Robert Pattinson says knowing everything about your partner can ruin a relationship. Zendaya completely disagrees. Robert Pattinson: "I think you suffocate a relationship if you're saying, 'I need to know everything about your past.'" Zendaya: "If you feel safe with somebody, hopefully you feel safe enough with me that... you want to share." Robert Pattinson: "The past has nothing to do with you." Zendaya: "It's good to know someone at their core so you can grow together." Robert Pattinson: "It also reveals your own insecurity if you're constantly saying, 'I need to know all the stuff about your past.'"show more

They're both right. She isn't saying she needs to know everything just that being vulnerable with someone means showing them the shit you don't tell anyone else. Not that she's keeping a ledger. Scorekeepers don't understand the difference and that's why their relationships suck.

When you're building a connection, opening up is about letting someone fully see you

@mrobdoesitall If you care so much about my past is because of your own insecurities, thank you

@mrobdoesitall You have to care if its marriage

tbh both are right, boundaries matter, so does transparency

You need both for a relationship to work

Yeeep🤝

This is like watching two superathletes going at each other. Each response is better than the last. So good 🥹🥹

Peak verbal sparring. Neither one is wrong

@FirdausIsmail92 Robert is definitely wrong in saying the past has nothing to do with you. It may or may not influence you, depending on how you’ve dealt with it, but the most sure prediction of future behavior is past behavior. The past is usually very influential in you. Just not absolutely.

@FirdausIsmail92 How someone handled their past is what built their habits, triggers and values today

both are right but the way shes willing to say ‘i can see where you’re coming from’ and he has a rebuttal for everything she says .. is that defensiveness not revealing of insecurity in itself?

Refusing to give an inch usually comes from fear

Pattison sounds like an avoidant. Avoidant usually don't like talking about the past.

You can't blame him honestly. He's been through a lot

I think she means to have a great connection with your partner you should know all the important milestones of your partners past. Idk why he is hung up insecurity.

To him, if a partner insists on knowing every detail, it feels like an interrogation driven by jealousy

Trust isn’t measured by how much you know about someone’s past, but by how you treat each other in the present.

Yeah absolutely but knowing your partner at core too is important

Secrecy and privacy are not the same. If you want someone to trust you with their future, be honest and trust them with your past. People who deliberately hide the (past) truth ultimately destroy trust.

If youre deliberately hiding heavy stuff because you know it would change how your partner sees you that's not privacy that's deception

Both are making sense honestly …..wanting full transparency can come from a real need to feel safe and build something solid with the actual person in front of you. At the same time, treating someone’s entire history like a required dossier often says more about your own anxiety than about the relationship…the healthy middle is usually selective vulnerability. sharing the parts that actually matter for trust and growth, without turning the past into a permanent interrogation.

@heisgrey_ Bottom line is you need enough honesty to build trust but enough personal space to keep your sanity

Everyone talking from experience

It’s funny. She’s just like, I want to be myself and seen. Robert sees openness as neediness - clearly that’s what he saw at some point Zendaya is right here. Openness can’t be forced or pushed, but it is the goal

Rob is focused on protecting his boundaries from someone trying to control him while zendaya wants to build a safe space with her partner where they can share anything. Both are right

He’s right with the specific thing he’s talking about - not to be pressured into openness. But that’s not what the conversation is about

they're describing two different things. knowing every detail of someone's day is not the same as knowing them, and the couples who run out of things to say usually mixed the two up years ago.

massive distinction right there. People confuse constant updates with intimacy

Source: @nytimes

There's a few years between these guys yes? When I was younger, knowing everything was fine As a couple who come together older..... too much information is a killer, because you weren't there so your imagination fills in detail that didn't happen....

Yeah, rob is 40 and zendaya is 29, so about an 11-year gap Age and experience totally change how you see this

Best celebrity couple right now

Their differences in opinion is bc of their age gap. I thought as she did at her age. I've learned since that the dumbass things we did when young don't define us. Our current actions do. It's hard to believe at her age that someone can be the opposite of their younger selves.

Time is the only thing that teaches you that difference

One met her lover pretty young and they probably know a lot about each other. Another is known for his young romance where both partners (yes, both) cheated on each other all the time according to rumors and who messaged one of his exes while he had a pregnant wife/gf

context changes everything

Zendaya's giving her own general answer to the question. Pattinson's kinda j trauma dumping.

Pattinson been through a lot

If someone did something that would make me not want to be with them, I would want to know.

I think everyone would want to know

There’s a fine line that’s all. They are both right but it truly varies from relationship to relationship

Context is everything. You're right

She's saying the right things, but doubt she feels the same way and reciprocates. That dude has been burned by not knowing people's past stupidity, so I expect he'll continue to get burned.

I think she does, looking at her marriage with Tom. As for Rob he is guarding himself, keeps him safe from old mistakes

There's a difference in age and experience propelling this conversation. Like, when the song Tiny Raisin came out, younger fans were horrified over the lyrics that Suki sang about Rob. But those of us in long-term relationships, we found it realistically endearing and sweet.

Life experience completely changes how you view all of this

These two have chemistry. Wonder what Tom thinks haha

Lmao 😂 I think he supports his wife Zendaya. Yes definitely supports her

Insightful

So if rob didn’t know about Kristen Stewart cheating on him he would have married her then found out later but in his own words her past does not matter?

Yeah big difference there

this actually highlights a basic difference in the wiring of men and women. for men, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. for women, their imagination runs wild with all the possibilities, and they like to assume the worst possible scenario to protect themselves.

Not gender based but for a lot of people, ignorance is peace

I like these types of conversation. Well-balanced. Great watch.

I like them too that's why I share them

Robert called it there. What happened before is in the before times.

Though if its marriage i do want to know them well

People learn people grow. Can you imagine holding someone culpable for relationships they had before they met you? The person you're meeting now is because of those prior relationships. What if he decided to give you the third degree about your past?

I get her point but a lot of what Rob said makes sense to me, are you supposed to be aware of everything that goes on with your person? Every inner feeling, idea? Maybe to a certain extent it's like he said, it's sort of an unnecessary pressure, certain things even if you do

As long as you're aligned on the stuff that actually matters

No! Robert is a cuck 😭

They’re both right. Zendaya isn’t demanding a full forensic audit of the past — she’s talking about the kind of safety where someone wants to share the heavy, private stuff because they feel secure enough to do it. Pattinson is warning against the insecurity that turns “I need to know everything” into a requirement before trust can exist. The real difference is vulnerability versus scorekeeping. Scorekeepers treat history like evidence in a case. People who actually grow together treat it as context they’re allowed to offer, not something that has to be extracted.

Yep vulnerability builds trust overtime while scorekeeping destroys it fast

@stef_j_30 She’s not pushing to know about your past or know everything about you, she’s saying if you feel safe with somebod, you’d be able to share without them asking

@stef_j_30 If you feel you have to hide stuff the trust isn't fully there. Simple as that

I don’t think zendaya is saying to trauma dump ur entire life on day 3, but if im gonna marry someone i don’t want their history to be a complete mystery. Hell there’s shit my partner and I find new to tell each other ab our pasts and we’ve been tg 20 years

Exactly. Big difference between dumping your trauma and keeping someone completely in the dark forever

Typical men's and women's thinking. They think differently. Women's weapon in a relationship is men's details to eventually use them, so naturally, they want to know more about you. Defensively, men don't want to share.

Women usually want details to feel close and men hold back out of fear of judgment

The thing with telling people anything about yourself these days is that they will hold you to that shit like it’s the law. Like if you say you go to bed kinda early and one day you just happen to be up at 10 it’ll legit be like you broke the entire plane of existence 😂

The moment you do anything slightly different they act like you committed a crime