Apply pressure on yourself. Finish the year stronger.

Discipline is a lie we tell ourselves when we don't understand what we actually want. I forced myself through meditation routines, workout schedules, and spiritual practices for years. But notice: you don't need discipline to eat when you're hungry or sleep when you're tired. When something genuinely calls to you, effort becomes effortless. Everything else is just elaborate self-torture.

Push now so the next version of you enters the new year already ten steps ahead.

Pursuer until you go to hospital will make you loose so such productivity to keep your work going. Or going to die, as you said will not get your work done. When it is time to work, do it. When it is time to rest do it. Period. No boredom between these 2.

I'll apply so much pressure I pass out and die