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Oliver El-Khatib on how they move forward when him, 40 & Drake don't agree on something. He also says most of the time they follow Drake's lead who is a visionary genius beyond comprehension. "It's something hard to put into words, you kinda have to know him and if...

230,531 次观看 • 7 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

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Most women assume that when a man goes silent... He doesn't care about her. FALSE. What if he's actually carrying something he doesn't know how to put into words? What if the thing you're calling defiance... is really shame? Ladies, You need to understand this: 👇 When a man goes silent, most women interpret it as abandonment, neglect and disrespect. She demands, “Why don’t you talk to me?” Not realizing that, to him, it can feel like being trapped. Like a caged animal. And when a caged animal is cornered? Violence can become the outcome. When a man has carried the responsibilities of a committed relationship... but is told he has failed in her eyes... he starts to feel like nothing he does is ever good enough for her. For a man, respect is earned. Through competency. Hard work. Courage. Responsibility. If he has committed to those things... but still believes he hasn't earned your respect... he feels masculine shame. And shame naturally causes withdrawal. One of the worst things for a man is to feel vulnerable... in a place where he already feels small. Women often don't understand this... because when women feel shame, they cry. They talk. They rationalize. They lean into being the "weaker vessel." Men don't have that same outlet. So they go silent. They numb themselves with work. Porn. Alcohol. Drugs. Or anything that helps them escape what they don't know how to fix. It's not that he doesn't care about you. On the contrary... he often cares too much. How does a woman make a man feel disrespected? If she asked for honesty... and reacted badly when he gave it... he remembers. If she asked him for something... and he genuinely tried to make it happen... but failed... he remembers. If she rolled her eyes at something he said... he remembers. He files every one of those moments away... into a folder of self-hate. Until one day... it bursts open in aggression. And suddenly she's shocked by a reaction... that had been building for years. So what do you do? You don't rock him like a baby. You can't breastfeed him. You don't stand in the doorway so he can't leave. You don't pick up the pieces for him. You don't try to solve the problem for him. You don't say, "Why won't you talk to me?" You simply give him space. And say: "I'm not your enemy. I don't need you to fix anything. I just need to know you're still here." Then... step aside. And let him go. That reminds him he's safe to show up in this relationship as a man... even when he's not at his best. That's when the cold space he's holding onto begins to thaw. And you remind him... that he's still in control of himself... instead of attacking his silence.

Gia Macool

210,844 次观看 • 24 天前