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Squidward cooks Krabby Patties

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JayTheCartoonboss2

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Hmmm. It seems like all the conservative influencers who shame men for not following their little rules are having trouble resisting the same behaviors they shame others for. Common phenomenon among moralizing types. So common that SpongeBob—who, for a cartoon, was philosophically ahead of its time—made an entire episode about this dynamic. In “Just One Bite,” SpongeBob is shocked to learn Squidward has never tried a Krabby Patty. The greasy, unhealthy but delicious Krabby Patty represents debauchery and hedonism. Squidward insists he’d never touch something so gross. SpongeBob convinces him to try one bite; Squidward claims it’s the worst thing he’s ever tasted. After SpongeBob leaves heartbroken, Squidward secretly goes insane with desire for more. He had no idea how good it tasted. He spends the episode desperately hiding his craving from SpongeBob. It ends with Squidward exploding from eating too many Krabby Patties. Whether it’s an affair between two married coworkers, a quick trip to a NYC fashion show to model, or a visit to see Andrew Tate, we can fairly assume these people are more like Squidward. Meanwhile, those of us blamed for enjoying a Krabby Patty once in a while are probably saner than the ones insisting even a little degeneracy was an issue. The real problem was always men and women believing they were above it and better than you for resisting temptation. So just chill and enjoy a Krabby Patty—lest you go insane and explode.
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