The Crime League Table

Congratulations to Albanians for their massive win this year - to everybody else, better luck next year

Which Country would you pick for your Fantasy Crime League?

Full Results

"We need to steal at least 814 iPhones in order to win next year and no less than 315 Deliveroo drivers assaulting young women. This is Bashkim Çela. He runs a vape store. He is one of the most criminal asylum seeker in the league. His defect is that he doesn't rape."

Jesus Christ It’s a running joke in Poland that all criminals moved to UK/Germany in 2004 and they are still at the bottom of that list Grim.

I really hope it's Somalia's year this year. I'm sick of watching Albania park the bus every match.

Romania needs to update its tactics. Although it retains faith in a petty theft (e.g., shoplifting) system, the game has moved on: in 2024-25, this is simply no longer going to bring in the arrests.

Pakistani's having a weak season when they should be challenging for top 4. Need to see a new manager tbh.

Poland slander

They did a study in Denmark (I believe) where if you removed those groups (Somalians were swapped with Syrians) you had very minor positive migration impact.