He warned us

@standup RIP.

@standup That man is an absolute legend. Mitch Hedberg.

@standup Yesterday someone asked me if I would like a frozen banana. I said no; but I would like a regular banana later. So, yes.

@standup So many of his jokes are weirdly dumb. Like this one. Sure, at first the idea that there needs to be a written record of your doughnut purchase seems odd, but then you stop and think, hold on, people do this for business expenses (as he himself would have done, too).

@standup Absolute classic 😂

@standup Dogs are forever in the pushup position.

@standup Always take the receipt

@standup He and Giraldo were really tough losses.

@standup God what a Legend Mitch was, wish he lived longer.

@standup Coming out of a Starbucks, I was accused by a sheriff’s deputy of having sideswiped a V.W. Because I had a receipt for the coffee I bought on the way in and a receipt for the bagel I bought on the way out, I was able to prove I could not have hit the car. Save your receipts!

@standup I’ll be spending it all on donuts

@standup @J_Ice22

@standup 😂 Ah, I miss him. ❤️

@standup

@standup LOl my mann has a whole doppelgänger Outchea I forget homie name. But they have sort of the same style of comedy.

@standup @grok what does he mean at the end when he says, "and we all know what 'D' is"?

@standup 🐐

@standup Such a good tweet

@standup @ScottPresler ...?

@standup we all know what D is

@standup rip legend