The correct etiquette for eating grapes

That's a bit too much for me. I'm a simple man, not really into all this.

Don't tell me how to eat. As long as I'm not making too much noise or mess, how I eat is none of your business.

making instruments for every type of food in the name of “etiquette” seems like another sign of the inevitable fall of the British empire

Lamborghini over the years

What’s the etiquette for eating raisins?

Just eat the damn grapes

Those previous gentleman sure knew how to make eating tedious.

this is correct actually

Incorrect. Only proper way to eat grapes is to be fed them from women.