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Bethany Joy Lenz says she saved herself for marriage despite having a crazy sex drive… but claims once married, she felt sad, disconnected, and had zero sexual desire for her husband 😳 She says she was then put on a sex schedule and told it was her “duty as...

950,976 views • 5 months ago •via X (Twitter)

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“Saving myself for marriage was a waste.” Caller: “How do I deal with the bitterness and resentment growing toward my husband? I feel like he ruined sex for me. I grew up very religious. Nothing fun in the bedroom until marriage. I met him at 27 and we got married at 30. But our honeymoon felt more like a vacation than a honeymoon. He initiated maybe once the entire trip. The aggression, the lust, the passion… it just isn’t there. And I keep having this thought: If this was what sex was going to be like, I could have been having fun in my 20s. What was the point?” Dr. John Delony: “That’s not stupid at all. Not even a tiny bit. In religious communities especially, sex gets put on this pedestal. This pinnacle thing that’s supposed to change your life. Then their husband is tired or doesn’t have the libido they expected, and they look in the mirror and think, ‘It must be me. What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he desire me?’ And that starts a spiral that can become really hard to get a hold of.” And this is where the story gets deeper. The hard truth: She may not actually be angry that she waited. She may be angry because she was promised that waiting would lead to a specific experience and reality didn’t deliver it. She was taught that if she waited, marriage would unlock the intimacy, passion, and desire she had been told to expect. But marriage doesn’t come with a guaranteed libido. And a wedding ring can’t manufacture chemistry, confidence, communication, attraction, or sexual compatibility. That creates a painful realization: She traded one set of expectations for another and neither matched reality. But there’s another uncomfortable truth. Her husband’s lack of initiation doesn’t automatically mean she isn’t attractive or desirable. People have different libidos. Some struggle with shame around sex. Some carry their own religious conditioning into marriage. Some simply don’t experience desire in the way their partner expects. So the question can’t just be, “Why doesn’t he want me?” It has to become: “What is happening between us, and are we both willing to understand it and work on it?” Because resentment will turn a bedroom problem into a marriage problem. And she has every right to grieve the experience she thought she was going to have. But she also has a choice now. She can spend years calculating whether waiting was “worth it”… or she can stop mourning the sex life she imagined and start having the uncomfortable conversation required to build the one she actually wants.

DAVE

22,666 views • 1 month ago

My Aunt Debbie threw me a bridal shower last weekend🥹🤍 Debbie was such an inspiration and encouragement to me as I waited to find my husband. I believe it was 2023 when Debbie told me about her story of waiting years and years and never finding someone to marry. She tried to crush her desire for marriage, thinking the desire was pulling her away from God and that she was supposed to be single. Her 30s dwindled away, and it finally dawned on her that it was resoundingly God’s will for her to get married. God put that desire in her heart. She made a mental switch from trying to snuff out the desire for marriage to knowing her husband was on his way, sent by God. One day she was shopping with her sister and saw a wedding dress in a window on sale. She loved it. Her sis said, buy it! What a silly thing to buy when you don’t have a man, but she knew that man was on his way, so she bought the dress. Within the year, Debbie’s dream man came along, and they married. When she stopped all the mental conflict and accepted that God gives us the desires he’s placed in our hearts, it happened! Well, I was in the throes of dating failure when she told me this, so I clung to that story and kept reminding myself that a wonderful happy marriage is God’s will. All I have to do is get out of God’s way and let Him work. It took a couple years, but I fully solidified the knowing that I would be happily married. There was not a shadow of a doubt in my heart, and I wasn’t looking out there with my own understanding. I was looking to God. The only socializing I did was Bible study haha. That’s when God led me straight to the man I’m about to marry. So I thank Debbie for planting that seed of hope and for following up with a beautiful bridal shower that had me in tears of joy. #blessed!

Ivory Fritz

33,508 views • 1 month ago

A mom says her 5-year-old accidentally witnessed her and her husband having sex… now she’s worried she’s traumatized. Caller: I’m worried our 5-year-old may be traumatized after accidentally walking in on my husband and me having sex. I’m hoping I’m just overreacting. John Delony: Okay… I need the whole picture. Tell me what happened. Caller: We’re always careful to keep our bedroom door closed and locked, but she had a nightmare and somehow snuck into our room before we closed the door. She hid in our closet. Caller: I went to get dressed, turned on the closet light, and there she was with her face buried in her knees. John Delony: Oh… she had a nightmare, all right. Caller: I jumped back, grabbed a robe, asked her what she was doing, and she told me she’d had a nightmare. John Delony: Did she actually see anything? Caller: She said she didn’t… but where she was sitting, she probably could have seen everything. John Delony: What happened next? Caller: I picked her up, stayed calm, and told her, “If you did see anything, I’m really sorry. That wasn’t meant for your eyes. That’s something for adult husbands and wives.” John Delony: Perfect. Caller: She hasn’t brought it up since, but I’ve been worried all week. John Delony: You handled that about as perfectly as you could have. I’d be willing to bet there’s a 99.999% chance she saw some or all of it.
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A mom says her 5-year-old accidentally witnessed her and her husband having sex… now she’s worried she’s traumatized. Caller: I’m worried our 5-year-old may be traumatized after accidentally walking in on my husband and me having sex. I’m hoping I’m just overreacting. John Delony: Okay… I need the whole picture. Tell me what happened. Caller: We’re always careful to keep our bedroom door closed and locked, but she had a nightmare and somehow snuck into our room before we closed the door. She hid in our closet. Caller: I went to get dressed, turned on the closet light, and there she was with her face buried in her knees. John Delony: Oh… she had a nightmare, all right. Caller: I jumped back, grabbed a robe, asked her what she was doing, and she told me she’d had a nightmare. John Delony: Did she actually see anything? Caller: She said she didn’t… but where she was sitting, she probably could have seen everything. John Delony: What happened next? Caller: I picked her up, stayed calm, and told her, “If you did see anything, I’m really sorry. That wasn’t meant for your eyes. That’s something for adult husbands and wives.” John Delony: Perfect. Caller: She hasn’t brought it up since, but I’ve been worried all week. John Delony: You handled that about as perfectly as you could have. I’d be willing to bet there’s a 99.999% chance she saw some or all of it.

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561,975 views • 2 months ago