Finally the real questions are being asked

Few thoughts: Most absorbent - carpet Most similar to TP - tortilla Best for skin - banana peel If it’s a one time deal, go carpet you know the job will be done. Long term banana peel is the obvious choice, might even freshen things up a bit.

Might try the tortilla rn

If you don’t answer tortillas you have to be deranged

Ai has gone way too far…also tortillas seem the most reasonable. Almost got me with carpet, but the rug burn around the bum hole is not worth it. If I was having fun with it, then I’d try the ginger bread men.

No wonder you got Pink Eye twice from Bananas.. people be wiping their ass wit it

1 carpet 2 tortilla

Tortillas as long as they’re the extra soft kind

Takin’ the tortilla south of the border, Chapman.

Carpet or fish skin right?

Plastic bag? Been there

Tortilla for sure. No possible breakage, flexible, probably absorbent?

It’s obviously tortillas

Tortillas

The answer has to be banana peels… right??

Gotta be carpet right?

I’m thinking gingerbread men tbh

Team tortilla over here

@UncleChaps, do not use the bananas to wipe your eyes. You don’t want that banana induced pink eye again.

Tortilla by a landslide

Gingerbread Men

Tortilla or die

Gotta go tortilla I think. Side note: I’d love to have a roll of beef jerky at my desk though

Chaps. I sent this to my friends and they said onion. Onion is too thin…

I thought jerky was bad then they hit you with the fish skin.

Call me a sick fuck but I knew nothing was gonna beat banana peels the second I saw it. Shit would low-key make you feel a type of way 🤨 plus your booty hole would smell like bananas @TChandlerAD

Banana peel Tortilla is the backup