“Canny joke aboot anyhin these days…”

Sam Smith wasn't in great shape when I found him in an alley way the morning after the Brit Awards.

Wit? No even hoose rice????

Years ago as I finished my last ever shift where I was working, my manager was sitting outside having a smoke. We'd had a turbulent relationship, but I liked him. I walked over & said, "Aye yer a cunt. (He braced himself) But yer a good cunt" He laughed & we left on good terms🤭

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Absolutely brilliant So sad that's it's actually true these days tho 😭😭😭

@JamesMelville 😂

Forget "pronouns" It's all about "conjugated verbs" now

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Oh, by the way I hope yer maw had a great birthday if it's not illegal to celebrate birthdays in EastGermanyRussianRuledScotland

Tell the bus stop joke