Marry your best friend

I love that because once I called the fire department over a burning tree and it turned out to be pollen

Great delivery on the story

You have such a good movie about how you met her!!!

Omg this is hilarious 😆

Where was the laughing part

You happen to be an excellent comedic actor, but you were born to tell stories.

Visiting my sister in college, there’s a smell, could it be a gas leak? We call 911, they come & detect the odor is the chef boyfriend’s new-in-box work shoes he left in the kitchen. To be fair they were really off gassing, and near the stove. We were mortified, so many fireMEN.

Idk if I trust someone who's promoting a clip of them on Ellen 🧐

My in-laws had a home in the TX hill country and their bedroom had an exterior door. They’d use it when the dog wanted to go out at night. So one night my father-in-law woke out of a dream about burning tires. Turns out that when my mother-in-law let the dog out, he got skunked and came tearing ass back into the house before they could stop him…

🤣🤣🤣that's fucking awesome