"i know evefyone's obsessed with the devils minion...do not... worry. there will be something totally screwed up between those two" im shaking throwing up and assad zaman is smilingshow more

To think Megan’s mom told her they would meet... Beyoncé one day and there she is up there performing with her. I know mama was somewhere in the crowd smiling 😭show more

I’m sorry but who the fuck set up those... camera angles and thought “yeah, that will do” 😂 Doesn’t help that the camera is shaking like a shitting dog either.show more

Winds will start to pick up this evening as... rain arrives in the southwest 🌧️ There will be rain and hill snow across Scotland too 🌧️❄️ Drier but rather cloudy between the two! ☁️show more

Don't worry Jimmy Kimmel, we're now 100% free from... porn and ads! "I downloaded that Watch Duty app… and you know, when you Google "Watch Duty", you really have to be careful. You do not know what might come up".show more

🚨🚨BRAKING NEWS🚨🚨 Introducing the “Isle Pick You Up Plan”... If the New York Islanders enter the 3rd period with a lead today against Buffalo Sabres and wind up losing the game, I will give a follower a pair of tickets to a future #isles game. Must be following and repost to be entered. If this happens, I will do a random drawing of the followers that retweeted immediately after the game to see who wins. It can’t all just be frustration and misery. Don’t worry, your favorite mascot will be there to pick you up! LGI #islesshow more

🐥 it’s not the same as before. I was... really confident about this because I used to do ballet, you know. But I’ve become stiff, totally. I used to be more flexible in the past, but now I’m grown up, I can’t do it anymore. baby ducky is pouting 😭show more

Rain or no rain, the plan stays the same.... First fung app at V12 has started. I know this can be laughed at but I’ve seen these dry patterns before, and while there’s not many certainties; there is one. You give up on the crop and I can guarantee it will give up on youshow more

(Lewis Hamilton is) a weapon. We know if we... do a car that is reliable and decently quick, we absolutely know he will get the job done for us. We also know if our car isn't quick enough, its not cause he's having an off day. he doesn't have off days. its cause we've screwed up." - James Allisonshow more

Remember when everyone was crying about low water levels... last week and I said “this is England” 🤦🏽‍♀️ Don’t worry England will be flooding with its blocked up drainage systemsshow more

“If I love them both who do I love... more? Who do I want to be with now and for the rest of my life?….It’s Carla. 100 times Carla.”—CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP!!! #swarlashow more

Tonight while checking cams I hung my pack in... a tree thinking it would be safe there. 10 minutes later I came back to this. Mormon crickets are taking over and honestly I am okay with it. This planet is kinda screwed anyway. My plan is to gain their respect and train them to swarm those who do not belong in the woods.show more

CRIESSSS cause seungmin has the longest life expectancy which... is up to 94.2 years and han is up to 93.7 years 🐿i think i will be active until i turn 93, i will do unit with seungmin then ill go first, after that seungmin will go solo 🐶yeah i will keep singing until im 94.2 years old 🐿but seungmin has no one left for his funeral 😭😭😭😭😭show more

"Well realistically speaking, I may feel tired according to... the time and location, but feeling tired and not wanting to do something is a totally different matter The things we do cant be done unless we're sincerely into it"show more

The big crane is here in Craigyhill and you... couldn't pay me to be up there. It's windy too. The fair is setting up as are the stalls and the hot food vans. The road will be hectic all week now with bonfire tourists, already plenty of people up for a nosy and photos! Me included, but then I live here 🙂show more

i need to be inside ishowspeeds guts and im... NOT kidding. if he can do this on the dck sign me up last year 🍑💦 #ishowspeed #twerkshow more

istg if i see "im a swiftie but, she... ruined toy story, bring back max and shellback, jack is washed, this is better than anything on showgirl, she had the potential and messed it up...." imma be throwing handsshow more