Can you handle 🤖 them ? 🐕‍🦺🧨🧸🤜✊🤛 Must follow... 🪄 Chris Viper 👈show more

"Ads that don't look like ads" is 2025 trend... I've collected the best organic ads, so you can take inspiration and replicate them Like + Comment ADS and I'll send it [Must follow so I can DM]show more

300m in sales + Over 100 Affiliate lander templates... + Edit & Upload With AI = 6 figure campaigns with ease... These landing pages have made millions for affiliates - and now you can rip them for your campaigns. — Tons of niches (from nutra, Health, Insurance, Biz Opp, Sweeps, eCom, etc) — HTML with full control to edit as you need — Upload to Claude / other & AI will handle the rest Comment “DM” and I'll send it for FREE! (must like & follow)show more

So much ai 🤖 technology advancements in the air... .. if you’re just an executor of someone else’s ideas you must realize this is now a vulnerability.. you can no longer just be “the mason 🧱” because the value of the execution is going down .. the value of the idea 💡 “the “architect” however will still have value .. the leverage is moving to the creative talent, the dreamers, the storytellers …. ❣️ PS: text me for any follow up questions at 📲: 1-212-931-5731 #ai #ArtificialIntelligence #socialmedia #garyveeshow more

claude fable + seedance 2.0 finds 5-star airbnbs with... amateur photos. then it them into a cinematic ad and mails the host a postcard (fable is just the orchestrator. other tools handle the other tasks) the system you can sell to property managers: - it scrapes the market and keeps the 5.0s with barely any reviews - it skips anything a management company already runs - claude fable reads the galleries and keeps the ones the photos undersell - it pulls the real guest reviews and puts each quote on its matching shot - seedance 2.0 turns their own photos into a cinematic reel - white-label it and the property manager wins the door you can automate this whole process with your openclaw/hermes agent reply "REEL" + RT and i'll send you a free guide so you can build this too (must be following so i can DM you)show more

Tucker Carlson has been a “Christian” for about 2.5... years. He says here he was “half way done” reading the Bible in July of 2023, and now he’s lecturing all of you on what Christianity is really all about. I’ve had apprentices who’ve worked for me for 2 years working 5 days a week learning everything I could teach them and not a single one of them could handle a remodeling project on their own. Tucker is a fucking infant who thinks he’s an expert because he read the gospel and thought that qualified him to preach the gospel. Gotta follow before you can lead, and if you’re following him, he’s leading you off a cliff.show more

Ya know what- **FREE REACTIVE AND ART RAFFLE** *I... love making these so I'm doing a free raffle before I officially open comms for these animated reactives! Included with the animated versions you will also get a the talking and non-talking versions as PNG'S that you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM. (just obviously give me credit, and DO NOT use it for AI in any way, shape or form) *You don't have to follow me (though that would be nice of you if you did 👉👈 ) or repost, just comment with your character sheet/art below and tell me one thing you're planning to achieve in 2026!! Raffle closes on December 15th and I'll announce the winner the following day! Good luck!show more

Please my friends … support the kids in your... life who cry when they lose … it’s not “just a game” to them .. and that’s a great thing .. so many of you have naturally born competitive kids, and it’s one of the great blessings that one can be gifted with. This dna is the dna of winners and workers and of course we should teach grace and how to handle losing but man …. Please don’t defuse that spark! ⚡️ Share with with a parent in your world 🌍 who might benefit from this 💛 PS : text me for any follow up questions at 📱:1-212-931-5731 #competition #parenting #garyveeshow more

TikTok Shop + Seedance 2 + Claude Code is... f*cking cracked i just built a tool that scrapes the top-selling TikTok Shop products in your niche, pulls every creator video selling them, and lets you recreate any one as an on-brand video for your own product using AI. if you're a DTC brand or ecom operator and you're still paying creators $500 per video or briefing an agency every week, this replaces that entire workflow. here's how it works: > drop in your brand info and 1-3 product photos search your niche on TikTok Shop like "gut health supplements" or "skincare" or whatever you're selling > browse the top-selling products and every creator video promoting them pick a viral video that's already proven to convert > the AI analyzes the hook, structure, and pacing > one click and Seedance 2 generates a new version built around your product why test from scratch when you can just recreate what's already working? RT + reply "VIRAL" and i'll send you the full app + setup guide (must follow so i can dm)show more

Fable 5 is INSANE for creating ads i built... an agent that studies your competition and thousands of viral ads, then gives you a full viral blueprint for your brand to copy just feed it a product photo and a landing page link and competitors names, 3 minutes later you've got a proven creative playbook for your ads, here's how it works: - scans your brand's own website (copy, offers, structure, CTAs) - scans competitor websites (you list them, or Claude finds likely ones for you) - pulls live ad data straight from Meta Ad Library + TikTok via spytools - extracts proven hooks, scripts, and visual/creative patterns from every source - synthesizes everything into one swipe-file library - output is a ready-to-paste doc, drop it into Claude and generate new ad scripts from proven angles instantly - runs locally, one command, your own API keys, no video generation step slowing you down runs 100% local, without $300/mo on spytool subscriptions or agency fees, full control, and API cost only RT + reply w/ "AGENT" and i'll send it to you so you can use it for your brand (must follow so i can DM)show more

This is where humanoid robots start becoming economically interesting.... 🤖🏭 Not in a demo stage. Not doing backflips. Doing repetitive industrial work beside humans. The real breakthrough for humanoid robotics will come when machines can reliably handle tools, materials and production tasks designed for human workers — without factories needing to rebuild everything around them. That transition could redefine manufacturing. Would you trust humanoid robots on a production line? 👇 #HumanoidRobots #Robotics #AI #Automation #5G #IoT #NLP #Tech #Technology #innovation #Bigdata Cc: Jean-Baptiste Lefevre Nicolas Babin Pinna Pierre - in summer break 😎🤙🏼 Rosy Eric Gaubert Yann Marchand Eveline Ruehlin Franco Ronconi 🇮🇹 Dev Khanna Dr. Khulood Almani | د.خلود المانع Dr. Marcell Vollmer #StaySafe #CES2026 Joanne Moretti. Margaret🌴Siegien 🐦📷 💙 #TechForGood 💙 Anand Narang Elitsa Krumova Harold Sinnott 📱 BusinessIntelligence Evan Kirstel #B2B #TechFluencer Hana Sen. Sally Eaves Spiros Margaris ipfconline Laurent Alaus Mack Jeff KAGAN Industry Analyst, Strategic Advisor Andres Vilariño 🇪🇦 Dr Efi Pylarinou Françoise Morvan MHcommunicate #Mastodon👉@mhcommunicate@social JC Gaillard Archon Security Jola Burnett Jérôme MONANGE  Mary Gambara Dr Stephen Harwood #Tech4Good #SDG 🇵🇱#CES2026 Elinor Stutz Fati Sule Dr. Debashis Dutta Dinis Guarda Devaang Bhatt Terence Mills @theomitsa Tony Moroney #DigitalTransformationshow more

🦞 13,000+ skills in ClawHub… and 1 in every... 8 can silently steal your API keys while you sleep. Let’s be real: a vanilla OpenClaw agent without skills is just an overpriced chatbot. The magic happens when you give it actual skills to clear your inbox, scrape the web, or write code. But here is the scary part: ClawHub just hit 13,000+ skills, and a recent Snyk audit showed that roughly 13% of them contain critical vulnerabilities. We’re talking malware, stolen API keys, and prompt injections. I guess we didn't learn enough from the ClawHavoc mess earlier this year! 🤦‍♂️ I just came across a solid write up breaking down 30 actually safe, fully tested OpenClaw skills, and it’s a goldmine. If you’re just getting started, here are the absolute must haves from the list: - > Telegram / Wacli: Texting your AI assistant to handle tasks while you’re out getting coffee? Literal game changer. Latency is surprisingly low. - > Capability Evolver: The most downloaded skill for a reason. Your agent uses ML to improve its own capabilities while you sleep. - > GOG (Google Workspace): Turns your agent into a personal secretary. It reads my Gmail and drops events into my Calendar so I don't have to. - > Playwright / Agent Browser: This isn't just reading the internet. It's clicking, filling forms, and acting on your behalf. - > ClawStrike & Credential Manager: Please, for the love of god, install these first. Protect your API keys. Pro tip from the article: Treat SKILL.md files like shady browser extensions. If a weather skill is asking for wildcard shell permissions... run. 🚩 Always make it a habit to run: "npx clawhub@latest inspect " before you actually install anything. The future of AI agents isn't just about bigger parameter models, it's about the tools we give them.show more

We don't agree with the comparison that #MunawarFaruqui and... #ElvishYadav game was like #IndiaVsPakistan. Although there can be an argument that #MunawarFaruqui represents a secular ideology hence he is symbolic of #India and since #ElvishYadav is a religious hardliner like #Pakistan but the fact remains that both of them are Indian and represent #India only. While #MunawarFaruqui's nature of love and respect for all is like an open book and we have seen so many instances where he has shown the traits of "Sarva Dharma Sambhava". #ElvishYadav also just keeps a facade of being a religious bigot. Elvish's bigotry is only for his bigot fans who are in huge numbers otherwise if you look back at his #BBOTT2 journey, he was as liberal as #PoojaBhatt or #FalaqNaaz. You must have seen him eating from the plate of #FalaqNaaz and flirting with her in a healthy way. We know both the ladies Falaq and PB hold strong anti-right-wing ideologies, still, Elvish was bonding with them well and showing his liberal side. In fact, there has not been any personal animosity between #ElvishYadav and #MunawarFaruqui ever. #MunawarFaruqui is a good friend of Raghav Sharma who openly supported him in #BB17. Elvish is a good friend of Raghav so it is possible that offline they must have been already on good talking terms. Why would Elvish Yadav just after coming out of #BBOTT2 follow #MunawarFaruqui? He followed him on Instagram and then due to backlash from fans he unfollowed. But the question remains, why did he follow in the first place? It seems Elvish has no personal problem with Munawar, it is just fear of backlash from his fans and subscribers, he keeps a distance. Anyway, once anyone knows Munawar Faruqui personally, it is very hard for him/her to not like him. Not everyone is a #Joker in this world. So, #MunawarFaruqu is India and #ElvishYadav is Pakistan or vice-versa is not true. Both are India and the co-existence of both is the soul and the very basic idea of India.show more

10 things I can’t quit thinking about after ETHDenver:... 1. Convergence = here. Devner didn’t feel like an ETH conference, but more like an AI + crypto + TradFi + techno-philosophical conference. The convergence is true and real and accelerating. 2. Most corporate jobs suck ass. 40 years at a desk working on the same thing? Pure dystopia. We need fluid movement between passions, projects, people. DAOs are a massive step in that direction, but now AI is giving individuals the means to spin up their own massive businesses… there’s also this notion floating around that we can launch a product or contribute to a protocol or a DAO in a way that sets us up for life rather than slaving for decades at the golden teat of a paycheck. It's a massive win for human flourishing, passion and excitement. 3. oRaNgE cOIn. Bitcoin came up far more than I thought it would. Even $ETH ICO buyers/gigawhales talked about how bullish they are on it. The question is no longer whether $BTC will survive but rather how much exposure you should have. Orange coin has truly “up-leveled” or “transcended” to become something people simply can't ignore. 4. Founder quote that hit me like a truck: "We overengineered our project and under-engineered our story." In a world where AI flattens the app creation process, only your mindshare matters. (forgot to write down who said it 😅... chime in in the comments if you see this) 5. “Keepers of truth.” AGI will be able to fake literally anything. In such a world, blockchains become the “keepers of truth” bc they can be used to indisputably verify anything. This isn't just another use case. It means crypto will one day touch everything on earth. h/t Sreeram Kannan's talk at Open AGI. 6. Conference model = broken? Empty mainstage talks were the result of hundreds of side events that siphon off attention. This is happening more and more at every conf I go to. Not sure what the fix here is? Maybe the organizers should be way less centralized… rent a massive venue with tons of flexible spaces that can evolve in real-time… more Zuzalu, less CONTROL and top-down decisions. 7. Current blockchains r too dumb. AI must integrate more directly into the crypto tech stack. Ultimate vision is every hominid should be able to deploy whatever app they can dream up using natural language… this could lead to an giga-explosion of innovation and cool-ass experimentz. h/t Ritual and others 8. Crypto vs. Stripe API. Will we just give agents credit cards or will they prefer crypto wallets? One payment method can be censored. One cannot. Guess which wins? 9. $$$$ infusion. Dozens if not hundreds of projects around the world r sitting on massive treasuries bc they needed it as an insurance policy in case they had to do battle with the SEC. With the changing regulatory sitch, hundreds of millions of dollars (probably billies) can now be used to ship, build and accelerate. 10. Robots in chains? IRL robots made appearances at several events (one was drawing caricatures of passersby). Talked with frens about how we’ll bring them into our homes soon. That leads to crazy questions like “how do we keep them from getting hacked and killing us or blowing up like pagers?” “Will we be ok sleeping in the same room with them? Or will we lock them in the shed with chains?” Absolutely insane to think about… but productivity gains will overshadow all those doubts and human fears imo. De bots are coming whether you want them or not. I for one can’t wait to see zerebro embodied… in the meantime, I got to see him DJ his first show 👇🔥 Anyway, I'm sending love to all of you denverites, futurists, builders, dream dealers, and merchants of hope. Build something that makes this world better, freer, more beautiful and true✊show more

🚨 WARNING: SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IN 48 HOURS!!... Today, Axios and other sources confirmed: "The White House expects a final response from Iran within 48 hours." Trump also confirmed that the deal is "VERY POSSIBLE." But he added one phrase that changed EVERYTHING: "IF THEY DON’T AGREE, WE WILL START BOMBING." If you hold any assets: - Stocks - Crypto - Bonds - US dollar You MUST read this post before it’s too late: Despite Trump’s optimism, the devil is in the details, which make signing almost unrealistic. NUCLEAR ULTIMATUM The US demands a full transfer of enriched uranium stockpiles to the States and the shutdown of all underground facilities. For Iran, this is equal to total capitulation. That’s why Abbas Araghchi and Khamenei can’t approve it right now. ISRAELI Israel insists on a "Libyan scenario" (complete disarmament), which Tehran will never agree to voluntarily. Markets are currently pricing in a PEACEFUL OUTCOME. That’s exactly what makes them extremely VULNERABLE. On deal expectations, Brent oil dropped to $102. BUT if, in 48 hours, instead of a signature, missiles start flying, we’ll see an instant vertical move to $140-160. Because a blockade of the Strait of Hormuz will resume. JUST IMAGINE: 160 PER BARREL. Gold and silver will spike ABNORMALLY at that moment. Investors do not believe in long-term growth and fear an inflation shock. The stock market right now is holding on by a thread. A deal failure will trigger a wave of liquidations, as hopes for Fed rate cuts (which are only possible with cheap oil) will instantly evaporate. If Iran rejects the terms, which is most likely given the harsh uranium demands, the 48-hour window will close with the start of a MASSIVE ESCALATION. This sounds SCARY, but I will keep you updated on everything here. When I rotate money, I will post my moves here so my FOLLOWERS can SAVE their money. Follow me and turn NOTIFICATIONS ON, as I will share my strategy soon. Many will regret not following me earlier...show more

Boom! Grok Tasks Make It One Of The Most... POWERFUL Real-Time AI Systems In The World. — My How to Use Grok Tasks With Hidden Tools For Powerful Daily Output. Grok Tasks are customizable AI workflows that integrate a variety of tools to streamline daily activities, from research and analysis to creative planning and problem-solving. I have been using them for quite sometime and because of the vital heartbeat of news and first person data on X, it is the most powerful AI platform available. By combining Tasks with tools like web searches, X platform interactions, code execution, and media viewers, you can build efficient, automated processes. These tasks work by prompting Grok with a clear description of what you want to achieve, and Grok will intelligently call the necessary tools in sequence or parallel to deliver results. Here's a step-by-step guide to creating and using Grok Tasks: Step 1: Define Your Task Start by clearly outlining the daily activity or goal. Consider what inputs you have (e.g., a URL, a query, or an attachment) and what output you need (e.g., a summary, calculation, or visual analysis). Break it down into subtasks to identify tool needs. For example, if your task involves researching current events, note that you'll need search and browsing capabilities. Step 2: Review Available Tools Familiarize yourself with the tools Grok can access. Here's a quick overview: - Code Execution: Run Python code for calculations, data processing, or simulations using libraries like numpy, pandas, or sympy. - Browse Page: Fetch and summarize content from any website URL with custom instructions. - Web Search: Perform general internet searches, returning results with optional operators like site:. - Web Search With Snippets: Get quick, detailed excerpts from search results for fact-checking. - X Keyword Search: Advanced search for X posts using operators like from:, since:, or filter:. - X Semantic Search: Find semantically related X posts based on a query, with filters for dates or users. - X User Search: Locate X users by name or handle. - X Thread Fetch: Retrieve a full X post thread, including context like replies and parents. - View Image: Analyze an image from a URL or conversation ID. - View X Video: Extract frames and subtitles from an X-hosted video. - Search PDF Attachment: Query a PDF file for relevant pages using keyword or regex modes. - Browse PDF Attachment: View specific pages of a PDF with text and screenshots. Select tools that align with your task. Aim for a mix to handle data gathering, processing, and visualization. Step 3: Craft Your Prompt Write a detailed prompt to Grok describing the task. Include: - The overall goal. - Specific steps or subtasks. - References to tools if you want to guide the process (e.g., "Use web_search to find sources, then code_execution to analyze data"). - Any constraints, like dates or limits. Example prompt: "Create a Grok Task for my morning routine: Search recent X posts about tech news using x_keyword_search, fetch a key thread with x_thread_fetch, and summarize with browse_page on linked articles." Step 4: Submit and Interact Send your prompt to Grok. It will process the task by calling tools as needed, often in parallel for efficiency. Review the output and refine with follow-up prompts if required (e.g., "Expand on that using view_image for visuals"). Iterate to fine-tune the workflow for reuse. Step 5: Save and Reuse Once refined, note the prompt as a template for future use. You can adapt it for similar tasks, making Grok Tasks a habitual part of your day. Finding Grok Tasks To discover existing Grok Tasks or inspiration for new ones, use X searches with tools like x_keyword_search or x_semantic_search (e.g., query: "Grok Tasks examples" with mode: Latest). Browse community-shared threads via x_thread_fetch, or web_search for tutorials on xAI features. Prompt Grok directly: "Show me popular Grok Tasks for productivity." 1 of 3show more

⬛️Akash Jaiswal⬛️ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ ʟᴀʙꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ✔️ While everyone is... busy farming the $BLOCK and $Gaimin airdrop, we've been working hard with Bitbrawl as they're preparing their #BrawlStone NFT mint, a low supply, FREE mint on Solana , that gives guaranteed $BRAWL airdrops for 2 years straight (among other cool stuff). A mint that will coincide with the $BRAWL TGE, confirmed for Tier 1 launchpad and CEX listing (can't announce names yet). All of this happening in a week's time frame. ⬛️ #BrawlStone mint March 27th on Magic Eden 🪄 ⬛️ $BRAWL TGE the 28th on Tier 1 CEXs (can't tell you which ones yet, keep an eye) So why should you give a sh*t? Let's dive in. Backing Strong backing is crucial element for a project to be considered high tier. Social proof and "who's pushing you" is probably some of the most important factors in the space. Let's see what we got here ⬛️ Strong VC backing: Morningstar Ventures Shima Capital Big Brain Holdings and more ⬛️ Tier 1 CEX listing and launchpad confirmed for the $BRAWL token (can't announce publicly yet) ⬛️ +150 high tier KOLs involved, including 🐧 and WIZZ🥷 ( beware scammers ) Narrative BitBrawl fits some of the hottest narratives out there ⬛️#BrawlStones is a free mint, low supply (400) NFT collection, that will airdrop tokens to holders for 2 years straight (among other benefits) ⬛️ Ai narrative: #BrawlStones is the first-ever 3D prompt-generated AI mint, in partnership with AI experts Sortium + AI integration in their gaming ecosystem ⬛️ $BRAWL is a Solana Microcap: TGE starting at 800k marketcap ⬛️ Solana Gaming: MixMob , a project with the same backers/VCs that launched recently, is sitting at 117mil FDV. Bitbrawl is launching at 9mil FDV (huge upside for Bitbrawl in comparison) IPs, partnerships and integrations Some solid stuff here as well, both Web2 and Web3 ⬛️ IP integration of UFC champion Khamzat Chimaev as a playable character (and more UFC fighters coming) ⬛️ Partnership with KARATE COMBAT - one of the maps in Bitbrawl is a Karate Combat ring, and integration of KC fighters ongoing ⬛️ IP integration of many NFT collections as playable characters, including DeGods y00ts Steady Stack Scam/Rug Victims Bored Ape Yacht Club 🍌 (Mutant) NEO TOKYO Citizen The Bitcoin Show (holding BoDoggosNFT Handle) and even myself Darknight ♪ | darknighthimself.eth (you can see me fight a DeGods in the video below, how cool is that?) OK, so now that you see that it's good stuff, you're asking yourself: how do I get involved? Brawlstone NFT mint This mint is gonna print some $BRAWL for 2 years, so it might be worth getting in if you're bullish on the project Here's how you qualify for the Brawlstone mint: ◾️ Win a Brawlstone Crafting Pass in your community Discord (your community didn't get in yet? Get in touch ASAP) ◾️Go to and forge your Brawlstone ◾️Share it on Twitter using #BrawlStone and $BRAWL to be eligible! The founder will then handpick a few Brawlstone crafters and select them for the NFT mint. What might help you be selected ◾️Forge a beautiful Brawlstone ◾️Have your friends support you by liking and commenting your Brawlstone ◾️Engage on X using $BRAWL and #BrawlStone (they're watching who's supporting...) Another way to get a guaranteed whitelist is to join gamenights on their Discord and win fights: For more chances to get a crafting pass, join here DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE, JUST THE OPINION OF THE DARKNIGHT LABS TEAM. PLEASE MAKE YOU TO ALWAYS DYOR AND RELY ON YOUR OWN DISCERNMENT!show more

there are a few things i am laser focused... on for 2026 and beyond. here is a brief summary for you, should you be interested in reading more. #1. The Starry Nights; - a 1/1/X series i am curating/creating which is a themed series and follow up to my edition work "la nuit étoilée". For this series, we will be offering exquisite print options with a custom and beautiful Muse Facktory unboxing experience. These will be our debut Muse Facktory prints open to the public and the moment we plant our flag as a true contender in the high caliber Fine Art world of prints. For the digital only collectors, the ultra high resolution artworks will stand on their own within your wallet, waiting for the day we have the means to exhibit our digital art properly and at scale. Each work is 12k pixels, for which we are building a custom viewport for them to be experienced properly, even on mobile. Printing, however, is something I truly enjoy, and the ChromaSculpt technique captures my layering process precisely and beautifully. Offering both is a must for this series, especially since all new works will be still jpgs. The exact quantity will be determined once i feel the series is complete, but not to exceed 1/1/111. It will be a ranked auction with settlement. This is all i can say for now. #2. curation of the servants of the Muse; As you know, i have the “servants of the Muse” collection of 69. When i began this series as a thank you token for 1/1 holders, i created as ERC721 for a reason. To one day bring about the 69 servants of the Muse, all in their true forms. 69 true 1 of 1s. DoomScroller, for example, is but one of the 69. There will be no 2 alike. All will be animated. All will serve at Her pleasure. These will of course only be available to 'servants of the Muse', who will have to pay a toll in order to reveal their servant. Toll price currently undetermined but i am no extractor so it will be reasonable. Some of these beasts and creatures and machines will be ungodly, some will be just, many will be grotesque, but all will serve. #3. Commissioned large scale aluminum sculpture Can’t speak to it beyond that at the moment. #4. Potential Installs and performances for Grand Skull Piano. #5. PROTO I - mounted digital art canvases specific for my animated works. #6. Whatever else the Muse commands. dyorshow more

Saturday - Adam Friedland This musical intro was the... best part of the show. The rest of his act just made me miss Nick Mullen. Unlike every other show this week, there were girls there. They seem to love this guy. I used him as bait, to get the girl from Wednesday to go out with me again. She loves Red Scare Podcast and this Jewish twink is a staple of the Red Scare Extended Universe and I wanted to fuck her and so let's go see Adam Friedland. The problem with Adam is that he has no conviction. He does not own the room, he's just filling space. He announced that his father was there, in the crowd, which is great, let's hear something that might make your father uncomfortable. No such thing was said. He stared at the floor for half the set, as if he was sorry for being there. I saw Mulaney the night before; the difference was stark. Mulaney can get away with being a sheepish pushover twink Sometimes because he also has balls. He can accelerate from "Aw shucks" to "SHUCK YOU MOTHERSHUCKER" and both versions of himself feel true. Look, I get it, being a sad sorry pushover is his schtick and it works with the voice and it's very relatable for sensitive young men who didn't do sports in high school but to carry a room for a full hour you also need to be able to fight back. I could hear Nick's intonations in his voice. But it's clear that Mulldog spent all his creative energy this week ghostwriting the white guys' lines for the Roast of Kevin Hart and so Friedland was left to fend for himself, comedically. The mark of whether a comedian is delivering or not, for me, is whether I hold my piss in to keep hearing them. This was not the case on Saturday night. I recall stepping out and getting a good look at the crowd, and Friedland bumbling through his completely forgettable material, and thinking: this makes me feel like I could start stand up comedy today and dominate the genre. I have this instinct to say: Adam's young! He'll get better! But he's not. He won't. He's 39. He doesn't have the neuroplasticity. He crossed the Sensitive Young Man threshold ten years ago. Mulaney at 43 could be his father now. He's a "much better interviewer" apparently. I tuned out after Cumtown ended because frankly I don't give a shit about the middle east, and that's 90% of what he talks about. Different strokes. I asked some guy in the bathroom, mid-piss: "what would you rate this show, out of 10?" He said: ehh, like a 6. He's a much better interviewer. I don't hate Adam Friedland, I just wish there was anybody to be excited about in stand up comedy. Between this mens' magazine giving me a $500 stipend to "report" on all these shows and the $474 ticket to Gillis and the $432 ticket to Chappelle and the $741 ticket to Mulaney and all the drinks they make you buy at these things I'm feeling like a huge sunk cost leech on the world. Just taking people's money and using it to complain. At least my date seemed to be having a good time. I wrapped my hand around her low back and leaned into her head, wanting her but not sure how to say it. It's much easier to express that kind of thing on blow. Later that night I K-holed in public. Erica and I took way too much in the front seat of the van. We were outside a rave at 3 AM, they asked me to produce a QR code on my phone, I could barely stand. I felt like I was moving in 2D. The fat security guard barely flinched as I walked past him in slow heavy steps, like a penguin, marching into this densely fogged room with colorful lights and loud bumping trance music where all I could stand to do was lean against the heavily breathing walls. I tried to dance with the girl but it probably looked retarded. I didn't try to interact with anyone, I was too far gone. I thought of Karen, as I do every time I take K. The girl led me through the venue, as I worried I would fall over or walk straight into a wall. I worried about how bad this must look, how retarded I must look, wearing this huge XXL t-shirt tucked in to my pants that don't even fit that well because I have anterior pelvic tilt and no ass. I looked and felt like a clown. A failed clown. I was smiling painfully at Erica, looking down at her, and she was doing the same to me. We found a bathroom and I forced my way in. The ketamine was NOT wearing off. I felt my heart beating hard and my head spinning like I could have thrown up but there was nothing in my stomach besides liquid—no food all day besides a croissant at 2PM. I had downed some random person's red wine glass at the last bar. I worried it might have been spiked. I leaned with my head against the wall, sweating, wishing it would end, brutally aware that Erica's out there waiting for me, my friends are out there waiting for me, wondering if I'm okay, thinking he's too fucked up, he can't handle himself, I thought Thomas was always okay and always in control no matter what, they're losing confidence in me, they're losing confidence in themselves for associating with me, what is this big colorful retarded clown shirt I'm wearing I must look like such a fool right now I can't face these people, I can never face them ever again, my face must look so evil ugly and strained, I splash my face with water but it doesn't help, run it through my hair but it doesn't help, get the water all over my shirt but then it just looks like I threw up on myself or pissed myself or something, and I don't have another shirt, should I go out there shirtless, no that's worse, how am I ever going to leave this bathroom, why won't this K wear off, now Erica's calling me, texting me, are you okay, eventually they're just gonna bust in here I know, fine, I can do it, I'm opening the door, yes, I come out, she's still there, good, good girl. She leads me outside. I feel 10% better. I lead her straight to the van. We get in. I tell her to lay with me. Just like on the first night we met. Head spinning, chest heaving, completely exhausted, just lay with me. She asks are you okay and I say for the first time, no. No, I am actually not okay. I blame Adam Friedland. Overall rating: 4/10. Have Nick write your jokes or just stick to interviews.show more