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A powerful moment unfolded during the vigil for Corey Ruiz when a young Black man called a boy named Dwayne to the front of the crowd. After a few moments, Dwayne's mother shared that his father, Dwayne Collins Jr., was shot and killed in 2022. The speaker told the...

20,948 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten •via X (Twitter)

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Issues of paternity have shaped our society for generations, especially in Zimbabwe. They did not start today. I remember going to a funeral with my father in the 1990s, and as we sat around the fire the men began sharing stories. One of them has stayed with me ever since. A Zimbabwean doctor had married a nurse, and they struggled to have children. As usual, when there is no child, the blame was placed on the woman. She went to see her own doctor, who told her plainly that she was not the problem, and advised her to bring her husband for testing. The husband refused, as many Zimbabwean men tend to do. Their marriage eventually collapsed, with the man insisting he could not be the problem because he had a child with another woman before marrying the nurse. That woman, he said, was also a doctor, and he was raising that child. After the divorce, the nurse remarried another doctor, and she immediately fell pregnant. Because it was a tight medical community, the whole situation became a talking point. The ex-husband had loudly declared that his former wife was barren, yet here she was having one child after another, three in total, with her new husband. Meanwhile, the ex-husband remarried, and again there were no children. One day the ex-husband and his former wife met at a gathering. During a casual conversation, as people who once knew each other, she told him directly that he was raising a child who was not his. She told him that he had no capacity to father a child and that if he finally went for tests, he would discover the truth. She reminded him how he had insulted her and her parents, and how he had refused to listen. The revelation shook him. He went for tests, and it was confirmed that he was the problem. He had spent seventeen years looking after a child who was not his. The moral of the story is simple, and I always stress this when mentoring young people. When in doubt, check. In fact, even without doubt, check. A DNA test at birth saves you from future heartbreak. Many men are raising children who are not theirs. Some women know exactly what they are doing. Others genuinely do not know because their relationships overlapped before they settled down. In those cases, even the woman cannot be sure who the father is. So when you have a child, get a DNA test. If you ask for one and a woman becomes defensive or resistant, that is a major red flag. At that point, the test is no longer optional, it is necessary. That is the reality of life today. As they say, trust is beautiful, but DNA is confirmation. In this life we live, hope is not a strategy when it comes to your children, so test your child and protect your future, as the saying goes. I have DNA stories that I could share for a whole year. If compulsory DNA testing was demanded of all of us today, you will be shocked by what will come out. This brother in the video is now going through denial. He has been told the truth, but he is still in shock, which is why he is asking for silly things from this woman. It is hard for any man to discover that the child he believed was his belongs to another man. That is why DNA testing is a necessity and why it should be compulsory.

Hopewell Chin’ono

68,177 Aufrufe • vor 10 Monaten

“For a long time, I was a guest in our house” Thierry Henry speaks from his soul. He has depth. He’s a man in touch with himself. I recall some years ago, he spoke about how much he wanted to please his father on Steven Bartlett Diary of a CEO podcast. Everything he aimed to achieve was to please the voice that rang in his head, telling him to do it better. His father stood behind him while he built a career, probably saw the good many never saw. As a father, he also mentioned how COVID-19 changed his life. It was the point he chose his family. That was probably why he said at some point, he became a guest in his house. Men become guests in their house. There was a Reminisce Alaga interview I saw. I think it was on ISaidWhatISaidPod. He said there was a point he went into his daughter(s) room and asked when they painted the wall pink. His wife told him it’s been there for two years. He said that was the point he thought it important to rest on the tours and be with his children. At that point, he probably was a guest in his house. Men’s lives are not easy. Footballers especially — elite footballers most especially are like tour musicians. They’re often on the road. You’re playing away games round the country, spending three days or more away from home when you have continental away games. Gabriel Jesus spoke about the same thing in his recent interview with The Players’ Tribune titled “A Letter to My Family and my Arsenal Family”. He said football made him distant but his ACL injury brought him closer. “I wasn’t the husband and father that I needed to be,” he said. When his wife gave birth to his daughter, he said he only held her for one day. Brazil called and he had to go. And he was a guy who grew up without a father. For his child at the time, he was there now but wasn’t there too. “I always promised myself: When I become a father, I will always be there for my kids. “When Helena was born, I was not living up to that. I was there, but I was always distracted, you know? Always catching a flight.” That’s the tough decisions men have to make sometimes. At the point of growth and ascent, life will ask questions, and difficult decisions will need to be made. Hopefully, it will be one that won’t damage the future. The future one is securing.

Rilwan

206,726 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten

Terry Crews is not a pedophile, but another victim of sexual assault at the hands of powerful hollywood figures. Terry Crews was sexually assaulted by a Hollywood Executive at a function on 2016. An unnamed male executive grabbed his genitals in front of his wife and grinned like a jerk at their shocked response. The assault lasted only minutes, but what he was effectively telling Crews while he held his genitals in his hand was that he held the power. That he was in control. He said that he was tempted to retaliate, but was worried how the incident would be reported and feared he would go to jail. He thought, 240 lbs Black Man stomps out Hollywood Honcho would be the headline the next day if he did. When Crews told his story, the social media monster started to rear its ugly head. “Why didn’t he fight back against his assailant?” “What else are his muscles useful for?” “A man, a victim of sexual assault? How hilarious!” Not only from members of the public, but from other big name stars. Rapper 50 cent proceeded to mock Crews experience with a tiring meme on Instagram. Crews said the executive later called to apologise, but did not give a reason for his actions. Crews chose not to publicise the incident for fear of being ridiculed, which is par for the course when the predator has power and influence. Terry said his experience had helped him understand and empathize with those who have remained silent, but Harvey Weinstein is not the only perpetrator. Crews also expressed hope that, by making his experience public, he would deter a predator and encourage someone who feels hopeless. He spoke more on why he didn't do anything at the time. He stated, as a black man in America, you only have a few shots at success, you only have a few chances to make yourself a viable member of the community. Crews is from Flint, Michigan who had seen many young black men who were provoked into violence and they were in prison or they were killed. As he shared his story, he was told over and over that this was not abuse. This was just a joke or just horseplay. One man’s horseplay is another man’s humiliation and he chose to tell his story and share his experience to stand in solidarity with millions of other survivors around the world. Crews even made a series of tweets about what happened in 2017 in a 9 part series of posts. Growing up, Terry Crews watched his father violently abuse his mother using power and authority to dominate her. As he grew up, this thought transformed the type of man he became.

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16,373 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten