alex turntine

@turntineforwhat • 23,873 subscribers

25 | writer | comedian | college student | losing it

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alex turntine

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hydration is not the problem girl 😭

last time I had a bday party was when I turned 22. it was my first bday party ever and I was so nervous. I invited these girls who were friends of a friend and they came, made this mean spirited tiktok, and left. I saw it the next day and cried my eyes out lmao

when I got formally diagnosed, my oldest sister was like "you're not autistic. if all those things mean you're autistic, then our whole family is autistic"

does anyone else remember when Cupid went on The Voice and sang the Cupid Shuffle. and no chairs turned around and CeeLo was like why would you sing that 😭 I felt so bad

the other day I had to find this clip to show my friend who never saw proud family cuz I looked crazy talking about "then Penny had to double dutch Al Roker to save her family" 😭

this is still the funniest tiktok I've ever seen

my (autistic) student and I love reading together but she likes to follow along with MY (autistic) finger and usually I let her but it cracks me up bc we're on opposite sides of the spectrum. space invader kid meets touch defensive adult. one of us is always stressed 😭

they in the comments calling this our version of "the wicked witch of the east bro" 😭😭😭

they brought my tweet up in class

I think about this tiktok at least once a day

I can't stop listening to this. I made my therapist watch it just now. I sent it to my friend who had childhood leukemia. I bought it on itunes to make this video. I wish my dad was alive so he could watch it while I run around in him in circles slapping his head to the beat

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the only reason I finally made a tiktok is because my friend and I saw this girl taking self timer pictures so we came up to offer to take her picture and then she posted a video saying we were mean mugging her?? influencers are fake as fuck lmao

learning the term "back door pilot" was a big lightbulb moment for me because as a kid, watching Alyson Stoner be the main character for one single episode of That's So Raven felt like a hallucination

my friend Mychael is Northwestern's youngest admitted student of record. We met in our a capella group. For her senior solo, she chose to sing Smile by Nat King Cole 🕊️ While you listen, look below for info on Mychael's Gift - a $25,000 scholarship in her honor. app is now open

happy belated father's day to megan thee stallion

this was MY heated rivalry

@doobieshinstat my ass is always in a situation 😔

I don't think I updated the saga on here but here's a tiktok I made about what the doctor said about my eyes and my sleep. basically I've been living life on extreme difficulty dumb hard evil mode

I've said it before and I'll say it again

happy last day of pride month to Montessori Boy

how it feels when my 42-year-old sister introduces me as her "little sister who's in college" (I'm 25)

in 2021 I was in an a cappella group and we had to meet on zoom which rocks bc the only thing funnier than a cappella is ZOOM a cappella 😭 we ate tho. love them

this is an opportunity to talk how I think rap is poetry and comedy is poetry and rap is comedy and I love words in all forms and so anyway this is the tiktok where the person said I look like Anthony Ramos but more importantly Flo Milli liked and reposted!!

perfect example. why ugly dudes gotta be a microwave?

I hate when sad shit goes viral like yes that happened and yes it's sad but please know irl my vibe is like this

never not thinking about this Issa Rae speech. she's so fucking funny

baby's first time posting a set! I've never done stand up outside Chicago but I'm hoping to travel to NY and LA this summer after I graduate. I'd love to jump on your shows. ending the vid on a cliffhanger to generate demand 😏

this is funny timing bc I just passed this in my camera roll today. October 2020

just wanna let y'all know that there's a recall on generic Vyvanse and Adderall XR because I only just found out from this tiktok. if you've felt like your meds aren't working this month, you're not crazy. they aren't 🥲

"Can you imagine how much you have to pick for it to weigh enough for you to get paid? I would be praying for rain...you could get it a little heavy with the water on the cotton."