Never a dull moment.

Good Lord, the thirst is real.

you never heard this before

That last one took a second to process and I hate myself for taking the time to process it….

Just title the whole list, "How to piss off a woman who's a good marksman and owns many guns" Just kind of duh, when you put it that way.

How much for a locket of your hair I'll pay top 💵 dollar!

Omg this is the best day of my life!! You finally acknowledged i exist. I am forever yours, truly. Love you my dearest 👑, signed your #1 fan 💓💓 💋💋

Shit. Those were really good. Deleting my drafts and going back to the drawing board.

That last one has some serious Criminal Minds vibes

Heather you accepted the request for the “pay for your soles” guy who is totally not the devil without grammar check enabled. That’s pretty much consent. It’s science.

and they say chivalry is dead

Damn. That makes me want to ask you for a tit pic. Lmfao. J/k. Stay real girl