Parts of England today

OMG this man was in the pub in front of me yesterday! He stormed out after the second Spanish goal yelling "I want ONE THING in my life". He didn't come back inside.

I wonder if it’s possible that one thing still wouldn’t make him happy.

And if that Gareth Southgate was to come into my pub and offer to manage our second team. I’d say Southgate NO.

The return of Alf Garnett: “I told him but he wouldn’t bleedin listen”

And lots of Twitter. The number of blokes who would have done a better job could fill Wembley Staduim.

Absolutely ridiculous Everyone knows rendering is Bellingham’s strength

Great piece, thank you. Can't get over the fact that full face, direct to camera you look quite like Freddie Trueman. Hope this pleases you as much as it would me.

Good timing for your Match of the Day audition.

@ShappiKhorsandi Only beaten? Bloody woke lefty.

“My life is shit and it’s your fault” sums up the entire mindset

Southgate should've sent a team of gynacologists through a time vortex to when George Best was still a zygote, there to extract said zygote, returning then to c.1998 to implant it inside suitable English woman's womb - preferably a Muslim woman, who'd keep him off the sauce.

Absolutely perfect Mark. You forgot to mention that it was also his fault that the DB trains were shite & we got stranded in Brussels.

That’s basically Danny Baker

It’s coming home It’s coming home Disappointment’s coming home

That’s a brilliant Danny Baker impression Mark, you just need to work on the accent a bit and you’ve nailed it 🤣

Brilliant 😍

Excellent analysis! :) Wondering if you would you give a hand to a bunch of hard-working volunteers, raising money for their community in Reading. We're fundraising for a proper library for our state primary school. Would be amazing to have your support (it'll take 2 minutes). Donate a few £££ to help us create a really well resourced library?

Is it any fcuking wonder this was the intention of the Liverpool jury…

That got a bit too real at the end.

Some people butch a lot. This needs a life

Nail on the head Mark

Job is now available apply now

'You look well. Have you been ill?' Specific scouse banter. I still love those bloomin lectures, never mind the odd 'in town'. Couldn't give a lucky jump what political or sporty malarkey you're into. Made up for you that you're doing ok, now.

What a mess.

@RufusHound 😂😂😂😂😂

Seems reasonable. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes satire back fires and smells like it’s come out an arse hole.

Simon Jordan after a few jars

😂😂😂😂

Utter nonsense - Saka should be on the roof, Bellingham should be Prague and George V should be in goal.

Comedy genius 🙄

I’m sure that bloody song /chant “Footballs coming home” puts a jinx on winning. Should be banned and then let’s see how we do next time.

The funniest thing I’ve seen. EVER. Could only have been improved by gobblng a bit on the camera

love the elements in this song