Stansaid Airport

@StansaidAirport • 56,473 subscribers

00 Days 00 Hours 00 Mins & 52 Seconds since last near miss. Parody.

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Stansaid Airport

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The model aircraft club next door is a huge success. Almost as successful as our own model surface to air missile club.

Fact: The Airbus A320 is a dual fuel aircraft and is very popular in third world countries. The front boiler runs on coal, heating water to produce steam that drives the turbine engines.

A lot of people ask us 'is it safe to land in fog?' Of course, with modern instruments and two qualified pilot's, it's really not a probPULL UP PULL UP FOR F**K'S SAKE...

Slight delay on the 16:10 to Alicante. The pilot accidently brought his wife's Ford Fiesta keys to work. He's got in the window using a coat hangar and the plan is to give it a push, then drop the clutch in 2nd gear to get it going.

Absolutely delighted to welcome the launch of a new low cost carrier to the airport today!

Damn. An American tourist has just sat down at the back of this plane. Delays.

Honestly, the Civil Aviation Authority are so picky. Apparently you're supposed to 'close' a runway when you do repairs. So many rules, how are we supposed to know everything?

As part of our Summer Camp programme, we landed a helicopter on our local school’s roof so the young ones could see up close how...oh ffs.

Apologies about the long lines at security. The sniffer dogs are late starting this morning, but I'm told they'll be at work soon.

Slight delay on the 16:20 to Alicante due to a fuel leak. Shouldn't be long, Wayne reckons it'll be sorted in a few minutes using our high tech cleaning equipment. He might need to stop for a cigarette break though.

The school holidays have started and so have our Summer Camps! The inflatable slides seem to have gone down really well with the young ones.

Some criminals tried to break in last night. It was only thwarted thanks to some superb work by the same criminals.

Employee of the month goes to Brian from our Balloon Club! Caught his wife on the joystick of our Flight School Instructor, yet he still came to work. You'd never have known. Top Lad. 🏆

Just majestic. A triple salchow followed by a camel spin then an upright double. That's an easy 9.5 in the singles event and I can't wait to see him compete in the pairs.

Don't worry about Jet fuel running low this Summer folks, Benny in Maintenance has already cracked it. Flight times might be slightly longer.

Very honoured to have the Boeing Dreamlifter in for a tyre change today. Oh ffs...

Do you have a child travelling alone? Don't worry, our Concierge service will look after them like it’s one of their own.

Super. A couple of American tourists board a private plane for a quick hop across the channel to France. Oh ffs…

The new Valet parker seems to be fitting in well.

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Employee of the month goes to Kenny in Property maintenance! He found out his wife was having an affair with a pilot, yet he still turned up for work. You'd have never known. Top lad. 🏆

Our Check-In for emotional baggage is now open.

When a BMW driver gets a pilot's licence.

This Virgin Atlantic pilot does a barrel roll to get a better look at the girls shooting a YouTube video. What a pervert.

Solemn moment here. The white smoke means the Ramp Agent's Conclave has selected a new Head of Baggage Handling, the successive line of Saint Sam Sonite.

Just radioed this pilot to let him know he’s left his right indicator on. What an idiot…

Our Social Media Trainee has jumped on that trend of surprising people with little notes. It’s so easy to make someone’s day.

So endearing. This little jet had a very heavy landing and broke its gear, so we're teaching it to fly again by building its confidence. Baby steps.

That's the 14:12 from Alicante just landed. Apparently it had a Geordie Hen Party on board.

When a BMW driver gets a pilot's licence.

'Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.' - Leonardo da Vinci.

Just radioed this pilot to let him know he’s left his right indicator on. What an idiot.