正在加载视频...

视频加载失败

I've been missing your company. I came really close to checking into a mental hospital. I haven't needed that kind of saving since the late 90's. I'm so frustrated with my health, and feeling that I'm not in control, that I didn't trust myself. I got the lower back...

61,404 次观看 • 3 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

0 条评论

暂无评论

原始帖子的评论将显示在这里

相关视频

it's my birthday. sometimes I feel like I'm 10 years behind in life. deep down I know that that this year will be the best and hardest year of my life but I gotta be honest the five folks who care for a minute. spent the past decade depressed, embarrassed that I wasn't more talented or more successful, guilt ridden for not being mature enough to handle life the way I would've liked when I was younger, keeping my head down trying to work on myself and trying to hone my skills to be a better storyteller. just years of telling myself I'm not good enough, telling myself I'm not old enough or lucky enough. telling myself who the fuck cares about what I do or create. like how the fuck can I do what so many others do. fuck off for even thinking you can do it stephen. I'm not a special person, I'm just a dude. some idiot. who has been in the film industry since I was a kid. an industry I left for a while because I needed to disconnect, I needed time to figure out my life after working since the second grade. needed to find my love and passion. and I did. which is making things for people to enjoy. but it hasn't been that simple. that pivot was like a hard reset. suddenly everything I'd ever achieved meant nothing. it's been a constant grind every day while trying to keep a roof over my head taking on retail jobs, service jobs, handyman gigs after leading shows and movies. and that's okay. like I've gotten clowned on it but you gotta make it work. in between all of that I've been lucky to work with huge brands, do stellar uncredited work on amazing flicks and slowly chip away on my own goals. for the past decade I haven't been able to sleep easily. can't turn off my brain. thinking about how I'm never doing enough for hours just in bed. telling myself maybe it'll be different tomorrow while hiding from the world making unhealthy decisions, not taking care of myself. a lot of times I do feel like I've missed out on my life, especially the past ten years. I've just been working. when I'm not working I'm working on the side with nothing to show for it. just endless chasing rent while being delusional about creating a better life. if you're not careful this kinda dream can suck the life out of you. you lose your passion for it. but I haven't. so much of me has just been waiting in the background of my own life, thinking there would be some moment of realization when I've worked on myself enough and I suddenly I feel like "oh I've got this." waited for that moment but it never came. don't think it ever will. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of thinking I'm not ready, I'm tired of telling myself I'm not good enough. it's not true. I won't give up. I won't give up on trying to entertain people. I won't give up on my dream of helping my friends fulfill their own. I never will. love and appreciate all of you for sticking with me and watching what I do and being here for me. 90% of my body is made of movies, games and soundtracks; so because I'm a cringe dork, I have meme'd for years that I feel like reclusive bruce wayne in the dark knight rises (but broke and less handsome) afflicted by failures unable to accept that my life can go on. but that's bullshit. maybe I needed an era to change and hurt and struggle and learn and become who I wanted to be. life comes and goes in eras. and I'm in my begins era now baby.

Stephen Ford

30,135 次观看 • 1 年前

I am suffering. Tonight I just need somebody to hear me. It would help if I could go live but I can't make it to the table. I'm so disgusted with how my health has been mismanaged. I have been to the ER several times because the pain I'm in is unbearable. I've had MRIs, CT scans, ultrasounds, all kinds of labs and cultures. I've been admitted for pain control and observation three times. I just found out that I've had a kidney infection since December. DECEMBER! I don't know how I lived with it this long. My insurance sent this booklet to my home when I was released from the hospital one of the first times. I thought it was an error because nobody mentioned chronic kidney disease and nobody treated me for an ongoing infection. I checked all the lab results and read all the physician notes. Imagine seeing recurrent UTIs every visit but never any treatment... It's not recurring, it never left. They ran an IV so quick I could feel my bladder filling. They gave me a dose of antibiotics through the bag and sent me home with capsules. I was hoping that I'd feel better as the infection cleared but I'm halfway done and no relief. I'm still having pelvic pain and bleeding. Today I was finally referred to Sutter and UC Davis to meet with the gyn who'll do my surgery. This is after I had appointments with doctors who couldn't even do the surgery. On top of that, I was being referred to the same office of the doctor who nearly gutted me January 2025 and then wouldn't return calls to me or the hospital. I said I'm not going to that office. They assured me it would be with a different doctor in the group. The same group that hired him after he was found to be treating women beyond the scope of his license. NO THANKS! I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I do know that it started August 2024 and I'm tired of hurting and bleeding, being nauseous, and wearing pads and diapers. I have fibroids that weren't there in the beginning, cysts growing in my ovaries, and urinary incontinence. What's scarier than all of that is I'm having cognitive issues. I'm having difficulty figuring out simple things and remembering things from the same day. It's really feeling like the twilight zone.

ijustlovepuzzles

116,347 次观看 • 3 个月前

If you hate KAT, I suggest you reconsider... "I feel like other than losing a child there's nothing worse you could go through and it builds you up and it strengthens you beyond measure. That's why I got Philippians 4:13 and the date tattooed on my neck. I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me but I was strengthened on April 13 when I lost my mother. That's been my favorite Bible verse my whole entire life since I was little. I didn't know the significance it would have in my life when I became an adult. But what I do know is that I truly can do anything when I walk in faith, when I walk with the angels beside me. I feel anything's possible, I feel nothing's impossible... I'm just grateful to be in this position because I know a lot of friends in mind that are not here to see this moment. I know a lot of people I love tremendously that aren't here to give me that hug or to give me that text message. I'm doing this for them. I do this for them, I do it for my mother's country, I do it for everybody in Dominican Republic, I do it for everyone in the city that welcomed my mother when she immigrated over. I do it for all my family in New Jersey that allowed me to be raised and allowed me to love this game of basketball and allowed me to be a kid with my mother and enjoy those times. It takes a tribe to get here and it takes a village and I'm so blessed that I've had the village I've had in my life to get to this point"

Oh No He Didn't

2,349,029 次观看 • 2 个月前