I Am a J6er It happened after J6 I don't remember when I first thought about killing myself. Perhaps when i received the dear John email my Ex sent, asking for a divorce while I was locked up, or when my father called me a fvcking insurrectionist. Maybe the... business failing or my face all over the headlines. Almost every J6er has thought of this escape. I have learned that if someone expresses suicidal thoughts, you have to ask them if they had a plan. My only plan was to try to get out of bed, pray, get some exercise, and go to work. I was lucky i found a job and kept my faith. Some couldn't make it. Like Matthew Perna. I heard of his story from his Aunt Geri Perna And her consostent message might have saved my life. The video is what cost himnhis. Every J6er carries a story of persecution, the likes of which we haven't seen since slavery. The grief and mental anguish rose and fell as we wrestled toward acceptance of where we were. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Some moved through these stages quickly. Others remained trapped and are still to this day. We grieved the lives we lost, the country we thought was real, the families, jobs, and friends who walked away. Those who couldn't make it. Rest in Peace — Matthew Perna Jord Meachum Mark Aungst Christopher Stanton Matthew Weble Most of us slid back and forth, and still do, trudging toward acceptance. And yes… we had all thought about it. Ending it all. J6er Grief. I tried to untangle the grieving process of my own J6 journey. It was a tangled web of intertwined emotions — explosions of pain where one stage bled into the next and I could no longer tell where one ended and another began. In August of 2021 I wrote this to mark where I stood: Denial: March to November 2020 Anger: November 2020 to January 2021 Depression & Bargaining: January 2021 onward I did not yet know what true acceptance would look like. Would it mean becoming a doormat? Or would it mean finally learning to dissent and fight from a place of peace? I was still working on it. The multi-headed hydra of calamity hit all at once: The trauma of my arrest. The destruction of my job and finances. Family and friends walking away. My life being ripped apart forever. And the divorce. I went from a baseball dad with a successful real estate business, living on a lake with my family… to an old man, lyingnlow, selling homes, keeping exoenses low renting out rooms, and living in the basement of a rental home. If i get pinched again i can survive. And I am one of the lucky ones. I cried the Tuesday before Thanksgiving a few years ago. In a support group I attended, I shared how heartbroken I was that I would not be with my family for the holidays for the first time in nearly twenty years. For a few seconds I broke down in a room full of men. My sobs and silent tears echoed in that still church basement. I was sadder than I sometimes allowed myself to feel… but I came to believe I was healing. My J6 persecution took so much from me that I could never be made whole. Only by God’s divine grace was I still standing. Many arent. I had wondered: If they had simply given me the $50 ticket every other liberal illegal picketing protester received — before J6 and after — would she have stayed? If I had spent years in prison instead of 30 days, would absence have made the heart grow fonder? Or was the outcome already written? I became okay. The holidays were hard. I understood that firsthand. Many suffered far worse than me. This, too, passed. I had faith. Fear and faith cannot live in the same house. I grieved deeply. And in that grieving, I found acceptance. By God’s grace, the darkness lifted. The grief shaped me but did not define me. I rose from the ashes — scarred, but standing. There is still pain, but there is also peace. There is still loss, but there is also love. The best days are not behind us. They are still ahead. Acceptance God Bless the J6ers.show more

John M. Cameron

43,960 subscribers

Paylaş İndir