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it's irritating!
588,717 görüntüleme • 10 ay önce •via X (Twitter)
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Not every person of "diverse orientation" is proud of their identity, sometimes its a great source of shame. Through years of work I've found ways to make peace with my baseline, some days are easier than others. Every day i overcompensate by doubling my femininity because maybe I can't control my mind but I can min-max my female privilege. I don't care about the "gender presentation" aspect, never have. Organ placement, while it affects me, isn't who or what i am in my value to the world. My value lies in what i create and what i'll leave behind. It's not the "desire for pronouns" or "I want the world to see me as" - It's the visceral sickness of the private physicality. Sometimes the worms shred you and make your skin prick, and you feel foreign, feeling things that "should be physically there" or a strange sense of disassembly from what you operate. It's why when people say being this way ISNT a mental illness its just "Who you are" I know they're hoping for someone's approval or fell for virtual propaganda. I am Midas, Born female and remaining such, and I care deeply for the people who have chosen to physically transition. It's ironic, the one thing that stopped me from taking the last step wasn't a talk, religion, or "mistreatment". It was watching my younger and older brothers suffer in normal circumstances for no reason, and knowing deep down i would inherit their pains of which i would be woefully unprepared. "I would feel physically more comfortable, but then the world would be my enemy, and i would be alone until i die." Once I realized that was my great fear, it had me re-examine how selfish of a person I truly am. Self focused, irritating, and hollow. Ironically it probably has made me a better woman and a better person, as disgusting as i feel about it all. I've at least found peace with who i will become. I want to be beautiful, I want to be loved, I want my family safe and healthy. Maybe one day I will break, but I hope its not for a long time for the sake of peace. [Un]Happy Pride, consider this my public admission of dysphoria that i have chosen to fight against and not alongside. Take this song i made over a year ago now for the knowers who have known lmao
Midas ⚠️🕶️- SYNDICATE
48,824 görüntüleme • 27 gün önce

