I woke up to this

Literally worse than 9/11

"Behold this geometric marvel I have created through use of only a teaspoon of my genetic material and a consenting womb. Look upon the squareness of his head in contrast to the rounded cheeks. The smallness of the face. A forehead as thick as the hull of the USS Ronald Reagan."

Why does everything get 5/5 on the boom meter? Maybe it’s broken.

5/5 on the drool meter. Gross.

They’re just making straight up commercials now

GM to The Rizzler and only The Rizzler

You know the fat kid had half a box as soon as the camera turned off.

i hate that i love that i hate that i love this