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Esther Naipanoi: "I started experimenting with the other side, meaning lesbianism." In high school, I became all of a sudden attracted to women and I can’t explain it. I used to tell myself that I was born gay. I was trying to make sense of feelings I didn’t understand,...

35,610 次观看 • 1 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

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In 2017, I knew I was stuck in fawn. It was part of my overall pattern of dissociation. I would zone out and appease everyone around me. My needs didn’t matter. All I cared about was making sure I didn’t create any conflict around me. I just wanted things to be “easy.” Of course fawning actually makes life much more difficult. For me, it was a response to a chronically ill and emotionally distant mother. I learned to be easy to not cause any more stress or conflict in the home. It helped me to cope growing up. But as I got older, it became destructive. It was a core reason I stayed in unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships. It stopped me from seeing that my own inability to emotionally connect was creating a lot of my issues. It kept me in cycles where I would neglect my body and use any situation to distract myself. Getting out of fawn was about establishing pattern breaks. New routines every morning to I could be more in my body. I actually looked at my relationships and realized how I didn’t have any boundaries. So, I started practicing. I started saying “no.” I started placing limits. Without needing to over-explain or to justify myself. It was some of the most difficult work I’ve ever done. And it changed my life. I still have a deep pleasing tendency. But now I know what is and what isn’t my responsibility. I can be kind to myself when I feel guilty for letting people down. I can take care of myself which allows me to actually be there for others. Does anyone else resonate with being stuck in fawn?

Dr. Nicole LePera

746,559 次观看 • 2 年前

Paul Sorvino, who played Paulie in Goodfellas, nearly backed out of the film two days before production. The self-described “softie” had spent months agonizing over the role, convinced he didn’t have what it took to play a mafia boss. He explains… “I didn’t think I could do it, because it was not the kind of role that I felt I really had an affinity for. The externals were easy: middle-aged Italian man. The difficulty was in the lethality that I felt I didn’t possess. And so even though I wanted to do it, I was sort of faking when I went to the meeting and giving Martin the impression that I knew exactly what to do with it - when I had no idea what to do with it. But I wanted so much to be in a Scorsese movie. I guess he just figured I was capable of it. It was about two months of preparation to try to get this quality that I knew it called for. I was kind of agonizing over it - I was thinking, “I’m gonna ruin this movie.” I was looking for something to get out of it till two days before we started production. By virtue of constantly searching to find that kind of quality that killers have, I was preparing to go out one night, passed by the mirror to check for spinach in the teeth, and I jumped back. I literally frightened myself. I saw a look in my eyes that frightened me. ‘Who was that?’ I said, ‘That’s Paulie.’ And once I found it, the role became just a duck in water. It just was so easy to do.”

Gangster Cinema Central

567,538 次观看 • 1 个月前