Honor thy mother and father

Wait? How did she just pronounce “indictment”

I’m the parent hearing this tonight. “Honor thy mother and father.” Not because we were flawless. But because we were human — scared, tired, under-equipped, yet still choosing you every single day through storms you never saw.

I think it’s different if the parents actually acknowledge that there was some toxic stuff going on and try to change it…it’s when the gaslighting/narcissism keep going that’s bad

This is so toxic I don’t even know where to begin. This is gaslighting. This is manipulation. This is protecting the abusers. This is dismissing a child who’s being abused and is trying to speak up and get help. And here’s the thing, I don’t believe a woman her age could be this naïve. I think she’s manipulative and toxic. This is a red flag of covert narcissism. Anyone who’s ever been abused by their parents knows these people are simply aligning with and protecting the abuser’s narrative. I got sent away to those troubled teen programs as a teenager. I was being scapegoated by narcissist parents. They wanted to make me look like the problem to cover up the fact that they were abusing me since I was a young child. Those programs people said the same kind of shit she is saying to gaslight and brainwash the children into thinking they were the problem because the abusers were the ones paying them the money. Professional gas lighters. This is like organized narcissistic manipulation.

Children are people, not property. Sometimes the best way to honor your parents is to never become like them. If “doing your best” is the standard and that involves neglect, abuse, blame, and gaslighting KIDS for your own problems, then you deserve to have that relationship broken.

I love how estranged parents always pull the “honor thy mother and father” card and are ironically silent on the “provoke not your children to wrath”. See I was endlessly provoked as a child by my mother and she always threw this verse in my face for manipulation.

This is bad advice. Adult children shouldn’t have to put up with bad parents the rest of their lives, or expose their children to bad grandparents. Some people can’t or won’t be fixed.

Oh wow! Going thru this now with my 26 year old twins. It is crazy & so very sad. It’s all our fault that the world is so messed up🙄

Because we focused on Freud instead of Adler

Holy shit, this applies to my oldest sister, who believes she was somehow wronged by the entire family & estranged herself completely. She went so far as to visit a hypnotist & “recovered” a false history. It’s mental illness but too many validate self-exile as being “healthy.”

I have been going through this with my 20 yr old daughter. I’ve said these very words to her. Stop using the Internet‘s new lingo for hating your parents. And remember, all my sacrifices for you. Thank you for sharing this. It’s needed in today’s society.

Everybody, she pronounced indictment wrong because she is probably a lifelong reader. She obviously uses the word properly in good context. Many readers never hear a word out loud and then pronounce it wrong.

Yo i hear you but my parents did not support me - i supported them and it drained me to near death that i had to stop and when i stoped i realized it was a one way street.. all the did was take and take and insult - took me till i was nearly 33 to wake up out of thinking they loved me and cared for me.. personally i wish i realized this before i was 15 bc all the signs were there.. i just couldn’t fathom bc i was blinded by my maternal love for them - money can cause a toxic thing in the mind.. imo from my experience within my family dynamic. A catholic household — putting name labels on food - why could i share but none of them.. a catholic church going family.. i was so blinded by my own love for my family - then i got distance and i saw clearly and now i really dont care to ever see any of them ever again.

can confirm, every human being must forgive their parents for wrong doing, in rare extreme cases I get it, most people need to get over blaming their parents, the Bible has great wisdom on this, Deut 5:32-6:8 - 28:1-14, Ex 21:17, Mt 15:4, Mk 7:10, Prov 19:26, 20:20 and lots more

Call yourself very lucky that you don't have to go no contact. Only way to find peace in some circumstances

This is so right on!! I lost my only child to this craziness. My son was so loved. But I'm to be hated. It breaks my heart.

That is sad…but who is anyone really to judge someone else’s hell, abuse, or torture. Maybe there is some truth in what they blame. Or not.

I don’t know about you, but these social media posts are all about advice giving from young people who have not lived long enough to have the life experience and usually a qualification to back up their ‘knowledge.’ This is totally generalisations and minimising lived exp.

It's all about acknowledgement. As long as parents recognise there was trauma or other issues and continue to affirm that they did their best, that's what matters most, and that's when healing begins. But as an adult, with a childhood of my own and ways to understand the why behind what I do, it makes a complete story make sense. It also, makes those chains vivid enough to break.

Well said. When children become adults, they have the chance to make their own choices, change anything/everything they choose. All adults survived their childhood. Congratulations! What POWER.

So many narcissists, not enough mirrors…

Been laughing at “generational trauma” ever since I heard of it

It’s so weird to me how it’s always the parents, then when the grown child botches child raising…it’s the parents again😂😂. Bro stop.

Becoming a parent actually helped heal my own issues with my parents because it gave me empathy and an understanding of why they may have chosen to do certain things. Women who choose not to ever kids will never be able to receive this type of healing

The way she just said indictment…

Amen to that. You have no idea how applicable that is. Thank you.

Your message is ignorant, dangerous and in line with abusers. People that have never been raped, beaten, emotionally shredded, bones broken should seriously shut the F up. I’ll trade you my parents for yours and we’ll see how fast you change your story. This information is a disgrace to those that learned about abuse the hard way and not on social media or in a damn book. Hope your information and mouth stop emboldening the abusers and you start doing real humanitarian work that actually helps people. 😤

My parents became my heroes

How many times did an abusive parent emotionally neglect, withhold affection, and psychologically abandon their kids before their kid finally decided to walk away? Just bc they're your parents doesnt mean you need to erase your soul to keep them in your life.

I learned to give my mom grace & accept that she won’t love her children the way I expect. She couldn’t give love and affection because she didn’t receive it herself. As a Christian mother I study Jesus’ ways and I apply God’s principles to my parenting, my kids get what I didnt

Told my kids many times that I’ll fail them and hurt them unintentionally… and I hope as they grow that they know that I love them and I’m doing my best.

Our 40 yr old son has cut off all communication for almost 2 years now. With no discussion. Citing “wounds” going back to high school. Some real, some rewritten history. Mostly I am devastated being cut-off from my youngest grandson. I miss him so much.

“You’re giving yourself endless grace for your own flaws” Important perspective!

It’s a nice thought but reality is that if a parent continually chooses themselves over their children in all aspects of their life all while demanding the child be thankful eventually the child will see the game and choose not to play.