Ok we're buying this tower, right?

I guess it's not for sale ☹️

“Has no windows” shortly followed by “you can hear screams coming from the windows.”

Look, nobody's perfect

Unfortunately, it's called King Alfred's Tower and was built to commemorate the end of the Seven Years War. No one has lived in it and it's hollow inside with a staircase to access the top of the tower. It belongs to the UK National Trust and isn't for sale.

I mean it’s Azkaban right? Like you just need a squad of dementors to round it out.

Are those expensive?

Pretty sure that schizophrenia wasn't even a word when that tower was built

PROBABLY

Can I chip in for the top floor? I’d love a balcony view and I’d be willing to provide communal access for all the voices in people’s heads

You've got a deal