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Husband whose wife had multiple affairs including with his best friend asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “My wife had a long-term affair that started with my best friend and eventually involved other people. She only stopped after she was caught. I don’t even know who she... is anymore, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to trust her again.” Dr. John Delony didn’t sugarcoat the situation: “She’s become someone who could betray her husband in an incredibly profound way.” He told the husband that the marriage he thought he had was already gone. “The old marriage is over. You can give her a very clear path to rebuild trust and earn her way back or you can leave.” The hard truth: When betrayal is repeated and only stops after being exposed, rebuilding isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen. It requires radical honesty, consistent accountability, and a complete willingness to change.show more

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A husband asks John Delony if his marriage can survive after his wife had a year-long affair with his best friend. Caller: “How do I forgive and move forward after my wife and one of my best friends had a year-long affair behind my back? Is it even possible for me to move forward?” John Delony: “Tell me what happened.” Caller: “I got on her laptop and found she’d been on a maternity test website.” Caller: “I questioned her… and found out it was one of my best friends.” Caller: “He was also my boss.” John Delony: “Whoa.” Caller: “He was in our wedding.” Caller: “A few months before we got married, we found out she was pregnant.” Caller: “She wanted an abortion.” John Delony: “Was that because she thought it was somebody else’s baby?” Caller: “Yeah… which I didn’t know.” John Delony: “This girl broke your heart, man.” John Delony: “The only way this marriage survives… is if you completely delete everything you knew about your marriage and start completely over.”

A husband asks John Delony if his marriage can survive after his wife had a year-long affair with his best friend. Caller: “How do I forgive and move forward after my wife and one of my best friends had a year-long affair behind my back? Is it even possible for me to move forward?” John Delony: “Tell me what happened.” Caller: “I got on her laptop and found she’d been on a maternity test website.” Caller: “I questioned her… and found out it was one of my best friends.” Caller: “He was also my boss.” John Delony: “Whoa.” Caller: “He was in our wedding.” Caller: “A few months before we got married, we found out she was pregnant.” Caller: “She wanted an abortion.” John Delony: “Was that because she thought it was somebody else’s baby?” Caller: “Yeah… which I didn’t know.” John Delony: “This girl broke your heart, man.” John Delony: “The only way this marriage survives… is if you completely delete everything you knew about your marriage and start completely over.”

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23,788 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Firefighter whose wife had a year long affair with his best man asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “I found out my wife had a year long affair with my best friend the same man who stood beside me at our wedding. We have a one-year-old daughter, and I’m trying to figure out if there’s any way to save this marriage.” Dr. John Delony didn’t minimize the betrayal; “She broke your vows.” Then he explained what reconciliation would actually require. “The only way this marriage survives is if y’all completely control-alt-delete everything and build something brand new.” The hard truth: A betrayal this deep can’t be repaired by pretending nothing happened. If a marriage survives repeated or significant infidelity, it’s usually because both people accept that the old relationship is over and commit to building an entirely new one through honesty, accountability, and consistent change.

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36,571 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

Husband whose wife asked for an open marriage after secretly cheating for over a year asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “My wife asked for an open marriage last year. Later, I found out she’d already been having an affair for a year and a half before she ever brought it up. I can’t stop replaying the images in my head, and the rumination won’t let go.” Dr. John Delony didn’t minimize the betrayal; “The marriage you had is over.” He encouraged the husband not to rush into a decision while still overwhelmed by grief. “You have to sit in that grief and own it before you can decide whether to build something new.” The hard truth: When trust is shattered by deception, the first step isn’t deciding whether to stay or leave. It’s acknowledging that the relationship you thought you had no longer exists. Only then can you honestly decide whether there’s anything new worth rebuilding.

Husband whose wife asked for an open marriage after secretly cheating for over a year asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “My wife asked for an open marriage last year. Later, I found out she’d already been having an affair for a year and a half before she ever brought it up. I can’t stop replaying the images in my head, and the rumination won’t let go.” Dr. John Delony didn’t minimize the betrayal; “The marriage you had is over.” He encouraged the husband not to rush into a decision while still overwhelmed by grief. “You have to sit in that grief and own it before you can decide whether to build something new.” The hard truth: When trust is shattered by deception, the first step isn’t deciding whether to stay or leave. It’s acknowledging that the relationship you thought you had no longer exists. Only then can you honestly decide whether there’s anything new worth rebuilding.

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Man having an affair with his best friend’s wife asks Dr. John Delony if his marriage is over. Caller: “I’ve been sleeping with my best friend’s wife for about eight months, and neither my wife nor my friend knows. I don’t know if what I feel for her is real or if I’m just caught up in the excitement. Part of me wants to save my marriage, but I don’t know what to do.” Dr. John Delony didn’t sugarcoat the situation; “You’ve blown your life up.” His advice was direct: “Stop living in the fantasy. Come clean with your wife and your friend. You can’t make an honest decision about your marriage while hiding an affair that’s been going on for eight months.” The hard truth: You don’t get clarity by continuing the lie. If you want any chance of rebuilding your life, the deception has to end first.

Man having an affair with his best friend’s wife asks Dr. John Delony if his marriage is over. Caller: “I’ve been sleeping with my best friend’s wife for about eight months, and neither my wife nor my friend knows. I don’t know if what I feel for her is real or if I’m just caught up in the excitement. Part of me wants to save my marriage, but I don’t know what to do.” Dr. John Delony didn’t sugarcoat the situation; “You’ve blown your life up.” His advice was direct: “Stop living in the fantasy. Come clean with your wife and your friend. You can’t make an honest decision about your marriage while hiding an affair that’s been going on for eight months.” The hard truth: You don’t get clarity by continuing the lie. If you want any chance of rebuilding your life, the deception has to end first.

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15,183 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

A husband asked if he should stay after his wife had a one-night stand and got pregnant. Caller: “Should I stay with my wife after she had a one-night stand and got pregnant? Can we rebuild our marriage?” John Delony: “Tell me about it. What happened?” Caller: “Fast forward to Christmas Day… that was when we both found out that she was pregnant.” “Then I sat there staring at the clock for a couple minutes, and then I went, ‘Wait, I had a vasectomy.’” John Delony: “Did she admit to having an affair?” Caller: “She did. She admitted it at the hospital. She said there was one time about a month and a half before that.” John Delony: “Has she shown you all the text messages?” Caller: “No, she got rid of all of that.” John Delony: “I don’t believe people who aren’t believable.”

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A husband asked if he should stay after his wife had a one-night stand and got pregnant. Caller: “Should I stay with my wife after she had a one-night stand and got pregnant? Can we rebuild our marriage?” John Delony: “Tell me about it. What happened?” Caller: “Fast forward to Christmas Day… that was when we both found out that she was pregnant.” “Then I sat there staring at the clock for a couple minutes, and then I went, ‘Wait, I had a vasectomy.’” John Delony: “Did she admit to having an affair?” Caller: “She did. She admitted it at the hospital. She said there was one time about a month and a half before that.” John Delony: “Has she shown you all the text messages?” Caller: “No, she got rid of all of that.” John Delony: “I don’t believe people who aren’t believable.”

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182,833 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

A man called John Delony after discovering his wife had been having an affair for over 6 years. Caller: “I’m just wondering if my marriage can move forward after my wife’s affair of over six years. It was with somebody who claimed to be my best friend… and several of my other friends.” John Delony: “How long have y’all been married?” Caller: “We’ve been married since 2016.” John Delony: “So she’s been having an affair almost the whole time?” Caller: “Yeah… emotionally it started in 2018, and it didn’t get physical until late 2019.” John Delony: “Do you have kids?” Caller: “Yeah… I had them tested shortly after we found out.” John Delony: “So y’all have been treading water for a year now?” Caller: “She says she’s really remorseful. She wants to try again. I feel like I don’t know who she is, I can’t trust anything she says.” John Delony: “Both of those things are true. You’re not crazy.” Caller: “I just found out another one of my really good buddies was involved too.” John Delony: “Your wife and this guy too?” Caller: “Yeah.” John Delony: “Good God, dude.” Caller: “I stopped digging because I didn’t want any more names… but they just keep coming out.” John Delony: “Your wife slept with your friends. Friends, plural. You had to get your children tested because of your wife’s lack of integrity.”

A man called John Delony after discovering his wife had been having an affair for over 6 years. Caller: “I’m just wondering if my marriage can move forward after my wife’s affair of over six years. It was with somebody who claimed to be my best friend… and several of my other friends.” John Delony: “How long have y’all been married?” Caller: “We’ve been married since 2016.” John Delony: “So she’s been having an affair almost the whole time?” Caller: “Yeah… emotionally it started in 2018, and it didn’t get physical until late 2019.” John Delony: “Do you have kids?” Caller: “Yeah… I had them tested shortly after we found out.” John Delony: “So y’all have been treading water for a year now?” Caller: “She says she’s really remorseful. She wants to try again. I feel like I don’t know who she is, I can’t trust anything she says.” John Delony: “Both of those things are true. You’re not crazy.” Caller: “I just found out another one of my really good buddies was involved too.” John Delony: “Your wife and this guy too?” Caller: “Yeah.” John Delony: “Good God, dude.” Caller: “I stopped digging because I didn’t want any more names… but they just keep coming out.” John Delony: “Your wife slept with your friends. Friends, plural. You had to get your children tested because of your wife’s lack of integrity.”

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160,237 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Husband who believes his wife is having an affair with the neighbor asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “Our neighbor is constantly around. He buys clothes for my son, cooks for my wife, and leaves things in our house. She insists nothing is going on, but the evidence keeps piling up. I feel trapped because I can’t seem to get away from him.” Dr. John Delony focused on the pattern of behavior rather than the suspicion alone; “Behavior is a language she’s being very clear with you.” He said that if the couple wanted any chance of rebuilding trust, they had to eliminate the ongoing connection. “Sell the house or create real distance. Trust requires no contact.” The hard truth: Trust can’t begin to heal while the person at the center of the conflict remains a constant presence. Whether an affair occurred or not, healthy boundaries and honest conversations are essential if a marriage is going to recover.

Husband who believes his wife is having an affair with the neighbor asks Dr. John Delony what to do. Caller: “Our neighbor is constantly around. He buys clothes for my son, cooks for my wife, and leaves things in our house. She insists nothing is going on, but the evidence keeps piling up. I feel trapped because I can’t seem to get away from him.” Dr. John Delony focused on the pattern of behavior rather than the suspicion alone; “Behavior is a language she’s being very clear with you.” He said that if the couple wanted any chance of rebuilding trust, they had to eliminate the ongoing connection. “Sell the house or create real distance. Trust requires no contact.” The hard truth: Trust can’t begin to heal while the person at the center of the conflict remains a constant presence. Whether an affair occurred or not, healthy boundaries and honest conversations are essential if a marriage is going to recover.

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22,159 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

A man asked John Delony if he should stay friends with the man who slept with his wife. Caller: “Is it worth trying to preserve my friendship with the man who slept with my wife?” John Delony: “God, no. No. Tell me what you’re thinking through.” Caller: “This is someone that I’ve known since high school.” John Delony: “Yeah… but he slept with your wife.” Caller: “She initiated.” John Delony: “Yeah… but he slept with your wife.” Caller: “I got home early from work. His car was in my driveway. I walked into my bedroom… they were both in their underwear. My wife is not wanting to patch things up. We’re in the middle of the divorce.” John Delony: “Don’t sacrifice your integrity and your character for grief. Your wife has abandoned you and left you.” John Delony: “She embarrassed you in your own home, in your own bed. Your best friend humiliated you.” John Delony: “He revealed himself as somebody you didn’t know him to be. And you trusted him with everything.”

A man asked John Delony if he should stay friends with the man who slept with his wife. Caller: “Is it worth trying to preserve my friendship with the man who slept with my wife?” John Delony: “God, no. No. Tell me what you’re thinking through.” Caller: “This is someone that I’ve known since high school.” John Delony: “Yeah… but he slept with your wife.” Caller: “She initiated.” John Delony: “Yeah… but he slept with your wife.” Caller: “I got home early from work. His car was in my driveway. I walked into my bedroom… they were both in their underwear. My wife is not wanting to patch things up. We’re in the middle of the divorce.” John Delony: “Don’t sacrifice your integrity and your character for grief. Your wife has abandoned you and left you.” John Delony: “She embarrassed you in your own home, in your own bed. Your best friend humiliated you.” John Delony: “He revealed himself as somebody you didn’t know him to be. And you trusted him with everything.”

‏ً

40,468 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Woman who cheated on her husband and lied about it asks Dr. John Delony if she should finally come clean. Caller: “Two months ago, I slept with my gym trainer. I’ve been lying to my husband ever since, and I’ve even lied about it to our marriage counselor. We have two young children, and I’m terrified of what will happen to our family if I tell him the truth.” Dr. John Delony’s response was direct: “You already know the answer.” He argued that hiding the truth wasn’t protecting the marriage it was keeping the relationship built on a lie. “Relationships can’t survive big secrets. You need to tell him.” The hard truth: Confessing may have painful consequences, but continuing to build a marriage around a secret affair doesn’t give either person a real chance to make an honest decision about the future.

Woman who cheated on her husband and lied about it asks Dr. John Delony if she should finally come clean. Caller: “Two months ago, I slept with my gym trainer. I’ve been lying to my husband ever since, and I’ve even lied about it to our marriage counselor. We have two young children, and I’m terrified of what will happen to our family if I tell him the truth.” Dr. John Delony’s response was direct: “You already know the answer.” He argued that hiding the truth wasn’t protecting the marriage it was keeping the relationship built on a lie. “Relationships can’t survive big secrets. You need to tell him.” The hard truth: Confessing may have painful consequences, but continuing to build a marriage around a secret affair doesn’t give either person a real chance to make an honest decision about the future.

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67,909 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

A mom says her 5-year-old accidentally witnessed her and her husband having sex… now she’s worried she’s traumatized. Caller: I’m worried our 5-year-old may be traumatized after accidentally walking in on my husband and me having sex. I’m hoping I’m just overreacting. John Delony: Okay… I need the whole picture. Tell me what happened. Caller: We’re always careful to keep our bedroom door closed and locked, but she had a nightmare and somehow snuck into our room before we closed the door. She hid in our closet. Caller: I went to get dressed, turned on the closet light, and there she was with her face buried in her knees. John Delony: Oh… she had a nightmare, all right. Caller: I jumped back, grabbed a robe, asked her what she was doing, and she told me she’d had a nightmare. John Delony: Did she actually see anything? Caller: She said she didn’t… but where she was sitting, she probably could have seen everything. John Delony: What happened next? Caller: I picked her up, stayed calm, and told her, “If you did see anything, I’m really sorry. That wasn’t meant for your eyes. That’s something for adult husbands and wives.” John Delony: Perfect. Caller: She hasn’t brought it up since, but I’ve been worried all week. John Delony: You handled that about as perfectly as you could have. I’d be willing to bet there’s a 99.999% chance she saw some or all of it.

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A mom says her 5-year-old accidentally witnessed her and her husband having sex… now she’s worried she’s traumatized. Caller: I’m worried our 5-year-old may be traumatized after accidentally walking in on my husband and me having sex. I’m hoping I’m just overreacting. John Delony: Okay… I need the whole picture. Tell me what happened. Caller: We’re always careful to keep our bedroom door closed and locked, but she had a nightmare and somehow snuck into our room before we closed the door. She hid in our closet. Caller: I went to get dressed, turned on the closet light, and there she was with her face buried in her knees. John Delony: Oh… she had a nightmare, all right. Caller: I jumped back, grabbed a robe, asked her what she was doing, and she told me she’d had a nightmare. John Delony: Did she actually see anything? Caller: She said she didn’t… but where she was sitting, she probably could have seen everything. John Delony: What happened next? Caller: I picked her up, stayed calm, and told her, “If you did see anything, I’m really sorry. That wasn’t meant for your eyes. That’s something for adult husbands and wives.” John Delony: Perfect. Caller: She hasn’t brought it up since, but I’ve been worried all week. John Delony: You handled that about as perfectly as you could have. I’d be willing to bet there’s a 99.999% chance she saw some or all of it.

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Saving Myself For Marriage Was A waste. Caller (Anna): ...how can I help the bitterness and resentment that's growing in me towards my husband, I feel like he's ruining s*x for me. Dr. John Delony: How is he ruining sex for you? Caller: Okay, so background... I grew up... Dr. John Delony: (laughing) You were like, "Okay, let's do this." Caller: (laughs) I grew up very religious. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller: Very religious. No fun things in the bedroom until marriage. Dr. John Delony: Okay, so you didn't sleep with anybody else until you got married. Caller: Correct. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller: I met my husband now, husband at 27, married at 30. So a long time. A long time. Dr. John Delony: Awesome. Caller: And while I absolutely adore him and I think he is a wonderful wonderful person when we got married, it was... it just was not at all... Dr. John Delony: What you had built it up to be? Caller: Yes, and it still isn't. I feel like... and I've... I've talked to him about it, and my thing is... our honeymoon felt like a vacation. It didn't feel like a honeymoon. Dr. John Delony: What does that mean? What does that mean? Caller: That means that I had to initiate a lot of the time. That means that he initiated maybe once in the whole honeymoon. And I feel like he was more concerned about looking pool-time and, you know, sightseeing than he was with the point of the honeymoon, in my opinion. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller (Anna): And that carried when we got home, of course, that carried on. It only kind of became a little bit more stagnant. And that aggression, that lust, that passion isn't there. And I've had to initiate a lot, way more than I really want to. And I don't feel desired anymore. And this is going to sound so stupid, but... Dr. John Delony: Nothing you're saying is stupid. Caller (Anna): I've been having these thoughts where it's like, if this was what it was going to be, I could have been having fun in my twenties. Dr. John Delony: Sure. That's not stupid at all, not even a tiny bit. Caller (Anna): Okay. Dr. John Delony: Don't beat yourself up about that. Caller (Anna): What was the point? What was the point if I was just going to have a regular, normal, boring marital s*x life, then I could have had fun while I had time, you know? And as horrible as that sounds, it's how I feel, you know? Dr. John Delony: I don't think it sounds horrible. I don't think it sounds horrible, it makes sense. But I think there's something deeper than this. Tell me if I'm crazy, okay?

Saving Myself For Marriage Was A waste. Caller (Anna): ...how can I help the bitterness and resentment that's growing in me towards my husband, I feel like he's ruining sx for me. Dr. John Delony: How is he ruining sex for you? Caller: Okay, so background... I grew up... Dr. John Delony: (laughing) You were like, "Okay, let's do this." Caller: (laughs) I grew up very religious. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller: Very religious. No fun things in the bedroom until marriage. Dr. John Delony: Okay, so you didn't sleep with anybody else until you got married. Caller: Correct. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller: I met my husband now, husband at 27, married at 30. So a long time. A long time. Dr. John Delony: Awesome. Caller: And while I absolutely adore him and I think he is a wonderful wonderful person when we got married, it was... it just was not at all... Dr. John Delony: What you had built it up to be? Caller: Yes, and it still isn't. I feel like... and I've... I've talked to him about it, and my thing is... our honeymoon felt like a vacation. It didn't feel like a honeymoon. Dr. John Delony: What does that mean? What does that mean? Caller: That means that I had to initiate a lot of the time. That means that he initiated maybe once in the whole honeymoon. And I feel like he was more concerned about looking pool-time and, you know, sightseeing than he was with the point of the honeymoon, in my opinion. Dr. John Delony: Okay. Caller (Anna): And that carried when we got home, of course, that carried on. It only kind of became a little bit more stagnant. And that aggression, that lust, that passion isn't there. And I've had to initiate a lot, way more than I really want to. And I don't feel desired anymore. And this is going to sound so stupid, but... Dr. John Delony: Nothing you're saying is stupid. Caller (Anna): I've been having these thoughts where it's like, if this was what it was going to be, I could have been having fun in my twenties. Dr. John Delony: Sure. That's not stupid at all, not even a tiny bit. Caller (Anna): Okay. Dr. John Delony: Don't beat yourself up about that. Caller (Anna): What was the point? What was the point if I was just going to have a regular, normal, boring marital sx life, then I could have had fun while I had time, you know? And as horrible as that sounds, it's how I feel, you know? Dr. John Delony: I don't think it sounds horrible. I don't think it sounds horrible, it makes sense. But I think there's something deeper than this. Tell me if I'm crazy, okay?

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48,488 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Man admits he’s been cheating on his wife for 8 years… and still finds ways to blame her. Caller: “I’ve been married more than 20 years. I got involved with a coworker. It’s been about eight years now.” He said he struggled with the situation. “I’ve had a very difficult time dealing with those emotions. It’s drawn me away from being the best husband and father.” But he insisted he didn’t want his marriage to end. “I don’t want a divorce. I never planned this.” Dr. John Delony: “This isn’t a one-night stand. This is an eight-year-long sexual and emotional affair.” Then he challenged the way the caller was talking about it. “You’re talking about it like it just happened.” And then came the question he couldn’t avoid: “You’re going to blame your wife for this too?” Delony pointed out that marital tension doesn’t justify betrayal. “I don’t know a single marriage that doesn’t have tension when kids come along. That’s par for the course.” “And still… you chose to sleep with one of your employees for the better part of a decade.” Then he brought the conversation back to personal responsibility. “You have agency. You’ve always had agency.” His final assessment was brutal: “You’ve burned your house down. It’s already gone.” But he didn’t leave the caller without a path forward. “The only thing you can do now is the next right thing.” The hard truth: An eight year affair isn’t a lapse in judgment. It’s thousands of individual choices repeated over time. You can’t undo them, and you can’t outsource responsibility for them. If there’s any path forward, it starts with stopping the blame, telling the truth, accepting the consequences, and doing the next right thing.

Man admits he’s been cheating on his wife for 8 years… and still finds ways to blame her. Caller: “I’ve been married more than 20 years. I got involved with a coworker. It’s been about eight years now.” He said he struggled with the situation. “I’ve had a very difficult time dealing with those emotions. It’s drawn me away from being the best husband and father.” But he insisted he didn’t want his marriage to end. “I don’t want a divorce. I never planned this.” Dr. John Delony: “This isn’t a one-night stand. This is an eight-year-long sexual and emotional affair.” Then he challenged the way the caller was talking about it. “You’re talking about it like it just happened.” And then came the question he couldn’t avoid: “You’re going to blame your wife for this too?” Delony pointed out that marital tension doesn’t justify betrayal. “I don’t know a single marriage that doesn’t have tension when kids come along. That’s par for the course.” “And still… you chose to sleep with one of your employees for the better part of a decade.” Then he brought the conversation back to personal responsibility. “You have agency. You’ve always had agency.” His final assessment was brutal: “You’ve burned your house down. It’s already gone.” But he didn’t leave the caller without a path forward. “The only thing you can do now is the next right thing.” The hard truth: An eight year affair isn’t a lapse in judgment. It’s thousands of individual choices repeated over time. You can’t undo them, and you can’t outsource responsibility for them. If there’s any path forward, it starts with stopping the blame, telling the truth, accepting the consequences, and doing the next right thing.

FΛME

11,207 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

A husband says his wife wanted to be the sole breadwinner… but he never expected what it would do to their marriage. Caller: “My wife wanted to be the sole breadwinner, and I became the stay-at-home parent.” John Delony: “Did you both agree to this?” Caller: “Yeah. I wanted to be there for my son. I love doing it.” Caller: “But since we’ve had our son, our intimacy has essentially gone to nothing.” John Delony: “Not just sex… is the laughter, eye contact, handholding… is all of that gone too?” Caller: “Yes, pretty much.” Caller: “I’ve done everything she’s asked me to do. More dates, therapy, keeping the house clean, taking care of all the domestic things… nothing has improved.” Caller: “Whenever I bring it up, she says, ‘Oh, we’re on this again.’” John Delony: “Yeah. She doesn’t care.” Caller: “I know she cares about me.” John Delony: “Disagree. Disagree. Disagree.” John Delony: “You’re grasping for scraps of emotional and physical connection.” John Delony: “She’s not working so hard for you and for y’all. She’s working so hard for her.” John Delony: “Marriages only work if they’re co-created.”

A husband says his wife wanted to be the sole breadwinner… but he never expected what it would do to their marriage. Caller: “My wife wanted to be the sole breadwinner, and I became the stay-at-home parent.” John Delony: “Did you both agree to this?” Caller: “Yeah. I wanted to be there for my son. I love doing it.” Caller: “But since we’ve had our son, our intimacy has essentially gone to nothing.” John Delony: “Not just sex… is the laughter, eye contact, handholding… is all of that gone too?” Caller: “Yes, pretty much.” Caller: “I’ve done everything she’s asked me to do. More dates, therapy, keeping the house clean, taking care of all the domestic things… nothing has improved.” Caller: “Whenever I bring it up, she says, ‘Oh, we’re on this again.’” John Delony: “Yeah. She doesn’t care.” Caller: “I know she cares about me.” John Delony: “Disagree. Disagree. Disagree.” John Delony: “You’re grasping for scraps of emotional and physical connection.” John Delony: “She’s not working so hard for you and for y’all. She’s working so hard for her.” John Delony: “Marriages only work if they’re co-created.”

‏ً

13,876 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

John Delony says the first conversation can determine whether you lose your child. Caller: I recently found out my daughter… she’s 15… and I found out she and her friend are dating. My husband and I are Christians, and I’m trying to figure out how to talk to her… what boundaries to set. John Delony: How did you find out they were dating? Caller: She was texting her girlfriend on my phone… she forgot to delete the messages. John Delony: Good for you for being a parent that checks your kid’s phone. You’re a parent. John Delony: Here’s the first thing. If your 15-year-old had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t let him spend the night. Caller: Right. John Delony: So that world ends immediately. Caller: We put a stop to the sleepovers immediately. John Delony: But I want her to know the sleepovers are not ending because you’re gay. John Delony: They’re ending because you’re dating somebody. I wouldn’t let you have any partner over here. John Delony: Then we get to the faith part of this. John Delony: I cannot count the number of parents who’ve come to me and said, “I would do anything to have that first conversation back…” John Delony: “I didn’t just give them my opinion on their sexuality… I lost my kid.” Caller: We haven’t talked to her yet. I was waiting until I talked to you. John Delony: The first and most important thing I’d tell any parent is this… John Delony: “You are my daughter, and I will love you till the end of time.”

John Delony says the first conversation can determine whether you lose your child. Caller: I recently found out my daughter… she’s 15… and I found out she and her friend are dating. My husband and I are Christians, and I’m trying to figure out how to talk to her… what boundaries to set. John Delony: How did you find out they were dating? Caller: She was texting her girlfriend on my phone… she forgot to delete the messages. John Delony: Good for you for being a parent that checks your kid’s phone. You’re a parent. John Delony: Here’s the first thing. If your 15-year-old had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t let him spend the night. Caller: Right. John Delony: So that world ends immediately. Caller: We put a stop to the sleepovers immediately. John Delony: But I want her to know the sleepovers are not ending because you’re gay. John Delony: They’re ending because you’re dating somebody. I wouldn’t let you have any partner over here. John Delony: Then we get to the faith part of this. John Delony: I cannot count the number of parents who’ve come to me and said, “I would do anything to have that first conversation back…” John Delony: “I didn’t just give them my opinion on their sexuality… I lost my kid.” Caller: We haven’t talked to her yet. I was waiting until I talked to you. John Delony: The first and most important thing I’d tell any parent is this… John Delony: “You are my daughter, and I will love you till the end of time.”

‏ً

27,698 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

My best friend passed away… can I date her husband? Caller: “About 10 years ago, I made one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had. She was my ride-or-die.” Then everything changed. “Four years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Around the same time, I filed for divorce from an abusive marriage.” “The day after my divorce was finalized… she lost her battle with cancer.” Years later, her husband reached out. “A few weeks ago, her husband sent me a friend request. We started talking. He wanted someone to sit with him in his grief.” Then she decided not to spend months wondering what his intentions were. “I just asked him straight up if he was interested in something more.” “He said yes.” There’s another complication. “He has four kids. I have six.” Dr. John Delony: “Can I just applaud you for that?” Then he explained why. “I’m an adult. I don’t want to sit here and make up stories for the next seven months.” “I’m just going to ask you do you like me?” “The world would change if more people did that.” The hard truth: There isn’t a universal rule that says you can or can’t date a deceased friend’s spouse. But grief, children, loyalty, and timing make this incredibly complicated. The healthiest thing she did wasn’t rushing into a relationship, it was refusing to live inside assumptions and asking him directly what he wanted.

My best friend passed away… can I date her husband? Caller: “About 10 years ago, I made one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had. She was my ride-or-die.” Then everything changed. “Four years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Around the same time, I filed for divorce from an abusive marriage.” “The day after my divorce was finalized… she lost her battle with cancer.” Years later, her husband reached out. “A few weeks ago, her husband sent me a friend request. We started talking. He wanted someone to sit with him in his grief.” Then she decided not to spend months wondering what his intentions were. “I just asked him straight up if he was interested in something more.” “He said yes.” There’s another complication. “He has four kids. I have six.” Dr. John Delony: “Can I just applaud you for that?” Then he explained why. “I’m an adult. I don’t want to sit here and make up stories for the next seven months.” “I’m just going to ask you do you like me?” “The world would change if more people did that.” The hard truth: There isn’t a universal rule that says you can or can’t date a deceased friend’s spouse. But grief, children, loyalty, and timing make this incredibly complicated. The healthiest thing she did wasn’t rushing into a relationship, it was refusing to live inside assumptions and asking him directly what he wanted.

FΛME

75,791 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

My way of thinking about this topic is asking do we want to solve issues with porn being a substitute for real sex in marriage the easy way or the hard way? Absolutely men have a responsibility to police themselves and not let the behavior of women dictate their own behavior - period. Along side of that we can simultaneously acknowledge the reality that men are most attracted to fit, feminine women. A husband married to a wife that isn’t fit and feminine is a husband who has a problem. The problem is he likes fit and feminine but doesn’t have access to it in his marriage. The problem is amplified if his wife is also a bitter bitch who uses sex as control mechanism. He finds himself between a rock and a hard place. He has normal male desires - normal male desires aren’t being fulfilled. Now what? Do the best he can to ignore his desires or morph them into other desires? Have an affair? Use porn as the next best substitute? All hard options. Alternatively - he can make it clear to his wife his expectations based on his normal male desires and his wife can respond to them - which is the easy way when the wife is as invested in the marriage as the husband is. I talk about this topic on this account all the time because I’m absolutely convinced if both husband and wife put the focus on the easy way - the hard way doesn’t even have to be a topic of consideration or conversation. The video I’m sharing with this post was a video Avis’s coach took last week while she was working with Avis as she’s preparing to get back into competing later this year. Avis is preparing to start competing again because she has the same attitude getting ready to turn 52 as she had in her, 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and so on. That attitude is she wants to make it as easy as she can for me to be happily married to her. I told her a long time ago what my expectations of her were that I believed would provide the most insulation to our marriage and make it as easy as possible for me to be married to her. Staying fit and feminine were a huge part of those expectations. She didn’t try to make it out as if I was asking something unreasonable of her - she didn’t say my male desires were gross and that I needed to talk to Jesus about them - she didn’t go complain to her friends what a terrible husband I was - she didn’t threaten me with divorce over my expectations or any of the other things too many wives often do to try to control their marriages. She simply said she would give it her best and throughout 3+ decades of marriage and the birthing and raising of 3 children over those decades - that is exactly what she did and continues to do. However much husbands might think they can learn from me and what I share on this account - I think wives could learn 10x more from Avis and how to make their husbands life easy instead of hard. The best defense against porn ruining a marriage is being in a marriage that’s easy to be in. -R

My way of thinking about this topic is asking do we want to solve issues with porn being a substitute for real sex in marriage the easy way or the hard way? Absolutely men have a responsibility to police themselves and not let the behavior of women dictate their own behavior - period. Along side of that we can simultaneously acknowledge the reality that men are most attracted to fit, feminine women. A husband married to a wife that isn’t fit and feminine is a husband who has a problem. The problem is he likes fit and feminine but doesn’t have access to it in his marriage. The problem is amplified if his wife is also a bitter bitch who uses sex as control mechanism. He finds himself between a rock and a hard place. He has normal male desires - normal male desires aren’t being fulfilled. Now what? Do the best he can to ignore his desires or morph them into other desires? Have an affair? Use porn as the next best substitute? All hard options. Alternatively - he can make it clear to his wife his expectations based on his normal male desires and his wife can respond to them - which is the easy way when the wife is as invested in the marriage as the husband is. I talk about this topic on this account all the time because I’m absolutely convinced if both husband and wife put the focus on the easy way - the hard way doesn’t even have to be a topic of consideration or conversation. The video I’m sharing with this post was a video Avis’s coach took last week while she was working with Avis as she’s preparing to get back into competing later this year. Avis is preparing to start competing again because she has the same attitude getting ready to turn 52 as she had in her, 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and so on. That attitude is she wants to make it as easy as she can for me to be happily married to her. I told her a long time ago what my expectations of her were that I believed would provide the most insulation to our marriage and make it as easy as possible for me to be married to her. Staying fit and feminine were a huge part of those expectations. She didn’t try to make it out as if I was asking something unreasonable of her - she didn’t say my male desires were gross and that I needed to talk to Jesus about them - she didn’t go complain to her friends what a terrible husband I was - she didn’t threaten me with divorce over my expectations or any of the other things too many wives often do to try to control their marriages. She simply said she would give it her best and throughout 3+ decades of marriage and the birthing and raising of 3 children over those decades - that is exactly what she did and continues to do. However much husbands might think they can learn from me and what I share on this account - I think wives could learn 10x more from Avis and how to make their husbands life easy instead of hard. The best defense against porn ruining a marriage is being in a marriage that’s easy to be in. -R

Rob and Avis Ramble

130,703 görüntüleme • 8 ay önce

Young wife who has no desire for sex just 15 months into her marriage asks Dr. John Delony for advice. Caller: “We’ve only been married for 15 months. I was a virgin when we got married, and now I resent sex. It feels like an obligation, and I honestly couldn’t care less about it.” Dr. John Delony encouraged her to look beyond the physical issue; “Your body might say, ‘You’re not leaving? We’re shutting the system down.’” He also challenged her husband to change the way he was showing up in the relationship. “He has to stop criticizing you, because you can’t stand before him with no clothes on if you don’t feel emotionally safe.” The hard truth: Sexual intimacy rarely exists in isolation. When criticism, pressure, fear, or emotional disconnection become part of a relationship, desire often fades. Rebuilding intimacy usually starts with rebuilding emotional safety and trust not with demanding better performance.

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Young wife who has no desire for sex just 15 months into her marriage asks Dr. John Delony for advice. Caller: “We’ve only been married for 15 months. I was a virgin when we got married, and now I resent sex. It feels like an obligation, and I honestly couldn’t care less about it.” Dr. John Delony encouraged her to look beyond the physical issue; “Your body might say, ‘You’re not leaving? We’re shutting the system down.’” He also challenged her husband to change the way he was showing up in the relationship. “He has to stop criticizing you, because you can’t stand before him with no clothes on if you don’t feel emotionally safe.” The hard truth: Sexual intimacy rarely exists in isolation. When criticism, pressure, fear, or emotional disconnection become part of a relationship, desire often fades. Rebuilding intimacy usually starts with rebuilding emotional safety and trust not with demanding better performance.

FΛME

685,056 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

I Had A One-Night Stand With My Wife's Step-Mother. (How Do My Wife And I Rebuild Our Marriage?) Caller: How do me and my wife rebuild our marriage after I had a... a one-night stand, or like a hookup I guess, with her stepmother?'" let's just, as they say, back that thing up. Say what?" Dr. John Delony: "Wait, wait, wait, in all seriousness, like what... what happened? Cam: "Um, we were all drinking together. Um, we all killed a bottle of tequila, the three of us within the hour. Um, and then it was just me and her stepmom in the... in her apartment. Um, my wife went downstairs with the kids and all that good stuff, and they were swimming and..." "Um, basic... she was asleep and I was on the couch. I was going to wake her up for her work call 'cause she was like supervisor or whatever and had to... and uh like send a closing email. So I was standing there making sure she woke up to do that. And when she woke up, her uh top fell off, she was wearing a bikini, her top fell off and... put it back on, and then I kind of like pursued after that and..." Dr. John Delony: "So, your... your marriage is over. You're not going to rebuild this." Cam: "Yeah." Dr. John Delony: "Yeah. I mean, I can't think of a more egregious violation, man. I can: kids. And beyond kids, this." Cam: "Yeah, it's definitely..." Dr. John Delony: "Yeah, you've blown it up. I think the integrity thing to do is to... uh, treat your wife with dignity and respect as... y'all make... uh, I mean, I can't think of a more, like, just... uh... dishonoring thing you could do to somebody, man." Cam: "I agree. It was the most... biggest... dumbest decision I've ever made and my biggest regret, and I just..." Dr. John Delony: "How long have you been married?" Cam: "Um, this year would be 5 years." Dr. John Delony: "Were those kids yours?" Cam: "Um, it was her... one of them is, and she was with my... her uh little brother and sister as well." Dr. John Delony: "Okay, so your wife has two kids by somebody else?" Cam: "No, she... there was three down there. One... it was just one, that was our daughter, that's the only kid we have. And then the other kids were her stepmom's kids." Dr. John Delony: "Okay." Cam: "Her brother and sister." Dr. John Delony: "So, obviously you know this is... this is just like insanely sensational and it's going to make for good YouTube clips and all that. And you also know that what you did is like... it's just the lowest thing you could do to somebody." "But I... so I'm not going to kick you while you're down anymore. Like, what's the world been like since then?" Cam: "Ugh... I've just been trying to figure everything out. Um, it's been really, really hard. Um, I mean, "You know, I've been trying hard to... forgive myself and to... you know, just work on myself 'cause that's all I can do at this point. "Um, me and my wife are cohabitating right now. Um, we're... still in the same room and stuff. Um... we've been able to go and do things together, and be... be civil, and been, you know, nothing... nothing crazy. Our marriage wasn't perfect before this by any means, obviously, or this wouldn't have even been close to happening, but..." Dr. John Delony: "Does your wife want to stay married to you?" Cam: "She's in limbo right now. I mean..." Dr. John Delony: what's the limbo?" Cam: "Um, we just need to work on our... I mean, we've been attached at the hip since we were 17. Um, and really lost ourselves in our relationship. We just... um, got... you know, got together real quick and moved out of state after that real quick, and then had a baby by 18. So our whole life was just each other and baby. And then now..."

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I Had A One-Night Stand With My Wife's Step-Mother. (How Do My Wife And I Rebuild Our Marriage?) Caller: How do me and my wife rebuild our marriage after I had a... a one-night stand, or like a hookup I guess, with her stepmother?'" let's just, as they say, back that thing up. Say what?" Dr. John Delony: "Wait, wait, wait, in all seriousness, like what... what happened? Cam: "Um, we were all drinking together. Um, we all killed a bottle of tequila, the three of us within the hour. Um, and then it was just me and her stepmom in the... in her apartment. Um, my wife went downstairs with the kids and all that good stuff, and they were swimming and..." "Um, basic... she was asleep and I was on the couch. I was going to wake her up for her work call 'cause she was like supervisor or whatever and had to... and uh like send a closing email. So I was standing there making sure she woke up to do that. And when she woke up, her uh top fell off, she was wearing a bikini, her top fell off and... put it back on, and then I kind of like pursued after that and..." Dr. John Delony: "So, your... your marriage is over. You're not going to rebuild this." Cam: "Yeah." Dr. John Delony: "Yeah. I mean, I can't think of a more egregious violation, man. I can: kids. And beyond kids, this." Cam: "Yeah, it's definitely..." Dr. John Delony: "Yeah, you've blown it up. I think the integrity thing to do is to... uh, treat your wife with dignity and respect as... y'all make... uh, I mean, I can't think of a more, like, just... uh... dishonoring thing you could do to somebody, man." Cam: "I agree. It was the most... biggest... dumbest decision I've ever made and my biggest regret, and I just..." Dr. John Delony: "How long have you been married?" Cam: "Um, this year would be 5 years." Dr. John Delony: "Were those kids yours?" Cam: "Um, it was her... one of them is, and she was with my... her uh little brother and sister as well." Dr. John Delony: "Okay, so your wife has two kids by somebody else?" Cam: "No, she... there was three down there. One... it was just one, that was our daughter, that's the only kid we have. And then the other kids were her stepmom's kids." Dr. John Delony: "Okay." Cam: "Her brother and sister." Dr. John Delony: "So, obviously you know this is... this is just like insanely sensational and it's going to make for good YouTube clips and all that. And you also know that what you did is like... it's just the lowest thing you could do to somebody." "But I... so I'm not going to kick you while you're down anymore. Like, what's the world been like since then?" Cam: "Ugh... I've just been trying to figure everything out. Um, it's been really, really hard. Um, I mean, "You know, I've been trying hard to... forgive myself and to... you know, just work on myself 'cause that's all I can do at this point. "Um, me and my wife are cohabitating right now. Um, we're... still in the same room and stuff. Um... we've been able to go and do things together, and be... be civil, and been, you know, nothing... nothing crazy. Our marriage wasn't perfect before this by any means, obviously, or this wouldn't have even been close to happening, but..." Dr. John Delony: "Does your wife want to stay married to you?" Cam: "She's in limbo right now. I mean..." Dr. John Delony: what's the limbo?" Cam: "Um, we just need to work on our... I mean, we've been attached at the hip since we were 17. Um, and really lost ourselves in our relationship. We just... um, got... you know, got together real quick and moved out of state after that real quick, and then had a baby by 18. So our whole life was just each other and baby. And then now..."

Hecto Crypto | NetLink ⛓

43,985 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Caller: "How do I tell my daughter that I don't want to participate in her wedding events because I just don't like the guy that she's marrying? You know, I don't like the guy because he's a jerk. He's a screamer, he yells and screams when he doesn't get his way, does the guilt-tripping, financially abusive a whole laundry list of reasons that he wouldn't make a, a good husband right now. And looks like it's going forward, and there's, you know, just not anything I can do about it." Dr. John Delony: "Let's take the wedding and let's move it off to the side for a second. Tell me with raw, transparent honesty: when is another time in her life when she was making decisions that you didn't like and you backed up and walked away? Caller: "Oh goodness... when she moved out to go live with her dad after our divorce. My ex-husband was an addict. He ultimately chose being an addict over his family. When we divorced, the children were old enough to make the decision of where they wanted to go, and she chose to live with him. And I just really took a big step back." Dr. John Delony: "How old was your daughter?" Caller: "Sixteen. Dr. John Delony: "Okay. Did Mom and Dad ever bail on you? Caller: "Oh, yeah, I, I had nobody. Dr. John Delony: "I would be willing to bet money that there's still a 14 or 15 or 16-year-old little girl inside your chest that is wondering, 'What was so bad about me that Mom and Dad left?' But that 16-year-old that sits and lives inside your chest would do anything for a conversation with your dad to lean across a table and say, 'I screwed up, honey, and I'm so sorry. You were always beautiful, you always smart.'

Caller: "How do I tell my daughter that I don't want to participate in her wedding events because I just don't like the guy that she's marrying? You know, I don't like the guy because he's a jerk. He's a screamer, he yells and screams when he doesn't get his way, does the guilt-tripping, financially abusive a whole laundry list of reasons that he wouldn't make a, a good husband right now. And looks like it's going forward, and there's, you know, just not anything I can do about it." Dr. John Delony: "Let's take the wedding and let's move it off to the side for a second. Tell me with raw, transparent honesty: when is another time in her life when she was making decisions that you didn't like and you backed up and walked away? Caller: "Oh goodness... when she moved out to go live with her dad after our divorce. My ex-husband was an addict. He ultimately chose being an addict over his family. When we divorced, the children were old enough to make the decision of where they wanted to go, and she chose to live with him. And I just really took a big step back." Dr. John Delony: "How old was your daughter?" Caller: "Sixteen. Dr. John Delony: "Okay. Did Mom and Dad ever bail on you? Caller: "Oh, yeah, I, I had nobody. Dr. John Delony: "I would be willing to bet money that there's still a 14 or 15 or 16-year-old little girl inside your chest that is wondering, 'What was so bad about me that Mom and Dad left?' But that 16-year-old that sits and lives inside your chest would do anything for a conversation with your dad to lean across a table and say, 'I screwed up, honey, and I'm so sorry. You were always beautiful, you always smart.'

Hecto Crypto | NetLink ⛓

57,659 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce