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Nothing makes me explode harder than a handsome face, perfect smile, and smooth sexy soles stroking me 🥵🫠🔥 Brandon Dallas AUG LAS VEGAS 19-23

150,845 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten •via X (Twitter)

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Exhibit A in “How to ruin your own life before 25”: Almost-25-year-old rolls into a tattoo shop to cover up her latest regrettable elbow decision… and the artist simply notices reality: rainbow hair, face tattoos that look like they lost a bet with a Sharpie, lip piercings straight out of a “hire me never” starter pack, neck barbed wire (peak approachable energy), spiderweb for extra edge, and hands covered in enough random symbols to qualify as a walking “do not hire” sign. Artist: “How old are you?” “Almost 25.” Artist: “That’s a lot going on with your face for somebody who’s not even 25 yet.” Our protagonist’s brilliant defense? “I only have two face tattoos” while frantically pointing at their forehead, eye drips, neck, and hands like they’re counting participation trophies. Then they hit 13. Because apparently everything from the neck up (and the hands) doesn’t count if you squint hard enough and lie to yourself. Nothing says “I make excellent long-term decisions” like turning your face and hands into a permanent billboard for “I peaked during my edgy phase and now I’m surprised the world treats me accordingly.” The artist didn’t “judge.” They observed the obvious consequences of a string of poor choices and had the audacity to say it out loud. This is NOT peak self-expression and empowerment. It’s a masterclass in making every future job interview, relationship, and opportunity harder than it needed to be.

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