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Never Do This With Your Partner.
210,075 views • 1 year ago •via X (Twitter)
34 Comments

The eye roll signals disrespect, which from a person who's supposed to love you is worse than hatred. There was a study done some years ago watching a few minutes of interaction between newlyweds. From those few minutes they could predict with tremendous accuracy which couples would split & which would stay together. The biggest factor was the eye roll. Even if done teasingly & with apparent humor, it signaled disrespect & a sense of superiority. Hard for a relationship to survive that.

Sometimes eyerolling is frustration, not hatred Take it down a notch, man

Yeah, nah. Eye rolling can also mean: look, whatever, I can be bothered arguing (or similar).

This is the clearest insight I’ve had on how men perceive the “eye roll.” I learned that I am an unconscious eye roller years ago after a misunderstanding with a male friend. The intention behind my eye roll is to express exasperation or “whatever,” which I realize is also not very kind. I never imagined it could be perceived as “hatred.” I was shocked to learn about this from that Arthur Brooks episode. (Love him!) It was very enlightening. I’ve rolled my eyes at family and female friends too, so at least I know I'm an equal-opportunity eye-roller. However, it is a negative behavior I am actively working to extinguish, so I've asked people close to me to bring it to my attention if/when I do it. Happy to report I’ve had no recent offenses. However, I’m curious to know if it is still appropriate to use the eye roll emoji? I feel like bad jokes, silly puns and a lot of political posts call for a well-placed 🙄! (😉)

Assuming it’s always hatred is not technically correct. There is no definitive science on eye rolling. People can experience emotions ranging from disgust to disbelief, with ranges of intensity.

Contempt is the most poisonous tool — an instrument of unprocessed hate, a cellular-level jealousy that erodes kindness and hardens the soul, delivered in a simple smirk, a stare disguised as a smile, dusted with bitterness — subtle enough to pass as civility, sharp enough to cut through dignity. Get away quick. :)

Bro my eyes roll at everything I could be happy asf and my eyes just roll. Stop it. 🤣🙄

Any sign of contempt opens the door to vacate

It's often the little things that hurt the most. Things we or the other may not even recognize fully - but subconscious we do.

He just described way more than what occurs in marriage. That’s a blueprint and foundation of much we see between humans today.

Some people are disgusting, though, and it jeopardises your survival to stay around them.

It’s a small action but packs a big punch. Let’s aim for understanding, not dismissal.

@ChrisWillx hi Chris, what is this guests name? I would like to listen to the whole inter

Eye-rolling says “you’re beneath me.” Nothing survives that. Try: listen, reflect, request. Repeat until calm.

Never treat your significant other like a pathogen. Great advice, lol.

I will never ever normalize calling my husband my “partner” we are not gay and we don’t own a business together. We never used this word back in the 80’s 90’s.

My dog occasionally rolls her eyes at me. Honestly I think I this is a hyperbolic take. I’m not saying it’s OK to do it but at the same time it’s a very common way for women to express themselves without being overtly aggressive. Apparently this man has never lived with a teenage girl.

This is what Israel does to the Palestinians. Interesting

My eye roll reaction of disgust entered my marriage when my husband wouldn't stop cheating. He called it "Disrespect". Then I began eye rolling my own image in the mirror and I turned on myself until I decided to leave the situation. All better now.

i eyeroll to express love 🥲

Best marriage advice

Genius

@grok what is this clip from?

epidemic of female eye rolling and disrespect the culture has become corrupted feminism

Eyerolling isn't hatred. If you say something really stupid, eye-rolling is perfectly appropriate.

Really interesting 🙂🙏 Can I have the link to the complete interview please ?

I’ve caught the 👁️ roll from family,once I see that,it’s a wrap!

Also, the eye rolling comes from “she” more often… check your pronouns…

There’s the occasional eye roll or shake of the head that kind of says “what am I going to do with you?” that’s comedic with some couples. A known playfulness. If it’s constant though & paired with an often bickery dialogue, that’s a sign of underlying disgust & not good imo.

Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt are the "four horsemen of relationships" that predict a likelihood of divorce. - Gottman Institute

Basically you’re talking to a child. They lack flexiblity & compassion to listen.

You can turn a best friend or a lover into a mortal enemy who actually wants to destroy your life with constant disrespect like that. It just builds up over time

We do this with our political disagreements too.

I just applied what he said to why some people hate other races and religions and want to annihilate them. This makes sense
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