I hope Ben was successfully uploaded

Do a parachute jump screaming "I am sorry, Ben"

Wake Up is out now on Youtube

I remember sitting in a diner after a small ceremony to spread my brother’s ashes at one of his favorite places. As we were feasting on omelettes, bacon, scrapple, and pancakes; I looked down and saw some of his ashes on all of our shoes. I chuckled at the absurdity of it all.

Order chic-fil-a in a cow suit and pretend you are from corporate

Your punishment should be ferret chili. Dealer’s choice: Ferret assisted chili or Chili containing ferrets. It would be cruel to have ferrets help make chili out of other ferrets tho, so pick a lane. I’d go with ferret assisted because they’re cuter as helpers.

Wait until it starts to rain. Mop him up while it’s raining. Once he dried out, you’ve successfully downloaded him from the cloud. Returning Ben is your call

Hopefully the upload was successful!

You must now go skydiving in a chicken suit for this joke.

I refuse to recommend punishment. That was a certified banger.

On Ash Wednesday no less.

He probably would have appreciated it