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conspiracyy #berryfunny

Rue(ハラっち)

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21,376 views • 1 year ago •via X (Twitter)

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POV: You’ve been living with your roommate for two months. Your roommate is a massive bodybuilder—and he never lets you forget it. He’s cocky as fuck. Constantly flexing, messing with you, and finding excuses to invade your personal space just to watch you get flustered. What he doesn’t know is you’ve been into him basically since move-in day. And somehow, you’ve managed to hide it. Until tonight. You’re making dinner when you realize you’re out of salt and pepper. “Yo. You got salt and pepper?” He looks over. That smug fucking grin appears immediately. “You need some of my salt?” “Oh, shut up.” “Nah, bro. Come get it.” He flexes his arm, admires his own bicep, then slowly drags his tongue across it. “There. Plenty of salt.” You stare at him. Usually, this is where you call him an idiot and walk away. Instead, you walk straight over. And lick his bicep. He freezes. “BRO—WHAT THE FUCK?!” You nearly choke laughing. “What?” “WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY DO IT?!” “You offered.” “I WAS FUCKING WITH YOU!” “You literally presented the bicep.” “That doesn’t mean LICK IT!” “You seemed pretty confident five seconds ago.” His expression changes. “Oh, you think you’re funny now?” He gets up. Here we go. He walks toward you until that ridiculous body of his is practically blocking out the kitchen. Normally, you retreat. This time, you stay exactly where you are. He notices. His grin fades slightly. “What?” “Nothing.” “Then why are you looking at me like that?” Fuck it. You grab him and kiss him. He goes completely still. You pull back. For once, the cockiest man alive has absolutely nothing to say. Then— “Bro.” You wait. “What the FUCK?” You shrug. “I’ve wanted to do that for two months.” His eyes widen. “Are you fucking serious?” “Yep.” “Bro, I’m straight.” “I know.” “So don’t fucking do that again.” “Fine.” You back away. He doesn't move. His eyes drop to your mouth. Then back to your eyes. “Fuck.” He suddenly grabs you and kisses you. Hard. Then immediately jerks away like he touched a live wire. “Nope.” You stare at him. He points at you. “No.” “You literally just—” “Shut the fuck up.” You raise your hands and leave him alone. He walks across the kitchen. Stops. Turns around. Walks straight back. Kisses you again. You barely have time to react before he pulls away. “Fuck!” Now you’re laughing. “What?” “I don’t fucking know!” “You seem confused.” “Shut up.” “You keep coming back.” “I said shut up.” You lean against the counter, deliberately giving him space. He stares at you. Three seconds. Five. Then he’s right in front of you again. “Bro, what the fuck are you doing to me?” “Absolutely nothing.” “You started this.” “And you’ve kissed me three times.” His jaw tightens. Then slowly— that cocky grin comes back. “Don't start getting fucking confident.” “Me? Never.” Suddenly, his arms lock around you. Your feet leave the floor. “YO—” “Shut up.” “Put me down!” “No.” “You’re fucking carrying me!” “I know.” He starts walking. You realize where he’s going. “Oh, NOW who’s confident?” He glares at you. “Not one fucking word.” You grin. “Whatever you say, straight boy.” He stops. Slowly looks at you. “You really wanna keep talking shit?” “Little bit.” He carries you through the bedroom doorway. Behind you, dinner is still sitting unfinished. So is the salt. This is the cut story version to be able to post it on X (Full original story and video on my OF) 🤍💙

POV: You’ve been living with your roommate for two months. Your roommate is a massive bodybuilder—and he never lets you forget it. He’s cocky as fuck. Constantly flexing, messing with you, and finding excuses to invade your personal space just to watch you get flustered. What he doesn’t know is you’ve been into him basically since move-in day. And somehow, you’ve managed to hide it. Until tonight. You’re making dinner when you realize you’re out of salt and pepper. “Yo. You got salt and pepper?” He looks over. That smug fucking grin appears immediately. “You need some of my salt?” “Oh, shut up.” “Nah, bro. Come get it.” He flexes his arm, admires his own bicep, then slowly drags his tongue across it. “There. Plenty of salt.” You stare at him. Usually, this is where you call him an idiot and walk away. Instead, you walk straight over. And lick his bicep. He freezes. “BRO—WHAT THE FUCK?!” You nearly choke laughing. “What?” “WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY DO IT?!” “You offered.” “I WAS FUCKING WITH YOU!” “You literally presented the bicep.” “That doesn’t mean LICK IT!” “You seemed pretty confident five seconds ago.” His expression changes. “Oh, you think you’re funny now?” He gets up. Here we go. He walks toward you until that ridiculous body of his is practically blocking out the kitchen. Normally, you retreat. This time, you stay exactly where you are. He notices. His grin fades slightly. “What?” “Nothing.” “Then why are you looking at me like that?” Fuck it. You grab him and kiss him. He goes completely still. You pull back. For once, the cockiest man alive has absolutely nothing to say. Then— “Bro.” You wait. “What the FUCK?” You shrug. “I’ve wanted to do that for two months.” His eyes widen. “Are you fucking serious?” “Yep.” “Bro, I’m straight.” “I know.” “So don’t fucking do that again.” “Fine.” You back away. He doesn't move. His eyes drop to your mouth. Then back to your eyes. “Fuck.” He suddenly grabs you and kisses you. Hard. Then immediately jerks away like he touched a live wire. “Nope.” You stare at him. He points at you. “No.” “You literally just—” “Shut the fuck up.” You raise your hands and leave him alone. He walks across the kitchen. Stops. Turns around. Walks straight back. Kisses you again. You barely have time to react before he pulls away. “Fuck!” Now you’re laughing. “What?” “I don’t fucking know!” “You seem confused.” “Shut up.” “You keep coming back.” “I said shut up.” You lean against the counter, deliberately giving him space. He stares at you. Three seconds. Five. Then he’s right in front of you again. “Bro, what the fuck are you doing to me?” “Absolutely nothing.” “You started this.” “And you’ve kissed me three times.” His jaw tightens. Then slowly— that cocky grin comes back. “Don't start getting fucking confident.” “Me? Never.” Suddenly, his arms lock around you. Your feet leave the floor. “YO—” “Shut up.” “Put me down!” “No.” “You’re fucking carrying me!” “I know.” He starts walking. You realize where he’s going. “Oh, NOW who’s confident?” He glares at you. “Not one fucking word.” You grin. “Whatever you say, straight boy.” He stops. Slowly looks at you. “You really wanna keep talking shit?” “Little bit.” He carries you through the bedroom doorway. Behind you, dinner is still sitting unfinished. So is the salt. This is the cut story version to be able to post it on X (Full original story and video on my OF) 🤍💙

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