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🇳🇴🇩🇰🇮🇸 🇬🇱 Disappointed Vikings had to change back into boring office clothes after Trump backed out of Greenland. Stay connected, Follow Gandalv Gandalv

11,305 次观看 • 7 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

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HUNGARIAN LEADER ASSURES NATION HE HAS SIMPLY GROWN INTO THE THRONE OVER 16 YEARS ‘This Is What Strong Leadership Looks Like,’ Says Man Who Has Not Stood Up Since 2010 BUDAPEST — Dismissing mounting concerns about his physical transformation since first taking office, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán assured the nation Sunday that the gradual merging of his body with the ceremonial throne of power is a sign of strength, not stagnation. “I have not gotten comfortable. I have gotten permanent,” said Orbán, addressing a crowd of oligarchs, bishops, and courtiers who have stood beside him long enough to qualify for pension benefits. “A weak leader sits in a chair. A strong leader becomes the chair.” The Prime Minister, who has ruled Hungary for 16 consecutive years, acknowledged that the economy has struggled, that EU anti-corruption funds have mysteriously evaporated, and that roughly 600,000 Hungarians have emigrated since he took office, but attributed these developments to foreign interference, George Soros, and the weather. Polls released after voting closed on Sunday showed opposition Tisza Party leader Péter Magyar leading with 52 percent of the vote, prompting the government to describe the numbers as “biologically impossible” and “an attack on Hungarian culture.” “These polls were clearly conducted by Brussels bureaucrats who do not understand that in Hungary, the people do not choose the leader,” said a Fidesz spokesman. “The leader chooses which people count.” At press time, doctors confirmed that Orbán and the throne have shared a circulatory system since approximately 2017, and that any attempt to separate them would be considered an assassination attempt on a sitting head of state. Literally sitting. Stay connected, Follow Gandalv Gandalv

Gandalv

14,401 次观看 • 5 个月前

The Man Who Keeps Passing the Dementia Test (That’s Not the Win He Thinks It Is) Donald Trump has taken a cognitive test three times. Three. Other presidents: zero. He brings this up constantly. With pride. The way a golden retriever brings you a sock. The test exists to catch early dementia. It checks whether your brain is still broadly attached to reality. One of the questions involves identifying animals from a picture. An elephant. A giraffe. A cow. A gorilla. A lion. He got them right. All of them. It wasn’t easy, he’ll tell you. Don’t let anyone say it was easy. He wants you to know this.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Think about that for a moment. The most powerful man on earth is standing in front of cameras, chest out, informing the world that he correctly identified a lion. And the world is not laughing. Some of it is trembling.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ No previous president felt the need to announce this. Because correctly identifying a lion has never, in the history of the republic, been considered a prerequisite for nuclear launch codes. It is the kind of achievement usually celebrated at a five-year-old’s birthday party.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Trump doesn’t see it that way. To him, three perfect scores is a record. A legacy. A cognitive achievement no other president has come close to — mainly because no other president was ever asked. The doctors gave him the test to check whether something was slipping. He took it as a trophy.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Follow Gandalv Gandalv

Gandalv

83,107 次观看 • 6 个月前