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Anby Demara – Quiet Mind. Sharp Blade. No Mercy. She doesn’t talk much... but when she moves, everything else stops. ⚔️🕶️ 3D Artist RedRain VA SoniaVA-🔞 COMMISIONS OPEN Tags #AnbyDemara #ZenlessZoneZero #3danimations #iwara

98,275 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr •via X (Twitter)

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#Flex1045xGirlRulesSeries #NamtanFilm #น้ำตาลฟิล์ม 🗣:Film, could you tell us a bit about Namtan's extroversion? How extroverted are we talking? Film: I've never seen her stop talking. Film: No, I mean... It's not a bad thing, it's actually positive. Film: I mean, she's got so much energy all the time. Film: Like, a ton of energy. 🗣: So, she's always happy and alert, doing this and that? Film: She can always find… like, topics to talk about, things to chat about… she’s always finding something to talk about. 🗣: Got it. And Namtan, how introverted would you say Film is? Namtan: In everything! Namtan: Like, she doesn't like leaving the house, she doesn't like... what's the word? 🗣: So she probably wouldn’t have come today if it weren’t necessary, right? Namtan: That would have been too far! Namtan: She's just a very private person. Namtan: She loves staying at home and spending time with her family. Namtan: She likes being around her friends, her plants, and her music. Namtan: I have that side too, but I’m someone who likes to talk. Namtan: Film likes reading, doing quiet things… our interests are just really different. Namtan: But the rule I’ve had since day one with Film is that no matter what the problem is, we have to talk about it.. Namtan: The challenge is that Film doesn’t really talk much. Namtan: So, when I ask, whether she's okay or not, she has to speak up and tell me. Namtan: I need to know her side and what's on her mind. Namtan: But we've adjusted—Film talks more and I step back a bit. Namtan: That's how we've met in the middle. Namtan: These days, I feel like Film can really be herself with me, and I can be 100% myself with her. Namtan: We talk about everything... I’ve never had friends with whom I could talk about everything. Sure, I have friends, but not female friends in the entertainment industry I can share everything with Namtan: Film knows everything about me. I just tell her everything, and she's such a good listener. Namtan: And sometimes, I wouldn’t expect her to share certain things with me, but she does. Namtan: So, I feel like she's my sister, my friend, and my partner all in one. Namtan: Right now, I'm just so glad it's Namtan and Film. Namtan: No matter what problems come our way, we're ready to face them. Namtan: But as of today, we really just get each other. Namtan: For example, if something happened to her before, I would get impatient, thinking, Why is she like this? Namtan: But now I'm just like, Oh, I get it now. Maybe she's got a stomachache or something? Is she okay? Namtan: It's made me a calmer person and helped me understand her better. Namtan: Or on days when I’m exhausted, she’s willing, in her introverted way, to bring out some of her energy for me. Namtan: Like today, she’s been trying to help me. Namtan: Even though she's tired, she's really hanging in there. I'm doing okay now. Trans (disc)

Belle

41,710 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten

she hovers rakan. i lock xayah without saying anything. we both know. the first few minutes are quiet. just farming. just existing in the same lane again. i forgot how she moves. or maybe i didn't. she positions like she's reading my mind. always in the right spot. always one step ahead of what i need before i need it. i throw feathers and she's already adjusting. creating space. pulling their attention so i can set up the angle. it's annoying how natural this feels. she engages and i swear to god she strokes that W key different than anyone else. soft then sudden. the way she drifts in and out. testing. teasing. waiting for the perfect moment. then she commits. flash R into both of them. no hesitation. no ping. she just expects me to be there. i am. i'm already autoing before she lands. feathers everywhere. she knocked them up and i pull everything back. double kill. silence on the call. just the sound of her breathing through the mic. "nice" she says. quiet. "yeah" i say. we don't talk about how we moved like one player. how her hands controlled her champion and somehow mine too. how i followed her in without thinking because my body remembered before my brain could stop it. she backs off after the fight and i watch her character retreat. smooth. patient. controlled. she always played like that. like she knew something i didn't. like every movement was deliberate. i used to watch her hands on the keyboard when we were together. the way her fingers danced between abilities. the way she'd posture up before an all-in. shoulders forward. leaning in. focused. i don't see her hands anymore. but i see her champion move and i remember exactly how she's sitting right now. some things you can't unlearn. after the game she says "that was clean" "yeah" i say. neither of us leaves the lobby. we're over each other. we're over who we were out of game we tell ourselves that. but in game? we'll never find better. and we both know it. study the saskio way

Tony Chau

651,904 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

Well… I feel emotional again. 🙁 Because if you know Hanni, you can almost feel what’s going through her mind right now. She must really want to talk to us. I bet she’s seen everything we’ve done. The cafés glowing with her name, the beautiful fan art, the hashtag trends, the videos, the chaos, the laughter. All of it. She must’ve smiled seeing them. But at the same time, she must be struggling too, wondering, “Should I say something? Should I update? Can I?” That’s just who Hanni is. She’s never been the type to stay silent when she feels love. She always wants to give it back, no matter how small. So I can only imagine how difficult it must be for her now, to stay quiet when she wants to speak, to hold back when her heart is overflowing. But honestly, Hanni, we understand. We really do. We don’t need you to risk anything just to say hello. We miss you… so so much… but we love you more. We’re not the kind of fans who disappear if you can’t appear, or who leaves when you can’t call us. We’re built differently. We learned that from you and the girls. It’s been a tough road for all of us. But look how far we’ve come. We made it through the silence, through the waiting, through the pain. And now we’re stronger, more united than ever. So rest easy tonight. You deserve peace, not pressure. You deserve smiles, not worries. And when you’re ready, when the time is right, bet we’ll be here, the same as always. Happy birthday, Hanni. Thank you for teaching us what real courage and real love look like. 🩷 #투마이스위트달링_팜하니_생일 #21st_Hanniverse #HAPPY_HANNI_DAY

𝙡𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧🦞

26,593 Aufrufe • vor 10 Monaten

Ren Susu, to me, is like a candle in a dark room. She was never afraid of giving people warmth, even if every act of kindness meant another piece of herself melted away. She spent so much of her life becoming light for others that she never noticed she was slowly disappearing. By the time everyone thank her for her glow, there was barely anything left of her. Love, happiness, and peace all feel temporary to her, as though they were never meant to belong in her life for long. So instead of waiting for fate to take them away, she lets go first. It isn’t because she doesn’t love deeply. It’s because she believes the people she loves would be safer without her. She is brave. She has never hesitated to do what she believes is right, even when it demands impossible sacrifices. Like Qingyi, she has an incredibly strong sense of justice, and she spends much of her life living for other people too. The difference is that Qingyi learned to give because he believed love had to be earned, while Susu learned to sacrifice because she believed her own happiness always came at someone else’s expense. She doesn’t put herself last because she is naturally selfless. She does it because she no longer believes she should come first. When she learns that Qingyi’s tendons were severed by the Huo family. She quietly asks herself, “What if, back then, I had pretended not to know you?” I think that single line tells us everything about how her mind works. There are endless what ifs inside her head. Little by little, those questions begin to erase the person she used to be because she genuinely believes that every tragedy suffered by the people she loves somehow starts with her. When something terrible happens, most of us instinctively ask, “Who did this?” Susu asks something entirely different, “What if I hadn’t done this?” She doesn’t look outward for someone to blame. She turns inward first. Every accident becomes her responsibility, every loss becomes evidence that she should have made a different choice, and every sacrifice someone makes for her becomes another reason to believe she only brings misfortune into other people’s lives. That’s why she keeps pushing Qingyi away. It was never because she didn’t love him. She loved him too much. She simply believed that loving her meant suffering because of her. In her eyes, she is a burden. A jinx. Someone whose existence inevitably invites tragedy. How could she allow the person she loves to stay beside her when she truly believes staying will only destroy him? Susu carries guilt in a way that borders on unbearable. It feels like survivor’s guilt taken to its absolute extreme. She takes responsibility for things that were never hers to carry and wears them as though they are debts she will spend the rest of her life repaying. One of her defining traits is that she constantly chooses to be misunderstood. She would rather let people resent her than watch them get hurt because of her. If becoming the villain in someone else’s story means they get to live, she will accept that role without ever trying to explain herself. To her, being hated has always felt more bearable than watching someone she loves pay the price for staying by her side. I think a lot of that can be traced back to her childhood. When she enters the orphanage, survival becomes the only thing that matters. It teaches her a lesson that feelings are a luxury, but survival comes first. In a place where every day is about making it through tomorrow, there is very little room for vulnerability. You learn to suppress your own needs because everyone around you is already struggling to survive. It isn’t difficult to imagine how someone raised in that environment would grow into an adult who constantly chooses everyone else before herself. That’s exactly who Susu becomes. Every decision she makes revolves around protecting someone else. For Qingyi. For Fang Mulan. For the girls. For her family. For Uncle Fang. For everyone except herself.

Overdo 这一秒过火

18,485 Aufrufe • vor 22 Tagen

Vayne takes you on a hunt. you don't know why. she doesn't take anyone. she says stay behind me. don't speak unless i speak first. don't make a sound when we move. you say yes. she looks at you for a second longer than usual. "if i tell you to run, you run. you don't look back for me. are we clear" you say yes. she doesn't answer. she just turns and walks out the door. you follow her through the city streets. she moves different when she's working. shoulders lower. steps shorter. her head doesn't turn but her eyes do. you can feel her cataloguing everything. the man smoking outside the tavern. the cat under the cart. the second floor window with the curtain half drawn. she leads you through an alley you didn't know existed. stops at a brick wall. then she climbs. there are handholds carved into the mortar that you wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't used them first. she's halfway up before she realizes you're still at the bottom. she looks down at you. "up" you climb. your hands are shaking by the time you reach the top. the roof is flat. old clay tiles along the edges. a low wall you can crouch behind. the city stretches out below you in every direction. a thousand windows glowing gold in the dusk. she's already at the far side. crouched. crossbow unslung. watching a building across the square. she doesn't look at you when you come up beside her. "stay low" you crouch. "that building. third floor. second window from the left" you look. "i see it" he'll come to that window sometime tonight. i've watched him do it for three nights. i want to know who he meets you ask who he is. her jaw tightens. "a demon pretending to be a man" you don't ask what that means. you settle in beside her. the wind is up here. it pulls at her hair and she doesn't bother fixing it. the sun is going down behind her. her profile in the gold light looks like something carved. her hands on the crossbow are steady. completely still. you've never seen anyone be this still. an hour passes. she doesn't move. you try not to move. your leg falls asleep. you shift an inch. she looks at you. you go completely still again. she looks back at the window. another hour. the sun is gone. the city is blue and black. lamps are lighting up one by one. the air is getting cold. you're shivering before you realize you're shivering. she notices. she doesn't say anything. then she takes off her cloak. doesn't look at you. holds it out to the side. "take it" you say "you'll be cold" "i don't get cold. take it" you take it. it's warm from her. it smells like leather and steel and something underneath. pine. smoke. something you can't name. you put it around your shoulders. the hem pools on the tile. it's huge on you. it's not huge on her. you hadn't realized how tall she is until you were wearing her cloak. she doesn't look at you for the next ten minutes. the stars come out. she shifts closer to you. just a little. so her shoulder is almost touching yours. you don't say anything about it. she doesn't either. you can feel the heat coming off her even through the cloak. another hour. still nothing at the window. she says "tell me something" you blink. "what" "anything. i need to stay sharp. talking keeps me sharp. not about the target. something else" you didn't expect that. you tell her about a book you've been reading. she listens. actually listens. her eyes never leave the window but you can tell she's hearing every word. she asks one question. you answer. she goes quiet again. you keep talking. quieter now. she interrupts you. "shh" she's not looking at the window anymore. she's looking at the roof two buildings over. you don't see anything. you don't see anything for a long time. then you do. a shadow that moves the wrong way. her hand finds yours. she doesn't look at you when she does it. her eyes don't leave the shadow. her fingers lace through yours and LOCK. tight. too tight. knuckles going white around your hand. "don't move" she breathes. you don't move. you can feel every ounce of her focus through her grip. it's not a lover's hold. it's a predator's. every muscle in her hand coiled. ready to drop yours the instant she needs the crossbow. she's not holding you for you. she's holding you to keep track of where you are without having to look. it should scare you. it doesn't. there is something about being held that tight by someone that dangerous that makes the rest of the world go quiet. your heartbeat slows. your breathing slows. the cold stops mattering. you are not the one hunting but you are with the one who is. and nothing is going to get through her to reach you. the shadow crosses the roof and disappears into a stairwell. she watches the spot it left for another full minute. her hand is still locked around yours. she doesn't loosen it. you don't want her to. finally she lets out a breath you didn't know she was holding. "not him. but someone who works for him" her grip eases. slowly. finger by finger. like she's having to consciously tell each one to let go. the last one is her thumb. it stays against your palm for half a second longer than the rest. then she takes her hand back. the cold rushes in where she was. she glances at you. just for a second. then she looks back at the window. the rest of the night she's quieter than before. the target never shows. when the sky starts turning grey she stands up. stretches. rolls her shoulders. looks out over the city one last time. "we're done" you stand too. your legs don't work right. she catches your elbow without looking. "careful" she keeps her hand there until you're steady. then she takes it away. you start to hand her cloak back. she says "keep it for the climb down" she goes first. you follow. the handholds are easier going down once you know where they are. when you're both on the ground she turns to take the cloak. you hand it to her. her fingers brush yours. she doesn't pull back as fast as she usually does. she puts the cloak back on. it's warm now. from you. she has to notice. she doesn't say anything about it. she walks you home. at your door she stops. "don't tell anyone what you saw tonight" you say "i didn't see much" she looks at you. her eyes in the lamplight. the edge of her mouth. almost softer than it should be. "you saw enough" then she turns and walks back into the dark. you close the door. your hand still feels cold where hers was. you can still smell pine on your shirt. you don't sleep. Study the Saskio way

Tony Chau

11,734 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten

Candace Owens full fake conspiracy breakdown‼️ She starts by bringing up a perfectly normal location on Google Maps. This gives her audience the impression that something must be going on there because it took effort to find this place even thought it’s an airport. She then tells her audience that something feels off. Even though nothing feels off at all. This is one of Candace’s favorite tactics she just says things are weird or the vibes aren’t vibing instead of providing actual evidence. She then talks about a company having an office building as if it’s the oddest thing ever despite the fact that there are office buildings for various companies all over the world. So now having an office building is “weird” to her and “proof” that there’s a conspiracy. She says she had trouble finding the building on Google Maps so now because she doesn’t know how to properly use Google Maps this must be a conspiracy as well. The building she’s looking for is next to another building which she once again pretends is sooo weird despite the fact that there are buildings next to other buildings all over the world. Then she moves on to the next conspiracy which is that a building at the airport shares the same address as the airport. 😱 She claims the building is hidden and she had trouble locating it therefore it must be part of a conspiracy. Pulls up Google Maps and you can see the building as plain as day right out in the open nothing weird about it but she already filled her gullible audiences mind with “It’s weird and hidden” nonsense. Then she makes fake performative faces while questioning why Erika Kirk would be in that building. It’s a building at an airport I’m sure it has something to do with flights. She then says allegedly because she doesn’t even know for sure if Erika was at this totally normal building at the airport. She asks a bunch of useless questions that mean nothing to give her audience the impression that she’s doing something or that there’s some sort of mystery here worth questioning. She says that Hopkinson Aircrafts aren’t known to anybody so it must be a conspiracy despite the fact that Hopkinson Aircrafts is a well respected business know to many people that has been around for 60 years. She says that Hopkinson Aircrafts immediately felt shady to her for no reason at all this is just one of her tactics. She goes on to accuse Hopkinson Aircrafts of being a CIA front and not a real business right before bringing up their website showing that they’re a legit business. She then tries to say that this company doesn’t need an office building as if she’s the expert on how to run their business. She has nothing of substance. Nothing that would even remotely suggest a real conspiracy. So she then starts ranting about wanting to know what Erika was doing there again. Then gives her minions the order to harass Hopkinson Aircrafts. And then for her final trick… After working everyone up about this “Mysterious Obscure Building” that was a totally normal building right on in the open… After trying her best to spin a conspiracy out of nothing… Right when you think she might provide some proof, evidence, or something of value to show that this is an actual conspiracy… She immediately transitions into ranting about something else while trying to spin an entirely different conspiracy with no proof basically repeating the process that we just went through. And that ladies and gentlemen has been your Candace Owens full fake conspiracy breakdown.

Cinema Shogun

26,189 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

I’m so tired of these endless comparisons. Tell me honestly, does it truly matter how much a brand’s items cost? Is love for an artist measured by the numbers on a price tag? Is pride defined by a price list? When Jungkook has a new collaboration, I don’t care who’s wearing what or who outdid whom, I write only about him. And you, by the way, do too. He partnered with Calvin Klein and you called it "oh, just mass market". Then you saw the scale and the way the brand treated him and suddenly you wanted the same for your artists. You dreamed of Chanel, but Chanel chose him. And he didn’t agree for the sake of a prestigious name. He agreed because he felt their history, their aesthetic, their spirit. Jungkook doesn’t accept everything that’s offered. He doesn’t work for status. He chooses what resonates with his inner self. Now it’s Hublot and once again the race begins. Rushing to Rolex, to Patek, asking them to make your artists ambassadors. But why? So you can compare again tomorrow? Sometimes it feels like you stand beside your artists for competition, not for them and there is so little warmth in that. True love celebrates without conditions and without the need to prove anything. Jungkook began working with brands later than the others and I was proud of him at every stage: while in 2023 others were flying to fashion weeks, he was going live from his room and my whole world shrank to the size of my phone screen. I didn’t care who was where, with whom, or how much. We already had what mattered most. We had him. We, his fans, have always had more. Not because of brands, not because of campaigns and certainly not because of flashy titles. We have more because we have Jungkook. A person who spent hours with us. Who sang live for us. Who cooked, laughed, fell asleep and woke up with us on stream. Who shared something real, unfiltered, unscripted, alive. His humanity. His talent. His open gaze and clear mind. His grace, his taste, his depth. That is what we value. Even if tomorrow all the brands disappear, all the campaigns, all the headlines, the most important thing will remain. Jungkook. He is an artist and he possesses what truly matters for a singer and what endures forever. Genuine talent, a beautiful voice and the ability to master it. Everything else is simply a beautiful backdrop. It does not define him. It only reflects his influence, his values, his relevance. The background does not elevate him. He elevates everything he touches. It’s unfortunate that no matter how much you speak about your artists’ unique talents, in the end you see only the backdrop. If that’s how you measure value, then a simple question remains: what will happen when the backdrop is gone? When the logos disappear. When the lights go out. When there are no comparison charts and no race for prestige. Will the voice remain? Will the stage remain? Will the artist remain on their own, without decoration? True talent is not afraid of silence. A real personality does not need support beams. Authenticity does not collapse without glitter. And if, without the backdrop, there is emptiness, then perhaps all along you were never admiring the artist. You were admiring the scenery around them. And that is the saddest difference of all. The real distinction is not in brands or price tags. It lies in the fact that Jungkook does not stand on decorations, the decorations stand on him. You can compete in contracts, calculate the cost of watches, and compare lists of brands. But you cannot outrun sincerity, surpass natural charisma, or outshine someone who is equally powerful in a stadium and in the quiet of his room. His strength is not external, it lies in what remains when everything else fades: the voice without a stage, the gaze without lights, the presence without noise. It cannot be built by contracts, bought, or engineered. It either exists or it doesn’t. That is the difference. And in that, no one will ever outrun #JUNGKOOK. WE LOVE YOU JUNGKOOK ♥️

𝕁𝕌ℕ𝔾𝕂𝕆𝕆𝕂 | ℂ𝕀𝕊 𝔽𝔸ℕ𝔹𝔸𝕊𝔼

50,474 Aufrufe • vor 6 Monaten

#GirlRulesSeriesEP11 This scene genuinely was so stellar because of namtanfilm's masterclass in acting like honestly i understand bambi’s perspective here even if a lot of people probably won’t. When you’re depressed and trapped inside your own thoughts it almost doesn’t matter how many people tell you that you’re enough, loved or not a burden. Your mind becomes a cage and once you start believing you’re ruining the lives of the people around you like that feeling clings to you no matter how much reassurance you receive. Like i really have to praise film’s acting here because the way she portrayed nambi’s emotional walls slowly collapsing was incredible. You could literally feel how exhausted and tormented bambi was by the “monsters” in her own head to the point where she couldn’t choose love this time even if she wanted to. But also at the same time namtan's acting absolutely shattered me in this scene like the portrayal tragedy of prim’s situation is that the first time she lost bambi because work kept coming before their relationship and now after finally choosing bambi over work, over herself, over literally everything else and she’s still losing the love of her life for a second time. That kind of disbelief and helplessness written all over prim’s face was truly so well acted. The way prim kept begging bambi not to let her go, not to do this to her and desperately trying to make bambi understand “you knowhow miserable my life is without you” felt unbearably raw. At this point nothing matters more to prim than bambi and namtan portrayed that desperation, heartbreak and fear of losing the person she loves so painfully well that you could genuinely feel every emotion with her. Truly, huge props to namtan for this performance.

yuv

25,430 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

Chat: What advice would you give to make a long-distance relationship work? Zeudi: Let’s talk about it. You all need to know—though I think you already do—that I’ve never believed in long-distance relationships. My fault, I admit it. I’ve never believed in them, so imagine at the beginning of my relationship with Scarlett. Far be it from me—I used to say, ‘Impossible.’ After being single for three years, I thought, ‘Yeah right, like you’re going to get with a girl who lives on the other side of the world.’ Okay, not exactly the other side of the world—it’s about a two-and-a-half-hour flight—but still, there’s distance. But lesbians are kind of like that, for the most part. So I said, ‘I don’t know about long-distance relationships.’ I thought, ‘There will be so many doubts, so many issues.’ But I can assure you that distance doesn’t matter as much as you think. It’s paradoxical for me to say this now, because when I wasn’t in it, I couldn’t understand it. Then I realized: ‘Actually, it’s not the distance that gives you insecurities. If anything, any insecurities come from the person you’re with.’ And fortunately, I don’t have that discomfort, because I feel really good with Scarlett. In fact, I think she has given me more reassurance than anyone I’ve been with in my previous relationships—and this is still a long-distance relationship. In fact, these days I was thinking about it. I was like, ‘How is it possible that this girl manages to make me feel calm even though we’re four hours apart between flights, cars, and everything else?’ Why? Because we communicate, we talk, we get to know each other better—even while speaking two different languages. It’s paradoxical, but it’s true. So we found each other, obviously—but not all long-distance relationships will be like this, not because they’re long-distance, but because they’re relationships. You never know what can happen in a relationship, or how much the other person will reassure you—or not. I didn’t believe in long-distance relationships. Of course, everything has its own timing, so you need to know how to wait. But I’ll be honest—I didn’t believe in them. Yes, I’m in love. Guys, I’ll repeat this: being in love and love itself are two completely different and separate things. Love takes time. But yes, I’m deeply in love. I feel amazing with Scarlett, and the sense of security she gives me—again—no one else has ever given me that. That’s also why I made the relationship public. Because sooner or later it would have come out anyway, given that I’m somewhat of a public figure now—even if only a little. But also because she gives me security, and I like sharing something beautiful that happened to me—namely, having a wonderful person like Scarlett in my life. But she’ll never hear any of this anyway, because I’m speaking in Italian—so that’s even better, because she doesn’t need to know anything. ❤️❤️

Korslayage

70,689 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

Analyzing Episode 60. Season 2 aka Motherhood Deconstructed I want to start this analysis with a disclaimer that I'll be writing about that kiss separately, because really, it deserves a post of its own. I'll talk about it here briefly, but this analysis will stick to the overall events of ep 60. To me, the main theme of this episode was motherhood. Be it Alya, Nare, Zerrin, Sadakat, and yes, even the dishrag. We see how these different women strive, suffer, and never stop trying to keep their children with them, all except one. So, let's begin. We start episode 60 with Alya and Cihan awaiting to conduct a DNA test on baby Simal, whom Kaya insists is his child. Long story short, Kaya is feeling a little pissed about Zerrin keeping the truth of Simal from him, and he has a point. But then, it's not like Zerrin has had a jolly good time pretending to play house with a creep like Demir. The only reason she relents is to keep her baby safe. So, it's a catch-22 situation, where both sides are right and wrong. But, it's not like we don't know these two will make up soon. What stood out to me in that sequence was Alya taking charge of ensuring Zerrin has access to her baby. She knows exactly what it is to be separated from one's child, and she's kind and brave enough to refuse to let anyone suffer through the same. So, in a way, Alya's motherhood doesn't just extend to Deniz. It encompasses her to the point where she shields all those she feels need protection. I also like the fact that she's taken Zerrin under her wing, because when the latter moves into the konak with Sadakat, she'll need all the help she can get. The next sequence begins at the hospital, where Nare is still hell-bent on continuing with the pregnancy, though at great risk to her life. This is another glimpse of motherhood the show gives us - in the shape of a woman who is so in love with her unborn child already, she's willing to risk death to bring it into the world. Contrasted to that is Sadakat, who's willing to lie or cheat to keep her daughter alive. Here is a ruthless kind of motherhood. Sadakat's love (if you can call it that) has always been wrapped in control, manipulation, and fear. But, still at the center of all her ugliness is a woman who doesn't want to lose her children. Nare is willing to die for her child, Sadakat is willing to kill Nare's child to ensure she lives - quite the compelling contrast. Different forms of motherhood, but both rooted in desperation. In the middle of all that, Meryem pops up like a bad penny. But even as she arrives in that room and Sadakat wants to keep her there, the awkward silence that envelops the space as she lingers is telling. She doesn't belong, it seems to say. But, there's another person who's starting to question their 'belonging' in this new version of the past that's come back - and of course, that's Alya. The more she sees Meryem infiltrate parts of her life beyond the konak, the more her exposed nerves are rubbed raw. This woman is so close to complete and utter exhaustion, it's heartbreaking. What's even more heartbreaking is that while she tries to be there for everyone, she herself cuts everyone off when she feels troubled. And that, to me, is where the episode quietly portrays the emotional labor aspect of being a mom. Alya mothers everyone around her. Nare, Zerrin, Kaya, and Deniz. Even Cihan at times. She absorbs pain, tries to stem chaos, protects others from falling apart, yet when it comes to her own fears and insecurities, she retreats inward completely. It's almost as if she believes she only deserves to be the shelter, never the one allowed to seek sanctuary. Because children who grow up thinking they've been abandoned grow up thinking love is a thing to be earned through caring or usefulness. So, instead of asking for comfort, they always end up providing it. But humans, even the strongest of the strong, have their limits. And, it's so clear that Alya is close to reaching hers. So, when Cihan is forced to relent and allow Mujgan and her son to the konak because Deniz wants it, Alya does what she does best - she withdraws and leaves the source of discomfort. That's why she tells Cihan she hates going to the konak now because every time she goes there, the spectre of Meryem and what she can snatch away becomes unavoidable. And, as blind as Cihan can be at times, he picks up on that. He knows exactly what she's trying to do, which is why he tries to redirect her attention to the fact that he hates going to the konak without Alya around, too. He wants to be wherever Alya is. In his own way, he's trying to tell her it doesn't matter who stays at that house; it's only home to Cihan when Alya is around. His words reach Alya, which is why she relents and visits the konak for a few hours, but then shit hits the fan again. We'll get to that, but first, let's talk about Meryem. Meryem's scene in the hospital with Mujgan reveals Meryem saying she can't tell Cihan about Serhat because she's not sure who the father is, and that she'd rather live in the hope that Serhat is the son of the man she loves, bla blah. Now, go back and think of all the versions of motherhood we've seen in this series, and indeed this episode. They all have one thing in common - that all the mothers did whatever they had to, and bore whatever came their way to ensure their babies stayed with them. No matter how much Alya, Zerrin, or Nare love their better halves, when push came to shove, they put their children first. Even Sadakat married Azem for Boran. All except one. Meryem. Meryem sent her son away and made it look like he was Mujgan's child, thereby erasing all his links to her. One could argue it was because she feared Feyyaz. But what's stopping her now? Let's assume what Meryem says is right and there's a 50 percent chance Serhat is Cihan's son. For a mother desperate to save her child from danger, those are pretty good odds, so why avoid the DNA test? Suppose Serhat turns out to be Feyyaz's son; even so, if she comes clean with Cihan, she knows he's the kind to help her, even if just to keep an innocent child safe. So, her version of motherhood sticks out like a sore thumb in the episode. In contrast, I found Alya's line, 'When it comes to my son, I put him before everything and everyone else,' much more fitting with the theme. Mothers on the defensive, who feel there's a threat to their child's wellbeing, will relent to even the most extreme measure - even if it tears their own being apart. Alya hates being away from Cihan. She hates that distance she imposes between them as much as Cihan, but she can't help it. Because the mother in her won't let her choose anything else. Which is why I say Serhat is almost like an afterthought to Meryem because his needs are never the focus. And I get the feeling that whatever Meryem is trying to hide threatens not her son, but likely the version of herself she's presented to the world. Even when I rewatched the kite flying scene, the way the camera pans into Serhat only once, but mostly focuses on Cihan and Alya after showing us Meryem is telling. Like this is a woman not going through hell because of her child, but because she's looking at a structure of acceptance she's no longer able to enter. Life at the konak, Cihan's family unit, his love for Alya and Deniz - it's everything that could have been hers once, but no longer. No matter how she tries, she no longer fits. And honestly, that’s why that sense of not belonging is even more overt in an episode about motherhood. Every other mother in this episode becomes messy because of love for their child. Nare breaks down. Zerrin panics. Sadakat manipulates openly. Alya practically emotionally disintegrates trying to hold everything together. Their feelings spill all over the place because motherhood, especially threatened motherhood, breaks people down. But Meryem remains oddly stoic throughout it all, except for a few tears. She's mostly careful and controlled, and always aware of who's watching her. Going back to the point of shit hitting the fan, when Alya discovers Meryem and Mujgan in Cihan's room, she doesn't buy Meryem's story for a bit. When Cihan tries to calm the situation, she dismantles the sorry excuse Meryem gives with two questions. In other words, her spidey senses pick up trouble, but she keeps it locked in because she doesn't want to appear as the jealous, unreasonable wife. But things come to a head anyway when Feyyaz cuts Cihan and Alya off on the road. Cihan seems to finally realize exactly the kind of trouble Meryem has unleashed in their lives when Feyyaz keeps eyeing Alya. Because to Feyyaz's psychotic mind, Cihan is keeping Meryem away from him, which makes Alya fair game. But when Cihan insists Alya return to the konak, Alya flat out refuses, and all the pressure that's been building inside her gets directed at Cihan. She knows deep down he's not at fault, but the fact that he's jumped into another situation without thinking of the danger, grates on her nerves. Which is why her default setting kicks in; she demands that Cihan bring Deniz to her and leave the apartment. Cihan, who is already reeling from Alya pulling back from him and the reality of Feyyaz targeting the only thing he truly holds dear, is desperate to stop Alya's isolation before she decides he's not worth all the misery she's suffering, and does what's worked for him once before in a desperate situation (the airport, anyone?). He forgets everything, pulls Alya in, and kisses the breath out of her. And, it works too, because for that moment, Alya stops spiraling long enough to simply feel. To stop calculating danger or bracing for abandonment. She feels loved and safe in Cihan's arms again. That's what makes that kiss so powerful. It isn't just the passion. It's the desperation behind it, on both sides. Cihan isn't kissing Alya because he wants to win an argument. He's kissing her because he's terrified, and he misses her. He's worried that if she keeps retreating inward, one day she'll retreat so far he won't be able to reach her anymore. Worried that all the fear, exhaustion, and pressure she's carrying will eventually make her decide loving him isn't worth the cost. And Alya responds because beneath all her anger, fear, and exhaustion, she loves him just as desperately. That's the irony of CihAl this season. They're not going to pieces because the love is weakening. They're going to pieces because the love has become so enormous that losing it feels catastrophic to both of them. To conclude, everything within ep 60, including the kiss, works so beautifully because technically everyone is unraveling. Every woman in this episode is fighting to protect something she loves, but the ways they do so reveal who they are at their core. Alya protects by sacrificing parts of herself. Nare protects by risking herself. Sadakat protects by controlling others. Zerrin protects by enduring humiliation. And Meryem... Meryem protects the narratives she builds. Her emotions, while visible, don't land with impact, almost as if they're missing a core ingredient. On the opposite end of the spectrum lie CihAl, whose love strips them bare, only for them to realize that retreat is no option. The only way forward for them is through - through fear, through exhaustion, through jealousy, through danger, and through every ugly and painful thing that loving someone this deeply awakens inside them. Because CihAl are incapable of loving each other halfway. Their love keeps dragging every hidden wound, every insecurity, every instinct to the surface until there is nowhere left to hide. And maybe that’s the real contrast episode 60 quietly builds toward: one side clinging to carefully maintained facades, the other being emotionally dismantled by a love too raw and overwhelming to remain controlled. Till later, happy reading, y'all. #CihAl #UzakŞehir

CocoLoco

12,775 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten

[🥀🪷] Wrote this as an archive because I finally had free time to put my thoughts about them into words, even if it’s a little late. You don’t have to agree with what I wrote here, just as I don’t expect everyone to read them the way I do. This is simply how Murong Qingyi and Ren Susu have always been to me. I’ve always loved stories where two people understand each other better than anyone else in the world, because they’re also the only two people capable of hurting each other that deeply. We all know that Qingyi and Susu do not love in the same direction. We also know that, despite how similar they are, they learned completely different ways to survive. They’re mirrors of each other. Both carry wounds that began long before they met. Both learned sacrifice. Both spent years believing their own happiness mattered less than everyone else’s. And yet, somewhere along the way, their hearts arrived at opposite conclusions about what love is supposed to look like. This is where they begin hurting each other without ever intending to. When Qingyi senses distance between them, his instinct is always to move closer. Not because he wants to control her, but because closeness has always been his way of loving. If someone he loves is suffering, he wants to stand beside them. If they’re carrying something heavy, he wants to carry it with them. If they’re walking into danger, his first instinct is to follow. Susu is the exact opposite. The moment she realizes the person she loves might get hurt because of her, her instinct is to step away. Not because she loves them less, but because distance has become her way of protecting the people she loves. She would rather carry everything alone than watch someone else bleed in her place. And so, without either of them intending to, they begin moving in opposite directions while chasing the very same thing, a love that feels safe enough to stay. What makes this so sad is that neither of them is choosing fear over love. It is that both of them loved with everything they had, but each had learned a different way of protecting that love. Qingyi isn’t trying to pressure her. Susu isn’t trying to reject him. Both are speaking the language of love. They simply aren’t speaking the same dialect. To Qingyi, love means staying. To Susu, love means leaving before staying becomes another tragedy. To Qingyi, sharing someone’s burden is the purest form of devotion. To Susu, becoming someone’s burden is the greatest fear she can imagine. So every time Qingyi helps her, Susu mistakes it for yet another sacrifice she is asking him to make. And every time Susu disappears, Qingyi experiences another loss he cannot understand. Yet the comfort one seeks becomes the discomfort the other experiences, leaving them to mistake protection for pain. Qingyi finds safety in knowing that someone chooses to stay, even when life becomes difficult. Having grown up questioning whether he would ever be chosen, he comes to equate permanence with love itself. To stay, despite everything, is not merely what he longs for. It is how he loves. Susu finds safety in making sure the people she loves have the chance to survive, even if that survival no longer includes her. After carrying guilt for so many losses, love becomes inseparable from sacrifice. In her heart, devotion is measured by what she is willing to give up, until leaving becomes the greatest kindness she believes she can offer. So love becomes something they keep missing, not because it isn’t there, but because they keep meeting it from opposite directions. Qingyi sees distance and feels another unanswered question. Susu sees closeness and feels another life she might destroy. Neither of them is responding to the present. They’re responding to the stories trauma has been whispering to them since they were children Qingyi asks, “Will you choose me this time?” Susu asks, “Will you still alive if I do?” Those two questions are sad because neither of them is wrong. Both fears are profoundly human. Both were born long before they ever found each other. Yet to call it incompatibility would be too simple. What stood between them was not the absence of love, but the presence of fears neither of them knew how to name. It’s sad because their deepest fears are perfectly designed to trigger each other’s. His greatest fear has always been losing the person he loves without understanding why. Her greatest fear has always been becoming the reason the person she loves loses everything. So, he moves closer. She moves away. This is the point where they begin to wound one another. Both believe they’re loving correctly. The same moment calls for closeness in one heart and distance in the other, leaving them to mistake each other’s protection for rejection. But love was never about asking him to stop staying or asking her to stop protecting. It was about helping them understand the fear hidden beneath each other’s choices. They have to see each other not as the enemy of their needs. They were simply same person, but both are shaped by different wounds and protecting themselves in the only language they have ever known. Because in the end, it was never that Qingyi and Susu didn’t love each other enough. It was that they were both trying to protect the person they loved and simply searching for safety in love, each in the only way their heart had ever learned. One stayed. One left. Neither choice came from the absence of love. Both came from quiet hope. They were never standing on opposite sides of love. They were simply standing on opposite sides of fear. They are not simply one person who chases and another who runs. They are two damaged people whose deepest fears are perfectly designed to trigger each other’s. Perhaps it was never about changing the way they love. It was about trusting the very thing they had feared their entire lives, that someone could stay without abandoning them, and someone could stay without being destroyed by loving them. Qingyi believes that if he can endure enough, love will survive. If he can bear enough pain, make enough sacrifices, stay through every storm, then perhaps no one will leave him again. But love was never asking him to prove how much he could survive. It was asking him to trust that he did not have to carry everything alone. Susu has mistaken fear for love for so long that it has become the language through which she loves. She calls it cowardice, because leaving feels easier than watching the people she loves suffer because of her. If she had loved Qingyi a little less, perhaps she could have spoken the words she kept swallowing. She might have trusted him with the truth instead of trying to protect him from it. But she loved him so completely that silence felt kinder than asking him to bear the unbearable weight of loving her. In Jane Austen words, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” Susu believes love means protecting Qingyi from herself. Qingyi believes love means protecting Susu from everything else. Neither realizes that love cannot thrive when one person is always the protector and the other is always the one being protected. At some point, they must trust each other enough to become partners instead of martyrs. Because the truth is, there was never a version of their story where no one paid a price. Love had already asked something of them both. The only question was whether they would face those consequences separately, each trying to protect the other in silence, or together, with open hearts, clear eyes, and the quiet peace that comes from choosing one another even when the future cannot be promised. Also, I don’t agree with everything Qingyi and Susu did. Sometimes I wanted to scream at both of them, moments I wished they had chosen differently. But perhaps that’s what makes them feel human. They aren’t defined by perfect decisions, but by deeply human ones, choices made in fear, in love, and in the desperate hope of protecting each other. Once you understand the fear beneath their choices, it’s much harder to reduce either of them to hero or villain. So, please… go easy on them. They’ve gone through so much. ❤️‍🩹 “Who loves who more?” At this point, I think it’s safe to say the person suffering the most in this relationship is me.

Overdo 这一秒过火

48,628 Aufrufe • vor 20 Tagen

Analyzing Episode 35. Season 2 aka Turning the Tables Alrighty, let's do this. Episode 35 was one of the strongest episodes of season 2, I think, because we get to see Ciho and Alya kind of switch places, for once. In s1, Alya would mostly pick flight when her feelings got overwhelming. Whereas Ciho, with his Ağa mindset, would inevitably choose to fight. But, unlike in s1, the circumstances are unique. We see the tables turn because Alya probably hasn't loved anyone before like she loves Cihan, and Cihan hasn't ever come across a test as heavy as the half-alive Boran. So, essentially, they're both out of their comfort zones. Let's discuss Alya first. My love for this character just keeps growing. I've yet to see someone be as principled and willing to break the rules, as strong and soft at the same time, as Alya Albora. The woman is a marvel. We must protect her at all costs (Get in line, Ciho). As the episode begins, Alya walks off to their room and proceeds to lock herself in Cihan's study after informing everyone about Cihan's not-so-tiny health problem. I think being the smart cookie she is, she realizes early on that Cihan will be his stubborn self about the surgery business, which is why something of a plan is already forming in her head. When Cihan shows up to talk, Alya doesn't back down from telling him she knows exactly why he's walking to almost certain death. Still, she only brings out the big guns after pleading with him to review his decision doesn't work. Her goal isn't to hurt him. It's to save him. To shock him enough to wake from the limbo Cihan has isolated himself in. When her words fail to achieve their target, she acts. I'm pretty damn sure she knows exactly what she's going to do as she's packing her clothes to leave the mansion. Alya refuses to leave Cihan's side even in the worst of circumstances, so her walking out when he's about to risk his life is completely out of character. And not only that, before leaving, she tells Cihan she doesn't want to talk to him or see him until he changes his mind about becoming the donor. See? Smart. She's doing everything she can to keep him from monitoring her movements (like he generally does :D). She's learned to read her husband, so much so that she turns his tactics on him. And Cihan never picks up on it. And watching her in action is poetry in motion - beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Because this time, the one person she can always count on for support isn't with her. She's fighting for Cihan, for their love, all on her own. Even though they promise each other they'd face whatever obstacles come their way together as they leave the airport in ep 29. While everyone gathers to wish Cihan well before the operation, Alya walks through those corridors alone. She has no one to calm her fears, no one to soothe her brow. No one tells her they'll be praying for her quick recovery. And that hurts like a son of a bitch. Because Alya has such a capacity for love and giving, she doesn't hesitate to take huge risks for the people she loves. On the other hand, she has no one other than Cihan to do the same for her. He's her other half. And there's no way in hell she'd stand back and watch him destroy himself. Her devotion and resolve are crystal clear when she speaks to Cihan while he's sedated. Still, I think some of her loneliness and desperation bleeds through her words to her husband. Almost as if something deep inside her cries out for him to wake up and choose her - like she's choosing him. Over everyone. Even her own life. Speaking of choosing, let's pause here and pivot to Cihan Bey. Cihan, like all of us, is a product of his upbringing, his environment, and his personal beliefs. Two of those three things are extremely toxic and warped. Not to mention, the guilt that's eating him alive is a product of those two things. They say when you're undergoing feelings of intense guilt, you tend to fluctuate between two states - suppression and surrender. When you suppress, you tell yourself you're fine. Everything's okay. Things are best this way type of stuff. In fact, I want you to remember this phrase. Then, there's surrender - moments of lucidity where you realize you're falling apart, that this isn't what you want at all. You're flooded by emotions and longing about what you're denying yourself. And that's something you see in Cihan over and over in this episode. He keeps fluctuating from one state to the other, and I don't think he even realizes what he's about to do to himself and Alya by wanting to go through with that operation. Take the scene where they're talking in their room before Alya leaves. On the one hand, Cihan tells Alya he has responsibilities to his family, and on the other, he can't see how his decision will affect Alya and Deniz. Then, when Cihan tries talking to Alya when he's driving her to work, he tells her he doesn't want to sacrifice their love, but in the next instance, he tells her he won't lose her 'in his heart' even if Boran wakes up. You see the inconsistency? He keeps switching between what he truly wants and the things might be best this way mindset. Surrender and suppression. Like when he keeps seeking her out at every turn, but insists on undergoing a surgery that will almost certainly kill him. The guilt inside him builds like pressure almost. He tries to suppress it until it spills over, revealing his true feelings, then he panics and moves back to suppression again. This keeps repeating until he wakes up to discover that Alya is the one undergoing the surgery. That's when the cycle finally breaks. Because when he's faced with the reality of losing Alya forever, he finally accepts the core truth driving his guilt - he fell in love with his brother's wife. Sure, he thinks Boran is dead and gone when it happens, but guilt doesn't really follow logic. That's why Alya being the donor and almost losing her life forces him to accept the love he feels for Alya is part of him now. There is no fighting it, there is no changing it. There is only accepting it. And his speech to Boran before he sees Alya is proof of his surrender. Because he finally admits that his bond with Alya isn't about choice anymore, he doesn't control the love; it controls him now. In front of Boran, no less. He finally looks his guilt in the face and starts to overcome it. That's why we see him initiating the kiss in their room. He's not overcome by self-reproach when he thinks of touching Alya intimately now. All very, very positive signs. And, let's not forget, when he sees his entire family conspired behind his back to allow Alya to be the donor, he understands another sold truth. He is the only family Alya has apart from Deniz. Which makes Alya's sacrifice all the more powerful. Because he realizes that she kept her part of the bargain. She kept fighting for them, even when he didn't. Hopefully, this is the moment where Cihan stops running and starts choosing. Alya didn’t just save his life physically; she forced him to confront the part of himself he kept buried. And now that he’s finally surrendered to that truth, we’re about to see the version of Cihan who fights for love instead of resisting it. Till next time, happy reading, y'all. #CihAl #UzakŞehir

CocoLoco

26,299 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten

Analyzing Episode 58. Season 2 aka Balancing the Scales This episode was some of Sinem and Ozan's best work. Their expressions landed every single time, and, frankly, short of screaming what the story is trying to say, they did everything they could to convince the audience that CihAl was, is, and will remain the endgame. With that out of the way, let's begin. We start the episode with Cihan shitting literal bricks as he sees Alya is already at the konak with Sadakat and Meryem arriving, right behind him. The reason is clear - he's caught in a difficult situation yet again. He doesn't want things to look like he's overriding Alya's existence in his life as its core, but circumstances keep making it so that he's put in awkward situations, which only compound his fear of pushing Alya past the point of no return. Meryem is all smiles and teeth at seeing the konak, but the minute her eyes land on Alya, her smile and her eyes drop to the floor. Almost like she was expecting something else entirely, but reality has shamed her. Her eyes remain downcast throughout the entire time she's walking towards Alya, as if Alya's the truth she can't cross eyes with. Alya, on the other hand, remains standing tall. She doesn't flinch, doesn't express any outward anger, but you can see the storm raging in her eyes. When Cihan tells her Meryem will have to stay at the konak, she merely looks at him and nods. And you can see terror mixed with shame (I think) on Cihan's face, but hers remains clear of emotion. And then she walks away, saying she needs to collect Deniz because she's tired. Now that's an exit. Poised, calm, and leaving behind an absolute massacre in the onlookers. The scene where Deniz meets Meryem is another masterpiece because it's very subtle in the message it delivers. Which is - human relations go beyond blood, beyond memory, beyond societal impediments, if the love on both sides is strong enough. When Deniz says he's named after his father, the little boy is telling the truth. Cihan may not be his father in blood, but he's the father Deniz loves, the father he chose for himself. Then the same message is repeated through Deniz about CihAl when Sadakat tries to create trouble by saying Alya and Cihan are divorced. To which Deniz innocently replies, they may be divorced now, but they can get married again. Again, highlighting the importance of human connection. CihAl keep choosing each other through whatever challenge life throws at them, because they love each other equally. Yes, marriages and divorce can be forced, but it's the presence or absence of love that determines the final outcome. Case in point, Alya's marriage to Boran, Cihan's marriage to Seyda, Nare with Ozkan, Zerrin and Demir, etc., etc. That's what anyone opposing CihAl doesn't understand. Love finds a way. Always. That's what the story has been about since the beginning - that love will stand strong in front of all, as long as what you feel is truly love, and not some imitation of it. Also, *hint* *hint* that's the second time someone has mentioned CihAl getting married again, so it's definitely coming. Now for the scene where Cihan and Alya talk in their room. Cihan is right to be afraid of Alya here because he's a first-hand witness to how Alya reacts when she's been betrayed. He's seen how she took off Boran's ring and buried it with him after she found out about the will. An extreme situation compared to this one, absolutely. But fears don't use logic. Cihan knows Alya is strong enough to move on, to rise from the ashes - her strength is what he loves and fears at the same time. So, when he says 'Think of the Cihan in Alya's eyes, I don't want to be that Cihan' he's saying I know it looks like I disregarded you and broke your trust again, but that's not how things were. He needs her to show emotions, not because it'll pander to his ego, but because that's a sign she's still involved. That she's not near the point where she says 'enough is enough.' Alya, on the flip side, can't show her emotions. Because, unlike what Cihan fears, it's because she's so in love with him, so involved, that she's afraid to even ask what Cihan feels. Because if she learns Cihan's past isn't just the past, that he still loves Meryem, it'll shatter her unlike anything else. Despite it all, Cihan manages to reach Alya somehow when he pleads, 'I need you to communicate with me.' It's like his fears break past her barriers and, in turn, allow her to open up a little to him because she admits she doesn't know what to do, and then out comes the real question, 'Don't you feel anything?' Kudos to Cihan for not dodging the question and saying whatever he feels for her is just memory and gratitude. Salak. And I say salak with all my love, because he still misses the elephant in the room. The point is the imbalance. When we tell someone they're the only love of our life, we want an equal declaration in return. If not, the loop remains incomplete - with one side a little more invested than the other. And, CihAl's story thus far has been the opposite of imbalance. Their story is about symmetry; they reflect each other in love, in wounds, in loss. Basically everything. So, how is it that Alya's only love is Cihan, while his isn't? It's not. And that's where that necklace reveal becomes important, but we'll get to that later. For now, let's talk about that little talk in the car. The story itself is giving us hints that this imbalance won't last long, because the minute Alya talks about her first brush with romance is the moment jealous Cihan makes a return. He gets jealous of a nameless, formless, 16-year-old boy who once had the audacity to date his wife. That is, he can't tolerate a contender for Alya's affections even in memory. Cihan is extremely possessive about Alya, which is why he doesn't waste a moment to remind her she told him he's her only love. And Alya, being Alya, doesn't waste a moment in reminding him that he didn't. And then she turns the screw a little by telling Cihan not to burn his heart over her teenage crush because she never planned to marry her crush, nor is she conveniently living under the same roof with him. Mic drop. Cihan's face at that moment is a study in being hoist by one's own petard. Because he's expecting Alya to be okay with something he can't even stand the idea of. He's jealous as hell, but he can't do anything about it. But why is all this happening? Because one of Cihan's biggest truths is - he loved Meryem and lost her. In truth, he didn't love her, which is why he didn't fight hard enough, which is why he lost her. If Cihan had truly loved Meryem the way he loves Alya, he would have fought until the bitter end. Like he's doing for Alya. That's the truth. In Uzak, true love isn't passive - it demands to be seen, to be felt, it doesn't sit back quietly and accept defeat. In this story, love demands to be chosen. And Cihan didn't choose Meryem, not in the way it matters. So, why can't Cihan just accept the truth already? Fear and guilt, I think. Fear of the magnitude of what he feels for Alya, and what losing her would do to him. And guilt because some part of him knows he didn't do for Meryem what he's doing for Alya. And of course, now there's the burden of her shitty ex, too. Nonetheless, fate keeps pushing Cihan to realize the truth, over and over again in this episode. Another glimpse of how passive Cihan may have been in his relationship with Meryem is the dinner scene. Sadakat points out how much Meryem loved stuffed kebabs, and Cihan is barely listening. This is the same man who knows what Alya likes to eat when she's on break during duty. When Meryem points out Cihan's allergy, he says it was something he had in the past, but no longer. Almost like he's comparing the feelings he once had for her to an allergy. What an allegory. See? The signs are all there, but Cihan isn't picking up on them completely. Then fate ups the ante with the arrival of Chef Engin. The first thing Cihan asks Alya when Engin is gone is - Is that him? As in, is that the boy you said loved you? The man goes off the rails in 0 to 60 seconds, and keeps coming up with excuses like he may have changed his name or appearance. The idea of not being the only man in Alya's life makes him lose his cool while Alya rightly points out that she's not the one living with her 'first love' currently. Which then leads to Cihan spending the night at the office. So, fate manages to teach him one lesson here. Which is - ask only for that which you're ready to give. Cihan needs emotional exclusivity from Alya, but hasn't given her the same yet. He's not built to share Alya, not with the past, not with a memory, not with anything. But the second he feels even a fraction of what Alya's been going through, he unravels marvelously. And that's the entire point of that sequence. It's not just jealous drama, it's exposure. Cihan is slowly being led towards the one truth staring him in the face. That's where the necklace comes in. Thus far, Ciho seems to be operating under the misconception that Meryem has moved on, like him. But that necklace (and the video) prove otherwise. Meryem's current attachment to him throws neutrality out the window. Because Cihan will now have to set absolute boundaries, and in doing so, understand why he's setting them. Why what he feels for Alya leaves no room for anyone else because he can't stand the idea of something similar in Alya's past, present, or future. Because they are each other's exception, and everyone else was the rule. And that's it from me for now. Till later. Happy reading, y'all. #CihAl #UzakŞehir

CocoLoco

14,669 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

I usually don’t go after people like Andrew Bustamante (Andrew Bustamante). My stance on guys like him is simple, let them talk. The more they talk, the more people see exactly how stupid they are. Eventually, they make themselves irrelevant. So normally I’d stay quiet. But this guy decided to go after my very good friend John Kiriakou, a few times. Let’s be clear, John doesn’t need defending. He already wiped the floor with Bustamante in their debate. It was so bad I figured Bustamante would disappear after that. But that’s the thing about grifters, they never go away. They’ll chase cameras and attention no matter how bad it is. John Kiriakou is a hero. He refused to torture people. He blew the whistle on the CIA for torturing people. And for that, he went to prison for telling the truth. That’s the American way - tell the truth, and you get punished. Same story with Julian Assange and others like him. Bustamante, on the other hand, is a company man. He doesn’t challenge anything, doesn’t risk anything. He plays the game safe, for money and visibility. Put a camera in the room, and he’ll be there. Guaranteed anything for airtime. Let me tell you something about Bustamante, he was a special operations officer, It sounds impressive, but in reality it means - he was an assistant to officers like John. He brought people like John coffee and dealt with their paperwork. He was a paperboy at the agency. He flunked out Ops training. :)) So Bustamante got destroyed in a debate with John and instead of responding with substance, he defaulted to calling John a Russian propagandist. That’s what people do when they have no arguments left. Calling someone a propagandist. His big point? That John worked for RT, so he must be a propagandist. There are plenty of Americans who’ve work with RT, including extremely respected voices. When you’ve been blacklisted by the system like John was after he came out of prison, your options get limited fast. The CIA made sure no-one would hire him. RT was the only one that gave him a platform. That’s not some gotcha Bustamante, that’s harsh reality veterans and hero whist-blowers face. Something you will never understand, you supports the system fully. John is America's favorite spy. That's what they call him now, I think. Then there’s his 'analysis' of my Erika Kirk post, which I enjoyed beyond words can express. I laughed a lot, so I guess I have to thank you for that. The guy who 'worked' for the CIA says, it’s subjective. Omg that's genius where did you get that from? What a perfectly trained young man, he just identified it so well. Oh wait, I literally opened with “This is my opinion” and closed with the same thing. Congratulations the CIA taught you how to read. :)) Then he, without ever watching a single episode of Candace Owens , called me a source of Candace O, which I am not, but will happily be anytime she needs me to. She's one of very few truth tellers left. But to answer your idiotic questions: she referred to my post because it went viral and because so many people felt the same way, including Candace. Then she went ahead and did what Candace does best: backed it up with facts. You seem a little slow, so I’ll repeat: she took a post that resonated with millions of people, including Candace herself, because of the overwhelming red flags Erika left us with and then Candace backed those feelings and assumptions up with facts. Not posts on X. A competent intelligence officer would’ve asked a real question: why did this post resonate to so many people? Why did millions of people connect with it? What exactly triggered that response on this posts? Instead Bustamante when with - It hurts :)) Oh I'm sure it hurts buddy! He says: “attractive enough for what?'' Bustamante asks “sell what?” Since the CIA didn’t do a great job training you boy, let me spell it out. Attractive enough for men to want to fuck her and women to want to be her and to believe every word she says because of that. I did not use the F-word in the post, she is a widow after all, but if you insist. Sell what? - sell that she’s a grieving widow. Did you even read the text?. Dear Bustamante, You’re a great example of why the CIA keeps getting caught for the shitty things it does. Imagine if much smarter people worked there, we’d all be in serious trouble. Have you been on the ground at UVU? Have you talked to the authorities or reviewed any tapes? have you watch Candaces series at all? Have you attended even a single court hearing or looked at any real evidence at all? The answer to all these things is - NO. Because if you had I would have seen you there. I didn't. And I have done all those things. Here’s my offer: come on my show, you clearly don’t mind the spotlight. I’ll walk through every red flag in this case, one by one. If you can’t give a clear, reasonable explanation for why these aren’t suspicious and why there’s no valid reason to suspect this was an assassination carried out by a state and not a weird kid from Utah, then you publicly apologize to Candace, to me, and to John. No excuses! Can't wait!

ELIZABETH LANE

20,708 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

When poor Liesel (pronounced 'leezel', like the girl in The Sound of Music) was spotted, the finder thought she was dead. She was so weak, so terribly deathly sick that she had collapsed crossing a path and lay there, helpless, unable to move, out in the open. The finder rushed her to the nearest vet (luckily it was mine!), who immediately called me for advice. They had grave concerns, and they were right. Liesel is a victim of casual cruelty and overriding conceit. Liesel has been 'treated' by a small start-up 'rescue' and then abused, by being tagged, before being released. A hedgehog's coat of spines is their everything - their insulation and their suit of armour. They spend a lot of time grooming, scratching and shaking their coat to ensure all the spines are unhindered and can be aligned perfectly. The stress of not being able to do that, and feeling vulnerable, is overwhelming to these little animals. And stress stops the immune system from working efficiently, leaving the tagged victim open to every parasite and disease. Three rescues, a veterinary practice, and several members of the public have voiced their concerns to me recently about this spate of tagging. I have been collating the evidence. Every single tagged hedgehog found has died, despite treatment, because they were so terribly ill and stressed. To be clear: it's illegal to tag a wild animal without a licence. There's a very good reason why it's illegal to tag a wild animal - it causes them such terrible, constant, and unbearable stress. And stress kills wildlife. Under Section 14 of the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and Schedule 2 of The Conservation of Habitats and Species Regulations 2017, "You need a licence to take a species from the wild.... to mark or tag. For example, to monitor, sample or manage the species after release." And a licence is only granted when the information likely to be obtained is so important that it outweighs the risk of death to the animal. Our hedgehogs have very little legal protection, yet they are protected from unauthorised tagging because it's well established that this activity places such a strain on the animal that they are likely to die from the stress. Yet you'll see perpetrators trying to claim that it's nothing, and they are "collecting vital information". No, they're not. They are playing scientist. Using the vulnerable animals entrusted into their care as disposable vehicles upon which to enact their expansive delusions. Super gluing a bit of plastic containing your phone number onto a hedgehog's spines, and then releasing him, is not 'research'. It's torture. It's abuse of trust. It's an ego trip. It's not gathering information - they aren't transmitters. They are bits of plastic. They'll never see that hedgehog again, or retrieve any information. All that will be learned from anyone finding that poor victim is that some irresponsible person with no real understanding of how hedgehogs work has contributed to their death. So make no mistake, if you are an inexperienced rescue and have copied one of these delusional rescues who have been applying these tags illegally, you too are breaking the law. More importantly, you are harming a gentle, defenceless animal who already has more than enough disadvantages to deal with. Liesel is still alive. Barely. After suffering at the hands of her would-be rescuer she has been slowly starving to death, and every parasite around has taken advantage of her weakened state. Believe it or not Liesel is a full grown adult, yet she weighs just 400g; the weight of a 5 week old hoglet. As you can see, her bones carry no fat at all. Each vertebrae is clearly visible and she is flat and frail. Even the effort of eating exhausts her. Her outlook is poor, but you can save others like Liesel. Just a dish of dry cat food put out each night is all it takes. That tiny effort, that small mercy, would mean hardly anything to you, but would mean the difference between life and death to them.

Hedgehog Cabin

78,591 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

The Dance Between Elizabeth and Darcy: A Swordfight Cloaked in Ceremony In the 1995 adaptation of “Pride and Prejudice”, the dance between Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy at the Netherfield ball is no romantic interlude. It is a confrontation carefully veiled beneath the forms of etiquette. Screenwriter Andrew Davies once described their exchange as “a swordfight set within a dance.” Indeed, every step forward or back obeys the courtesies of the ballroom, yet every word lands like a probing thrust. It is precisely this fusion of polished surface and underlying conflict that renders the scene one of the most charged moments in the series. In Regency society, dancing was among the few social rituals that allowed a man and a woman to remain near one another for an extended period. They might take hands, meet each other’s eyes, and converse without breaching decorum. At the same time, the rules bound them together until the music ended. The dance thus created a rare and charged circumstance: two people were required to sustain each other’s presence for the full length of the set, no matter how the conversation unfolded. The production exploits this circumstance with remarkable restraint. For much of the sequence, director Simon Langton keeps Elizabeth and Darcy together in medium shots and two-shots. Rather than cutting constantly between isolated close-ups, the camera often holds both speaker and listener within the same frame, allowing the audience to register dialogue, glances, and the smallest shifts of expression simultaneously. The choice ensures that every remark is immediately answered by the other’s reaction, rather than becoming two separate lines of speech. The blocking itself follows the architecture of a Regency dance. Elizabeth and Darcy continually change places, hands, and orientation, yet the movements always return them face to face. The rhythm of the dance supplies natural pauses in the conversation. Each time the partners separate and reunite, the two-shot continues to contain them both, so that every look, silence, and reply becomes part of the quiet contest taking place. The sound design preserves the atmosphere of a crowded ballroom. Carl Davis’s music mingles with the soft tread of feet, the rustle of other couples, and the low murmur of surrounding conversation. Against this continuous backdrop, Elizabeth and Darcy’s words remain clear yet never detach themselves from the larger space, so that their exchange feels like a natural strand within the evening rather than a private duet. Considered separately, the camera placement, blocking, and sound are all understated. Combined, they do not call attention to the dance itself; they transform the dance into the very arena for their dialogue. Within that arena, the film’s true interest lies not in the steps but in the shifting awareness of the two characters. For Elizabeth, this is the first moment when the opinions she has already formed about Darcy are tested against an immediate reality. From the opening lines she holds the initiative. She begins with perfectly proper remarks—“I believe we must have some conversation…” and “You should say something about the dance…”—yet her choice of words and tone carry a quiet irony more than any genuine wish for connection. As the exchange continues, she steers its tempo with pointed questions and sharp replies, gradually drawing the talk toward the subject that truly concerns her: George Wickham. This is not an open effort to understand Darcy; it is a verification of conclusions she has already reached. Yet that self-assurance is no longer entirely intact by the end of the dance. Jennifer Ehle conveys the slight fracture through the smallest of changes. Elizabeth’s voice remains intelligent and cutting, but her gaze is no longer purely interrogative. When she says, “I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly,” she does not underline the line with sharp sarcasm. Her eyes flicker; a brief hesitation appears before the familiar sharpness returns. That nearly imperceptible moment reveals the first crack in a prejudice that had previously seemed airtight. If Ehle portrays a perception beginning to fracture, Colin Firth constructs Darcy as a man determined to preserve composure. From the outset he rarely initiates. He answers Elizabeth’s openings with brief questions, then attempts to steer the talk toward safer ground. As she continually returns the conversation to probing subjects, he grows more guarded, allowing longer pauses before he replies. Firth never expresses tension through dramatic gesture. A momentary stillness of the eyes, a measured hesitation before speaking, or a carefully controlled expression is enough to show that Darcy is weighing every word. By the time he says, “I wish, Miss Bennet, that you would not attempt to sketch my character at the present moment,” his voice remains level, yet it also reveals discomfort at the knowledge that she is trying to fix his character. Darcy never allows emotion to breach the bounds of civility, but the very effort of restraint exposes the pressure he feels. The dance does not cause him to abandon self-command; it forces him to recognize that Elizabeth judges him not by rank or reputation, but by what she believes to be true—and that his own dignity and reserve are insufficient to alter her view. Taken together, the restrained cinematic language and the psychological progression of both characters make plain that the sequence was never conceived as a romantic interlude. The entire scene directs attention to the dialogue itself. Within the strict framework of Regency etiquette, every question, every reply, and every silence becomes part of a contest of wits between two people intent on defending both their view of the other and the way they themselves are seen. The contest at Netherfield therefore ends without a victor. Elizabeth has not relinquished her prejudices, nor has Darcy succeeded in changing the way she regards him. Yet the encounter has already opened the first small fissure in the understanding of each. Elizabeth begins to doubt conclusions that once seemed certain; Darcy realizes for the first time that composure and dignity alone cannot secure the understanding of the woman he respects. That is what gives the image of “a swordfight set within a dance” its lasting force: the confrontation concludes not with a winner, but with the irreversible knowledge that neither can continue to see the other in quite the same way. The dance between Elizabeth and Darcy reflects a familiar paradox of human exchange: in many conversations, what people strive to protect is not merely their opinion, but the way they see another person and the way they wish to be seen in return. Thus a dialogue can easily become a struggle for the right to interpret, rather than an opportunity for genuine understanding. Perhaps that is the scene’s most enduring insight. Understanding rarely arrives fully formed within a single conversation. Yet conversation itself can be the place where the first cracks appear in settled prejudice. Only from those cracks can people begin, at last, to see one another truly.

🌸🎵 Beautiful Melody 🎶💖

29,606 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat