HELEN BURNS HAS BEEN FOUND (sort of)

Not having it, it sounds like someone’s gave a woman down the pub £20 to phone in.

Has anyone checked the Scottish magazine she claimed to be in? Could that get us a picture of Helen?

*I stood in Glasgow cos I like Scotland and got married in aviemore*, awright, hen, you’re practically local!

‘My name is Helen…Burns’

It sounds like a fucking hostage tape 🤦🏻‍♀️ “I am being treated well and you should give in to their demands”

So. Time to head to British library with the magazine name, & request every 2019 issue of.. To Have and to hold Scotland Scottish Wedding Directory Your Scottish Wedding Tie The Knot Scotland These are mainly quarterlies, so really not so much page turning. You’re almost there!

This kind of pisses me off because I was making jokes about pretending to be a reform candidate months ago and getting away with being a liberal because of their terrible vetting process, wish I’d done it now

Of course her wedding was at a hunting lodge and featured in a wedding magazine. Of course.

Helen 💯 didn’t know her own name, not buying it

Sounds like she was reading off a script