For boys, starting in 6th-grade, “moms need to decrease and dads need to increase.” Fathers need to take the lead on everything with their sons until they graduate high school. ~Liz Caddow, founder of Trinity Classical Academy and classical Christian educator of 25 years.

I remember once talking with an older woman that it's hard for my husband to help me with the baby/toddler, as the baby/toddler only wanted me. And I was tired. She said in her experience, the first 10 years of parenting are heavy on the mom, and the dad supports. The 2nd 10 years are heavy on the dad, and the mom supports. As my kids have gone into adulthood, I have to agree with her.

Great insight!

Agreed. MS teacher here. The boys who do not have a dad in the house or a strong step dad presence in their lives have a difficult time with taking instruction and guidance from a male teachers. Consequently, that MS, HS transition is very difficult. Dads really matter.

Wow! Thanks makes complete sense. Great insights!

I’ll add: Dads need to also put focus on honoring and respecting Mom Same with Mom… show your respect for Dad We need to raise boys (and girls) who will become honorable husbands (and wives) — who will show kids that parents deserve their respect… and most importantly, how to demonstrate it at all times

Modernity destroyed rituals that aid the transition from childhood to adulthood. “Adolescence” is a modern idea. Moreover, boys thrive through risk. This country became incredibly soft post-columbine.

This is tea my dad ignored me the whole time

Actually moms and dad both serve an important role equally throughout their kids lives, regardless of gender. No where in the world does it ever say either of them should “decrease” at any part of their child’s life. I hate when humans put their own spin on the Bible.

I disagree. Both the father and mother are of equal importance in the home but different roles.. neither should decrease in their role at anytime in the upbringing of their children.

6th grade is too late.

That’s great in an ideal world. What if the Dad dies or walks out or is deployed for months on end? Luckily my boys graduated college with lil ole Mama bear behind them every step of the way encouraging them and praying for them. Behind every great man….

This is true. Since my son was about 13, we defer to my husband. If it’s a personal issue he’s having, dad. If he wants to do something, ask Dad. I am a little softer and easier to manipulate. Dad is intimidating and he won’t bull shit him. Ever. Fathers are a strong presence that young men need.

This makes so much sense. It has been unusual for kids to be in school until 18, and even historically if they were, they were under the guidance and parentage of men. Around 12 years old, boys were treated like men and given duties and responsibilities 100 years ago.

Honestly, this seems to develop naturally. When our son was six or seven I was the center of his world. By the time he hit junior high he started to seek out his Dad as their interests converged. I stepped back because I wanted him to see a positive example of male leadership.

Stop pushing the narrative that women cannot be solo parents, esp to boys. Marriages don’t work out for a variety of reasons. Acknowledge that. Parenting is hard work. Single parenting is even harder. But it’s absolutely possible for single moms to raise functional humans

Moms need to decrease? Is that sexism or what? Let the dads be more present and know that no one needs to take the lead. The lead takes care of itself.

I would argue it needs to happen even sooner than that.

If my husband took the lead on all things with my son at that age, he would have had no doctor appointments, no new glasses, his grades would have gone to crap, but he would have still been one hell of an athlete and knew about guns and fishing as such. This is a load of crap.

I don’t mean this to degrade single moms or boys without farhers, the opposite, I have a heart for them. Growing up in a blue-collar suburban neighborhood with predominantly two-parent households, it was very apparent that boys without fathers were handicapped in every way. Socially, physically, emotionally. They stood out, got singled out, had trouble with their peers and school, and wore big chips on their shoulders. You could sense their struggle a mile away. I could even argue that a bad father was better than none. I have a ton of respect for men who foight through that. I also know that very few women could understand. Today that distinction is gone because it’s just normal.

My son is 10. I keep saying, "We'll ask your dad. Dad will decide. That's a dad question. What did dad decide? That's for you and your dad to figure out." He really loves it when I say, "your dad isn't home can you XYZ (throw a dad chore to him 😉). We want to raise a man.

Why can’t both parents put in extra effort in raising them? I’m so tired of people with absolutely useless degrees telling me how to raise my kids. Go focus on humping your Bible and worshiping your golden bulls and keep your opinions to yourself.

@douglassmackey I can see this. Parenting take two people.

We need more men in schools. I do mean men. not male feminists Boys need a man to teach them how tp become a man. The best man for that job is his father. Be a good father a good man

@JoshuaLisec The problem is a dad who doesn’t show up when he is supposed to.

God's design on the family is for the father to take the lead in everything - not that women are subservient, our role is just different - it takes us both:

As a dad who’s been doing everything since his mom passed at four months, you people need to GET OFF the idea men can’t raise baby’s. Men are more capable at woman than literally everything except giving birth and that’s only because we can’t do it lol.

We talked about that here too:

any words on when the dad is not in the home, what does a mom do? many of my students have fatherless homes, help please!

How about we normalize both parents parenting from 0-18. Best of both worlds the whole time.

She is a self contradictory buffoon. She runs a classical school and talks about how everyone should homeschool and fathers should get involved. Moreover, classical education isn’t so biblical education. And she should explain why overwhelming number of students attending her schools fall away from the faith when they become adults.

Which means, moms, get out of the way. Need to stop “boymommying” through HS. It will be okay. I swear.

OR you know both parents can be a strong presence as they have been before 6th grade.

@PamelaSOCFEN Yes!

We need less woke women and weak men teachers. My taxes should go towards those who actually strengthen the community and our future.

@Dr__JE I understand the concept but that’s Not necessarily true As long as the dad is around and in the boys life it’s a win

Overly prescriptive.

Absolutely emotional incest is a huge issue between mothers and sons