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It’s actually insane how Eddie literally saw two parents torturing their daughter for “stepping out” on her faith and trapping her in a CLOSET….. and then he proceeded to make that connection to back to HIMSELF and RELATE to it…….
30,593 görüntüleme • 9 ay önce •via X (Twitter)
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“Our 15-year-old is having sex… and my husband is furious.” Caller: “A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I discovered that our 15 year old daughter had been sneaking her boyfriend into her bedroom through the window. Then we found out this wasn’t the first time. They had been sexually active in her bedroom across the hall from ours on multiple occasions. We took her cell phone. Took her bedroom door off. No driving privileges. And she can’t participate in any after-school activities for the rest of the year.” Dr. John Delony: “You took away her phone, her door, her privacy, and her connection to her friends. A 15 year old girl who is sneaking a boy into her room and is sexually active is a body screaming for connection. The solution can’t be less connection. It sounds like two adults got really embarrassed that they missed something happening right across the hallway and then used all of their power.” And that’s where this gets uncomfortable. The hard truth: The parents weren’t wrong to be alarmed. But punishment can become a way for embarrassed parents to regain control instead of actually solving the problem. Their daughter broke a serious boundary. That requires consequences. But consequences and isolation aren’t the same thing. If you remove every source of privacy, friendship, transportation, activities, and communication, you might stop the behavior temporarily. But you haven’t necessarily addressed why she was willing to risk getting caught in the first place. And there’s another uncomfortable question: How did two parents discover that their 15-year-old had been sexually active multiple times only after the fact? That question hurts because it turns the spotlight back on the adults. The goal isn’t to make her afraid of her parents. It’s to make her know that when something goes wrong, her parents are the people she can run toward not the people she has to hide from. You can hold a hard boundary and still keep the relationship open. Because parenting isn’t about proving who has the most power. It’s about using your power to build a child who eventually knows how to make good decisions when you aren’t standing in the room.
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