If I speak............ 👁️‍👁️

Can i just say the relationship that can heal doesnt need to be romantic? But you have to be vulnerable and allow yourself to actually be seen fully to heal and that can be done with platonic or familial love just as well as romantic

YES. I don’t necessarily believe you have to heal from everything on your own before getting into another relationship. Some of that work, yes but sometimes being loved by someone who is patient, consistent, and genuinely good to you helps you work through things you couldn’t have worked through alone. There’s a lot of healing that happens when someone shows you, through their actions, that love doesn’t have to hurt the way it did before.

I agree and disagree. gotta do some real solo work to be ready to show up and accept a healing relationship. some things are not in relation to others, and some things are. a healing relationship (platonic or romantic) can only happen if you’ve laid the groundwork internally

Okay so I actually broke up with someone because they refused to do any healing work for the entire time we were in a relationship, *because* we were in a relationship. I was an excuse, the relationship continuing was enabling her dysfunction.

playing devils advocate, but i feel like this is often untrue. my first thought is incel culture, it's not uncommon that they have friends and a circle of other incels to echo chamber. i doubt a relationship would fix an andrew tate or a clavicular.

relationship wounds only get healed in relationships, sorry to say!

Link to TikTok:

this speaks to the fundamental issue. no one wants to put any effort into the feelings of others. people will see that there IS baggage and immediately turn the other way when that person could have been the healing they needed

I saw someone mention this RE: CPTSD and how they really only started healing once they met their current partner and they worked together to help them build a better foundation for themselves and uh, definitely made me think a lot ^^'

It's like fixing your ACL then going back to play ball. Before you go back to the ball though, you gotta build some good habits like stretching, warming up etc. Then when you play, you gotta play right. Take it easy, keep track of your body. You need to balance.

Yeah... for years, I used to operate under, "You need to fix everything about yourself 100% before you even THINK about being close with other people," but humans just don't work that way. If anything, it can create massive blind spots in oneself that others shine a light on.

I keep saying that you can't heal on your own. I need to be with other people but I'm alone all the time and I can't ever do anything. It's not making me any better to be constantly alone, it's making things worse

Two guys throwing chairs while arguing meme

I think what becomes tricky, especially when repeated trauma has occurred within relationship - it just feels unsafe. Like why would someone who has been treated like rubbish over and over again, want to put themselves out for it to maybe happen again lol? (1)

I believe thissssssss

There's no way to heal on your own but there's no way anyone wants to spend time with you when you're broken so what are you supposed to do? The loneliness strips away more and more of you each day and that makes people less and less likely to want to be near you

yes and no. i think some problems you have to work on yourseldfmentally first, and then see how you react in close proximity to someone else. like if u have an avoidant attachment style, maybe don't try and date b4 wanting and doing better.

i feel like a lot of healing starts alone, but it goes into refinement & u catch stuff that u never thought you even needed to heal once u get in a relationship. it isn’t to say be in one for the sake of healing, just gotta know some shit is gonna come up whenever u do get there

Dunno about this video. I think too many people either paper over their issues when in a relationship or (usually men) outsource their healing to their non-expert partner. Too few people get therapy after a bat relationship ends. If they did, they'd have help to unpack it.

Cool, guess I’ll just die then, ain’t nobody dating the damaged boy so nothing getting healed.

This primarily refers to attachment styles imo. Then can apply to other things too. But she’s right. When it comes to unhealthy relationship patterns, then you need to practice in a relationship. Just like a boxer will all the technique but no sparring XP will not be so good.

I kinda won’t can’t fall for this propaganda cause most ppl are not healed! Just be dating ppl attachment styles and triggers. It’s exhausting and not a healing experience most times

You make a great point 🤏🏽🤏🏽🤏🏽

Interesting take

I feel like therapy would be a vaccine in this analogy. It's done in isolation but still provides a "healing" before exposure

Hmmmm

Mmh.

Depends

Pay for therapy!

Facts bruh u gotta be tested with emotional calamties before u can say u are content and healed or else its just an untested virtue you are attribting to yourself

BEEN SAYING THIS

Absolutely false.