Most women feel this but never say it..

I’m back on the road doin standup. Tickets at 😎

@lilly_um_sparks She’s clearly driving

@lilly_um_sparks His mistake was being limited to moving in 3 dimensions . Real player out here gliding in up to 7 dimensions.

@lilly_um_sparks Couldn't agree more You're in an accident, so she's clearly driving, & now you're gonna let yourself roll around like a lil baby? Whenever my girl is driving, I always know a crash is imminent - so I take charge. I'm prepared. She's crashed 7 times & guess what? No Ick.

@lilly_um_sparks Best sarcasm ever

@lilly_um_sparks cliffhanger of the century

@lilly_um_sparks It sounds made up, but I was once hit by a car going 40 and got thrown up 20ft, and somehow managed to tuck myself in midair and land like Thor, crouched with a fist on the ground. Left half of my body was broken, but the adrenaline let me walk off. The girls were rizzed for sure

@lilly_um_sparks This sounds entirely made up. 95% of woman would be super empathetic and nurturing even if the relationship was crap.

@lilly_um_sparks I keep refreshing, but he refuses to tell me the one exception

@lilly_um_sparks