okay man, that's such a crazy parallel." "We don't even know his name. He's not gonna be the head of the fucking SS in Auschwitz."

here's Andrew Schulz on Lupita Nyong'o and Eliot Page's casting in The Odyssey: "With Harry Potter, these characters are made up, so they could be whatever they want. Whereas Helen of Troy is allegedly based on a true person."